Time to start again

happy_daddy_2

Hi Examplesno1fan and everyone else, overnight I haven't slept brilliant I have been up since 4ish its 5 days now since I haven't seen my daughter, Its so frustrating that I have the knowledge that my daughter is literally the next street down from me and all I want to do is reach out and touch her and kiss her cheek and let her know Daddy loves her X Its weird though I love what was wrote in your post example I am going to remain dignified and strong and keep my mind occupied I am planning to visit my friend tomorrow I have had amazing offers of support surrounded so much by love I was even blessed by an offer of an Mckenzies friend basically I hope I have got this right specialize in family law and shes a friend of the family who supported me the first time around She will be right by myside through it all she will help me prepare documentation expain any legal issues I have and she will be right by my side even when I go to court even the residents god love them they have been giving me a boiled sweet or two They have seen me go from been the chirpy character that sings on the karaoke at them to Mr Quiet, I am so going to bounce back from this...Please stay safe everyone today good old british weather is totally pants X

HeadAboveWater

happy_daddy wrote: »

its 5 days now since I haven't seen my daughter, Its so frustrating that I have the knowledge that my daughter is literally the next street down from me and all I want to do is reach out and touch her and kiss her cheek and let her know Daddy loves her X

*hug*

This is such a tough time for you but please do stay strong. Emma knows without question that you love her. Remember that.

Thinking about you as always

happy_daddy_2

As promised, heres a little bit of what me and Emma has had to go through over just the last couple of months Last summer Emma was coming to me tatty greasy hair and what I found out was Emma was only getting one bath a week and then I realized that I needed to do something but needed to handle the situation carefully due to the fact on previous occasions I have not been allowed to voice an opinion every time I have said something my access is stopped or other things come about, I finally had a light bulb moment that I was never allowed inside the house I had to wait at the front door curtains closed I then decided I would do something I would wait for an opportunity when I knew emma and ex was out I knew they had an hospital appointment I went to investigate and when I did I was horrified I went to the house via the back entrance I had great difficulty even getting through the garden gate the grass was so thick and long I could see what was a path but just a complete grass jungle I looked through the back door window it was littered to the top of the ceiling with cardboard boxes I then I side stepped to my left and looked through the window and was gutted and heart broken in the window sill I was greeted with what seemed to be tomato plants dead on the sill, grease, dirt dead flies and I observed what was once a kitchen more cardboard boxes from the floor building up on the floor was dirt rotten bits of food kitchen plates piled with all kind of remains of food on the plates the kitchen was a state but what hurt the most was the oven full of grease and at the bottom of the hub was un struck matches right around the hob so many I couldnt count I knew I had to do something what would happen if there was a fire? I reported the matter fully to the social services straightaway it resulted in Emma been placed with her grandma (exesmum) who sees her once a week I gained peace of mind knowing emma was going to be safe ideally I will be honest I would have loved to have spent a week with Emma taking her to school and doing fatherly duties deep down I was gutted. Questioning her mum I said to her mum why don't you ever go around to see her daughter she said to me I don't want to upset ex as non of the family does not want anything to do with her I am her mum I don't want to upset her part of me felt for her mum but the other bit was annoyed aswell,,, I hope you agree with me here. Anyway trying to cut a long story short my access was messed about with I tried to get emma full time but I was not granted it by the social services my access by ex was returned back to normal so I dropped things to keep the peace what I thought I was doing it for the best, But things seem to have took a turn for the worse once more. I knew there was an issue last weekend but could not work it out what the problem was, last weekend I was supposed to have my daughter ex would no grant me Emma but only told me this after I took her to Durham and paid £10 to the stepdad the one who wants to beat my face in because all I was trying to do was help an resolve an issue anyway Ex on Monday has supposed to have received a letter from anon saying how much of a bad role model of a father I am and because of this ex claims she has been to the solicitor already the solicitor has given two options apparently stop access or reduced hours mmmm I have been given a copy of the letter by ex (in ink) and well I believe its my exes handwriting and I will try and prove it I was given the option off reduced hours by ex which I accepted but unfortunately was taken away from me on Thursday saying Emma does not want to see me... Anymore any way I still have a little bit more to say about things but I am going to save it for now I hope you can see that its not an ex try to get one nil up but someone with love and concern for my little one that is deep down trying to get help for ex partner surely no human should have to live like this Tonight has been hard for me knowing literaly Emma is five minutes away from Staying focused good will come from this Ex is someones daughter but emma Lou is my daughter I Love her and forever I will protect her

Spends for £0 I am delighted :T

happy_daddy_2

Well after a busy day its time to got t o sleep night everyone take care x

kelpie35

I am thinking of you.

Stay strong and things will work out for you and Emma.

She still knows you love her and are missing her.

dorothy52

Oh HD I have just caught up with you and am so very, very sorry to hear what you are going through. Mr Dot lost contact with his 2 daughters when they were about Emma's age due to his ex wife behaving just as Emma's mum is. It near drove him mad BUT they are adults now and love him to bits and are very bitter towards their mother. I will post more later as I have to go out now - stay strong xx

dorothy52

OK I'm back. Love, this is going to be a really hard time for you, brace yourself BUT you WILL get through it. You have us to talk to and we will stay with you until this is resolved and you have no idea how much this will help - we had no one to talk to except each other and it almost split us up. Unless things have changed in the last 15 years, the courts seem to side with the woman - I so hope and pray that it is not the case now. As for applying for custody, unless you can prove that Emma is in danger you are unlikely to be granted it.

We spent our life savings fighting this and the ex payed not a penny as she had legal aid, so please bear this in mind.

I am going to check on you every day, and please believe me when I say this - Emma will be missing you with all her heart and loves you to bit....NOTHING, BUT NOTHING will change that. I know that in our case our girls love us and are probably closer to us now as adults than they would have been if we had not lost contact with them, so please bear that in mind. Mr Bloater says it all - stay strong my friend; you WILL prevail.

Dotxx

dorothy52

Just a thought - if you can, I would print off this diary and show it to Emma when she is older. She will treasure it. It will not only prove to her how much you love her, but it will bring her comfort to know that when you were going through such a hard time you had us to talk to. I can't emphasise enough that though you feel rubbish now, and it will get worse before it gets better, it WILL become easier to bear and it most certainly won't last forever.

beanielou

My heart just weeps for you & for Emma.
Stay strong & keep fighting.

kelpie35

Another wee thought from me HD...........

Would the school be able to support you and possibly give you a letter to confirm how Emma is coping with this upset etc.

Hope you are managing to keep your pecker up.

You have so much love to give and are a very dignified young man.