Counting cash etiquette

j.e.j.

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Interesting...if everyone who came to England just did what the 'English' did - people here would not be eating curries, chillis, pasta, pizza, nachos, barbeques, rice, noodles, sushi...yada yada yada.

And yet when the English invaded they forced their customs onto the indigenous people. How does that work, exactly?

Oh, so it's 'when in England' do as we do but 'we' can do what we want where we want. :T:T:T

Hm it depends. There are places in Europe which seem to have become havens/ghettos for English people. The number of English people living in Spain who don't even bother learning Spanish, for example.

But if you're living in another country as an individual then you do have to adapt, learn the language, learn social etiquette, etc. You will make many enemies otherwise!

wanchai_2

spaghetti_monster wrote: »

This made me think of something on a bit of a different subject - here in Holland if you go to a party/gathering, say in someone's house, no matter if there are quite a lot of people, you are expected to immediately greet every single person individually. People you know get 3 kisses and people you don't get a handshake and you introduce yourself. What I'd normally do in this situation is say a general hello as I entered the room and introduce myself/greet people later as we mingle. I feel really uncomfortable doing this "round" of the room and OH always has to give me a nudge to do it as it would be considered rude not to!

Having visited friends in other countries and lived with housemates from countries where they do this, I have to say that it's one of my favourite customs. Rather than an awkward 'hello' to the group and not catching half the names, it's so lovely to greet and be greeted individually, and I so wish that it would catch on here. My Spanish friends will exchange two kisses with someone even when being introduced for the first time, I find it utterly charming.

spaghetti_monster

wanchai wrote: »

Having visited friends in other countries and lived with housemates from countries where they do this, I have to say that it's one of my favourite customs. Rather than an awkward 'hello' to the group and not catching half the names, it's so lovely to greet and be greeted individually, and I so wish that it would catch on here. My Spanish friends will exchange two kisses with someone even when being introduced for the first time, I find it utterly charming.

I do also think there's something nice about it, but it still makes me feel a bit awkward. I still don't catch half the names, as you go round the room and hear maybe 15 names in just a short time. But now I just take a deep breath and get on with it!
But it must be rubbing off as recently I was back in the UK at a family gathering and some distant cousins I'd never met (and didn't know many people) arrived and didn't say anything or even make much eye contact. I found it quite weird and felt compelled to go and shake their hand/introduce myself and didn't feel so awkward!

In Holland you don't kiss people the first time you meet them and the rules don't really apply to young children and I'm never quite sure when to include them in these social norms. I'm female so I get to kiss everybody, men don't kiss other men. You kiss your friends when you meet, but sometimes I see certain friends everyday for work and then we don't kiss each day when we say hello/goodbye........
Anyway, all in all I find it quite amusing negotiating the social minefield in another culture!

ScottyJ

It makes life very interesting! My wife is of Dutch origin as I said but grew up in another country - I was born in one country but essentially grew up with another country's values and we now live in a completely different country. If our kids turn out to be great at sport they could represent one of 5 different countries, so goodness knows what they'll think of all our mixed values!

The Danes seem to do the whole room kissing thing too which I find really nice as well. Between my best friend living in Copenhagen and the wife's family in Holland, I spend a large part of the summer holidays kissing foreigners. Ah well it's all good for international relations

Mrs.W_2

ScottyJ wrote: »

It makes life very interesting! My wife is of Dutch origin as I said but grew up in another country - I was born in one country but essentially grew up with another country's values and we now live in a completely different country. If our kids turn out to be great at sport they could represent one of 5 different countries, so goodness knows what they'll think of all our mixed values!

The Danes seem to do the whole room kissing thing too which I find really nice as well. Between my best friend living in Copenhagen and the wife's family in Holland, I spend a large part of the summer holidays kissing foreigners. Ah well it's all good for international relations

Ok, I've not read through this thread, but....

Ach, you already know that you and your OH are going to differ a good many times. Chat out the obvious differences that come along - like the counting of money in front of others. But do so in private!

A 'look' at a certain time might well be miscontrued. So it's always best to allow such things to happen, then quietly talk over the differences in etiquette later. In private.

(eta; did you really need us to read through?)

OrkneyStar

I'd say it is a bit odd too, perhaps she is just proud of herself for managing to save up so much?

Hermia

spaghetti_monster wrote: »

This made me think of something on a bit of a different subject - here in Holland if you go to a party/gathering, say in someone's house, no matter if there are quite a lot of people, you are expected to immediately greet every single person individually. People you know get 3 kisses and people you don't get a handshake and you introduce yourself. What I'd normally do in this situation is say a general hello as I entered the room and introduce myself/greet people later as we mingle. I feel really uncomfortable doing this "round" of the room and OH always has to give me a nudge to do it as it would be considered rude not to!

That sounds lovely! I have been to so many parties here where I haven't known anyone and the host doesn't introduce you to anyone. I have ended up either standing on my own or going up to a group and introducing myself and discovering they are all friends and don't appreciate being interrupted.

1886

Your wife sounds about ten years old.. savings jar, lol

LisaLou1982

I think its more just a case of different cultures.
My family span, English, Spanish and Ukrainian.

It is openly asked in the Ukraine and would not be considered rude at all to ask someone how much they earn, or anything else relating to money and/or salary.

Same in Spain but not to the same extent. People there seem to be very open regarding money. I think its a British thing that we are so secretive!

That said, i wouldnt ask someone how much they were earning unless it was a close friend/relative

londonsurrey

There's a scene in a film with Hugh Grant trying to propose to a girl in a Chinese restaurant. He's set it up with the restaurant manager to put the proposal in a fortune cookie.

Part of the comedy was the refusal of said manager to go away after beamingly serving up the cookies. She stood there, staring at them. And when he finally got the ring on the girl's finger, the manager exclaimed "Ahhh, 2 carat! Where you buy, how much you pay?" :rotfl::rotfl:

Although it is parodied somewhat, it is based on the fact that some cultures do find it perfectly normal to query and discuss such matters.