Counting cash etiquette

heretolearn_2

I would find the cash counting very odd done by anyone over the age of about 12, but I wouldn't find it rude and it's not an 'etiquette' rule here to not count money in front of people - unless you are doing it to show off. showing off is never polite. She comes across as childish more than anything else.

Asking about salary IS rude in the UK. Close family/friends may choose to discuss it with you, but you still don't ask in the first place, or only in vague terms. And you absolutely never ask this of casual acquaintances/strangers, it's very rude.

I disagree with the point that manners/etiquette doesn't travel. Have whatever rules you want in the privacy of your own home, but it's foolish not to try to learn the rules of the society in which you live so that you don't go around offending people all the time. You don't have to become 'English' - it's a case of 'when in Rome...'.

Sambucus_Nigra

heretolearn wrote: »

but it's foolish not to try to learn the rules of the society in which you live so that you don't go around offending people all the time. You don't have to become 'English' - it's a case of 'when in Rome...'.

Interesting...if everyone who came to England just did what the 'English' did - people here would not be eating curries, chillis, pasta, pizza, nachos, barbeques, rice, noodles, sushi...yada yada yada.

And yet when the English invaded they forced their customs onto the indigenous people. How does that work, exactly?

Oh, so it's 'when in England' do as we do but 'we' can do what we want where we want. :T:T:T

bestpud

I wouldn't find it rude but I agree with those who say it is childlike.

I thought from your thread title you were going to ask if it's rude to count/check the amount of money friends have handed you for whatever reason. I find that awkward.

I don't think you should be giving your wife dirty looks for something she clearly doesn't have a problem with. Probably better to chat about it in a light hearted way later.

maninthestreet

Buy her one of those cash-counting money saving jars that keep a running total of the money put into the jar - then she won't have to count the money!

lolavix

It does sound a bit strange to even think about emptying her savings jar in the middle of a conversation. I'm one in the camp that I don't care who knows what I earn though and I don't see why it's such a taboo subject. It's useful to know where you are compared to people doing similar jobs.

Hermia

I find the counting money out in front of people a little odd rather than rude. If it was a little kid doing it you would congratulate them and make a big deal of it, but I'm not sure what I'd do if it was an adult.

The salary thing can just be down to cultural differences. My Indian relatives think nothing of asking your salary and don't understand why people find it rude. They see your salary as something you should be proud of.

seven-day-weekend

armchairexpert wrote: »

I wouldn't find counting the cash rude, just...odd. Frankly, I don't care enough about anyone's savings to sit there for ages while they laboriously count out a savings' jar. "I'm about halfway there" is enough information for the subject, let's move on.

Asking about someone's salary, unless it's one's best friend and that is the norm, is definitely rude.

Only to certain nationalities/cultures.

A French friend of mine sold his little farm on the outskirts of the Spanish village we used to live in. Some Dutch friends asked us how much he had sold it for. We siad we didn't know, as he had not told us, neither had the buyers (British). They looked incredulous and said 'didn't you ask either of them?' and we said no, in our culture it would be deemed as very bad mannered. They then said they would ask them and did so.

So they obviously didn't think it was rude.

As for the money counting incident, I might have thought it a bit strange, but it would it have bothered me in the slightest. I think she was probably just excited about it.

Gra76

I'd find it a bit wierd if someone just emptied a jar of coins in front of me and started counting it up!

I feel bad getting coins out of my pocket to see how much I've got to hand, never mind a jar of them! I can imagine it might have felt a bit awkward.

podperson

I would have thought it was a little odd to go and get the money and start counting it in the middle of another conversation but not particularly rude. I certainly wouldn't have been offended by it.

OP, I do think you sound a little bit uptight - I certainly wouldn't call my OH 'rude' or 'crass' over something like that or be giving them dirty looks in front of friends. If it bothers you so much then I would have just mentioned casually when you were alone that that kind of thing isn't as common over here as it obviously is in her country and it might possibly make other people feel a little bit awkward. If you visited her country and weren't aware of the normal etiquette there would you want your wife to treat you like that?

ScottyJ

Thanks for your replies folks, interesting mix of opinions.

I do appreciate that I was wrong to give her the dirty look, hence why I said I was 'guilty' of it. I apologised and realised that was wrong, however, it was an instant reaction and that's what made me curious as to where that thought process had come from. Was it ingrained in me from a young age; did others think the same; or was I being uptight.

Also, reading my post again, I shouldn't have used the word crass - it was 1am and I just couldn't find the right word!

I think the consensus is that yes it was a bit odd of her to do, but also a bit odd of me to think counting money in front of people is a taboo. Fair enough.

Interesting someone mentioned the Dutch couple and their attitude, as my wife is originally of Dutch origin too.

(Which reminds me of the classic joke - how was copper wire invented? A Scotsman and a Dutchman fighting over a penny)