Wait for Babies?

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  • victoriaplum1
    victoriaplum1 Posts: 432 Forumite
    First Post
    I think its good to question and good to think about paying the debt off beforehand esp if you know you will have to work straight after otherwise to be able to afford it. I had my first (and only up to now) at 29 and I was called 'an older mother!' thinking of having another late next year will be32/going on 33 then. People have babies older these days I met alot of older mums though obviously you gotta be careful how long you leave it, theres never a right time I dont think cos something always comes along to buy, pay for etc....but it helps if you are relatively debt free...at least then you get a choice of whether you want to go back to work straight away or not, I am lucky I work 12 hours a month and we manage on other halfs wages (16k) cos I have paid off all my debts bar mortgage...I feel really lucky that I have some kind of choice and that I can spend these first few precious years with my son at home....I went back to work initially but soon packed it in for more time at home and a small pt job. I am yet to feel the pinch and we havent changed our lifestyle that much though you save money on nights out etc when you have a baby there isnt that much time for weekends on the town which used to cost £50+ a week!
  • beemuzed
    beemuzed Posts: 2,188 Forumite
    Mortgage-free Glee!
    Certainly you need to work out all the practicalities re best time for taking maternity leave, etc. - but I'm with the "there'll never be a best time" brigade I think! We were totally skint when DS1 was born, had just taken on a mortgage and I had given up teaching as we'd moved to new area - but we managed. Lots of second hand equipment from friends and relatives. New DGD has a fortune spent on her I think - but then her parents can afford to - me I'd have not paid out for top of the range equipment at all! I don't think there'd ever have been a time when we would have had plenty of money, done the big holidays, etc. so I'm glad we went ahead!
    Nothing changes your life like parenthood, and nothing is, eventually, so rewarding!
    Resolution:
    Think twice before spending anything!
  • Aj_eye
    Aj_eye Posts: 80 Forumite
    If we had waited to clear the debt before we had kids we'd still be waiting.......

    My wife is 36 , I'm 33 and we had our son last year... I believe that children are a gift... and if you're blessed to have them then you'll find the money......

    We're almost in a similar situation we want to try for more (we really want twins) and but at the same time we need a new house (you can have 5 people in a 2 bed flat ???....or can you )..

    We can't afford to save fora new hosue because of the debt.... so we're stuck !!!!

    Knowing us we'll try for the kids anyway ...(no harm in getting an early start):D and then work on getting the house......

    in the mean time we'll keep on debt busting !!:T
    Living with the legacy of bad decisions....but Proud to be dealing with my debts !:j Official DFW Nerd No. 362
  • lush_walrus
    lush_walrus Posts: 1,975 Forumite
    Ok, well I am going to go against the grain here and say wait. Personally, and this is personally, I find it completely wreckless to actually put yourself under additional pressure by having debts to pay off and additional expense / drop in income by having children. But, perhaps my opinion is not the best for you, as ultimately I do not have debts or children, and interestingly looking at all of those who have posted saying yes do it seem to have both! So who knows! But, all I can see is further potential problems with decreasing income and increasing costs, when one way or other you have/are already overstretched and trying to repay the amount you are/have been overstretched by.

    Good luck with whatever you choose, I am sure the actual answer lies in you somewhere as only you know where your priorities lie.
  • Queen.Bess
    Queen.Bess Posts: 1,062 Forumite
    DH and I are having the same thoughts at the moment. Last year I thought our debt would be less by now than it actually is. But we would be very old parents by the time we'll be debt free, so my thoughts are to leave it just a few months and make inroads on the credit cards and then start trying. As already said, with a first baby I'm sure we'll get given lots of hand me downs and gifts etc!!

    The only obstacle after that would be my mum, who thinks that our 2 bed terraced house is too small for a baby! Please could someone have a word with her!!
    Official DFW Nerd Club #20 :cool: Proud To Be Dealing With My Debts :D DFW Long Hauler #109 :o

    Slowly, Slowly = Oct '09: £30693, Aug '15: £14820. Could Be Debt Free April 2020, but hoping for sooner!
  • SarahNeedle1872
    SarahNeedle1872 Posts: 6,166 Forumite
    Spendless wrote: »
    It depends what you are taking into account. I was given a lot of baby equipment (cot, bedding, clothes), bought a couple of things 2nd hand (steriliser) and received others as presents (pram, clothes) so that was cheap. The loss in my income was expensive.

    I didn't plan to get pregnant, debt or no debt. To be honest, it is as cheap or expensive as u make it. My OH and I moved in together when we found out I was pregnant, and we were given SOOO much stuff (house stuff and baby stuff) we ended up getting rid of a load of it on eBay and Freecycle.
    As soon as I told people at work I was pregnant, they all started bringing stuff in for me (I work with mainly women, and had to 'borrow' a walk-in store cupboard at work to put all the stuff in they kept bringing - my employer even gave me a job lot of nappies).
    We bought a second hand travel system for £60. The only things we bought new were the car seat, a hamper of reusable nappies and the matresses for the moses basket and the cot (Moses basket £5 from charity shop!). Everything else was either given to us or bought by MIL at the charity shop. My Mum also make very regular contributions of baby clothes from Tescos (excellent value considering all DS does at the mo is puke/wee on stuff). Also, breast is best if u can, not just for the medical reasons... it's free!

    To be honest, I don't think there is ever a bad time to have kids, the benefits far far outweigh any financial 'difficulties'. I am continuing to hammer away at my debts depsite being on maternity leave, and all I did to prepare is make sure I had a few quid at easy reach in case of real emergencies. In fact, if anything, being a Mum has made me even ore determined to clear my debts so I can be a good example to my son.
    Plus, u can always sell baby stuff on eBay - I just sold some hand knitted cardigans that don't fit DS anymore for £6.70 :D

    I would say go for it, if it's what u both want. Babies are SOOO worth it

    Sarah x
    'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars' - Oscar Wilde
  • chunky79
    chunky79 Posts: 732 Forumite
    Babies are as expensive as you want them to be. I have had 4 now and if you want the next Quinny Zapp and a Name brand cot then you r welcome to do so but you will pay a higher price!

    I was 18 when i had my first just about to start Nurse training. I decided i would go do it the next year (9 years on not done it). I managed but then i trained and got a better job. i am now 27 the debt we have was necessary debt as this house i bought was hell on earth (didn't know at the time) anyways none of the debt is anything to do with the kids if you see what i mean.
    You can touch the dust but please don't write in it !

    Would you like to speak to the man in charge, or the woman who knows whats happening?
  • catewithers
    catewithers Posts: 502 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Ok, well I am going to go against the grain here and say wait. Personally, and this is personally, I find it completely wreckless to actually put yourself under additional pressure by having debts to pay off and additional expense / drop in income by having children. But, perhaps my opinion is not the best for you, as ultimately I do not have debts or children, and interestingly looking at all of those who have posted saying yes do it seem to have both! So who knows! But, all I can see is further potential problems with decreasing income and increasing costs, when one way or other you have/are already overstretched and trying to repay the amount you are/have been overstretched by.

    Good luck with whatever you choose, I am sure the actual answer lies in you somewhere as only you know where your priorities lie.

    I think the danger is that you never know how long it's going to take you to conceive, or even if you will be able to conceive naturally. 1 in 7 couples have fertility problems. If you are ready to start a family, but decide to wait until you're debt free, what happens if by that time you're in your mid 30's (if you're female, you fertility declines from 30 and rapidly so from 35) and after 12 months of trying, you're still not pregnant? I know that's worse case scenario, but it's worth considering. You should never assume that you will just be able to conceive and have a baby exactly when you start trying.

    Clearly if you're not ready to have a baby then don't do it! But don't let debt be the only reason not to.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,093 Community Admin
    Photogenic Name Dropper First Post
    Hi little miss giggly, It was a factor in our decisions as well. OH fell pregnant about 48 hours after the phonecall to Payplan. Do it!
  • Babies are expensive as we make them!

    We're just paying off our travelling debt (£21k) from over 3 years ago - and our little boy is now 2 and a bit.

    We all want what's best for our children, but I'm of the opinon what we teach them and how we interact with them is more important than the clothes they wear and toys they play with.

    If you're happy to shop in charity shops / eBay / accept hand me downs, you'll be fine! i'm guessing you're in work and have friends there with young children as well? You'll be fine..!!

    3 years will fly by anyway ;) and you dont want to put off having a child.... but i'd rather stick to what i know about which is clearing our debt...!

    God luck
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