Counting cash etiquette

Rebecca01

ScottyJ wrote: »

Well I'd have said about halfway there, but I think she said she is £230 of the way there!

Comments noted - I shall lighten up a bit

The problem with this saving up thing is that Apple keep releasing new more expensive ipads that she HAS to have. She's a gadget geek and loves having the best she can get but that means the finish line keeps getting further away!

Good going, though at least the new 4 th gen ipad is the same price as the 3rd gen. She could go for the mini but if she is a gadget geek , she will hate not having the retina.

ScottyJ

Yep it's all about the retina. Apparently...

IenjoyAbargain

I ,too, have been brought up abroad and so I take a lot of my habits from a different culture.... including the money thing!

I know now it`s not the done thing in England , but where I come from its just conversation and not something people even blink at.

My partner is English and we often don`t see eye to eye on manners, as we have been taught such different things. We sometimes fall out about it as to him I`m sometimes plain rude, and to me he is just being unreasonable expecting me to be just like him.

It can wear one out, and while I understand ' While in Rome....' it`s still en-rooted in my mind that some things are just normal to me and I find it hard to suddenly view them as abnormal.

Just a view from the other side !

maman

ScottyJ wrote: »

I never mentioned coins, it's all notes

I had visions of her pouring a big pile of coins out and counting through it all! That'll each me to make assumptions.

burnoutbabe

thats even stranger to have notes in a savings jar towards a new ipad. Either save it in your bank account (ie £50 a month) or maybe use left over coins.

is she hoarding house keeping or something?

embob74

I also assumed it was coins being counted which I did think was quite rude mainly due to the time it would take when you were supposed to be hosting and the fact toddlers were about who would gravitate towards the pennies.
Counting notes is just odd - why not count them in the bedroom to tell people the total?
Odd that it was brought up seemingly randomly too.

As for it being childlike to save coins up.....pffttt!!! I have a sealed tin which I collect pound coins in and I don't think it's childlike to do so. OH and I won't feel the least bit childish when we open it and spend the £600+ that's in there on a romantic weekend. I also don't think it's childlike to not want to rush to my bank every time I have a few coins I want to deposit and save.

wanchai_2

I'm going to agree 100% with the OP! To me, that is a very crass thing to do. I would have 'ignored' it out of politeness as your guests did, but I would have been completely baffled and thought that perhaps she was hinting that she wanted contributions towards it. What a deeply strange thing to do. If I knew her well and knew that this was in line with her culture, I may be more understanding, though.

Same as most of you, I was brought up to believe that talking about money outside the family was not polite, and I definitely wouldn't ask anyone what their salary was!

Only my opinion!

j.e.j.

I assumed it was a coin jar too! How odd to start counting £230 worth of notes out when it has nothing to do with the people or the conversation going on around her. Yes it does seem a bit 'socially stupid' tbh!

kloana

I don't really see a problem here. 'We' (British) are in the minority in not discussing money openly. In Scandanavian societies, it is extremely common to discuss money (even 'private' things, like salaries), which is funny, given the Scandanavian stereotype of being 'closed' and personally 'cold'.

And we all know what the Americans are like!

I had a foreign partner (none of the above nationalities), and he'd openly discuss money (or, lack of) with others to no end. I never perceived it as rude.

What she did sounds a bit odd, even immature, but not necessarily outright rude. It's not like she's gloated about having tens of thousands sat in the bank...she's counted out what probably amounts to a couple of hundred quid. I actually think it's quite quaint

I'd be happy to discuss money with most everybody, provided it didn't put me in a position where I was open to explotation/financial abuse (not that I have any assets to exploit, mind). I discuss money a lot with one particular friend. We're not ultra-close, but we're just likeminded, in that respect.

spaghetti_monster

For me it would depend on how well I knew the guests/type of visit etc as to what would be considered rude to say/do in their presence.

I mentioned this thread to OH (I'm British, he's Dutch) and of course he couldn't see a problem with the money counting. Or indeed asking any questions about money/salary etc. In fact he's constantly amazed that I don't ask people more in depth questions - I think it's also cultural as well as a personality difference.

This made me think of something on a bit of a different subject - here in Holland if you go to a party/gathering, say in someone's house, no matter if there are quite a lot of people, you are expected to immediately greet every single person individually. People you know get 3 kisses and people you don't get a handshake and you introduce yourself. What I'd normally do in this situation is say a general hello as I entered the room and introduce myself/greet people later as we mingle. I feel really uncomfortable doing this "round" of the room and OH always has to give me a nudge to do it as it would be considered rude not to!