Wait for Babies?

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Comments

  • Mindy_2
    Mindy_2 Posts: 91 Forumite
    I know, I saw that as soon as I posted the message, but went back and added that bit!
  • chevalier
    chevalier Posts: 7,937 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Now is the time to do a financial review for yourselves. We get so entrenched in our spending that we forget to check up on it periodically so

    1) do you have the cheapest car insurance? have a look at https://www.confused.com and see. If your insurance could be cheaper elsewhere, register with https://www.quidco.com so that you can get cash back when you switch. The cash back takes a while to come through but it can go as an overpayment on the loan

    2) ditto with house/contents/life/critical illness insurance. Especially if any of these are with your mortgage provider, as they are almost certainly going to be more. Again you can switch via quidco and get more cash back!

    3) ditto with gas/electric/broadband/telephone/mobile phone/sky/virgin. For each of these you can get cash back again when you swithc (except maybe the sky.)

    4) If you have sky/virgin say you can't afford it any more and have to leave, often they will give you a discount.

    5) Can you overpay the loan? If you can then you could use the cash back to put towards this.

    6) How much do you spend on food/household things/pet food a month. For two people some people spend under £200 a month. Could you make some savings there?
    The best thing about doing this is that you get a cash back on the deal now, but going forwards you are also making the monthly saving too.

    Best of luck with your decision. Having a baby doesn't have to be expensive. You can do it the way I did which was had virtually everything free for 18 months (cot, baby bath, moses basket, then the bed eventually, clothes etc etc all free, and I hadn't even heard of https://www.freecycle.org then!), or you can do it the keeping up with the Jones way and buy every thing new from Next and Mothercare and get into debt.

    No brainer to me
    chev
    I want a job that is less than an hour driving away from my house! Are you listening universe?
  • bluebell13
    bluebell13 Posts: 576 Forumite
    Debt-wise, could you cope if you got pregnant straight away? Would you be horrified? or secretly pleased? Do you want to be a SAHM, or would you intend to work? There are lots of questions.

    You may be better to wait until you are more settled, but, give it a year or so and then re-evaluate as fertility does decline with age.

    Good luck, whatever you choose.
  • maryb
    maryb Posts: 4,660 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    There's never a right time and you can never afford it.

    I had DD 2 on overdraft - it was that or not have a second child as I was in my early 40s having had four miscarriages since DD1. Trouble is if you leave it until you are well into your 30s before starting a family you may well be able to have a first child relatively easily as soon as you start trying but fast forward to when they are two and you are alraedy heading into the less fertile years...

    Even if you wait until you have paid off your loan something could happen to knock your finances for 6 like redundancy and then what do you do - keep waiting? That's what happened to us but we went ahead anyway

    What I would say is once you are out the other side and through the years of expensive childcare (when you can barely keep your head above water)you don't tend to regret taking the plunge but it is certainly stressful having a baby when you have no money. You worry for their sake as well as your own. So be realistic about your finances (before you say to hell with it and go ahead anyway)
    It doesn't matter if you are a glass half full or half empty sort of person. Keep it topped up! Cheers!
  • dubgirl
    dubgirl Posts: 402 Forumite
    First Anniversary
    Hi, i would agree with all the other posts so far, in that there is never a right time for a baby and you will never have enough money in the bank for it. there is so much you can get second hand - I have been to car boot sales and seen baby clothes with the labels still on - never been worn. Besides, if you hopefully have doting families then it is likely that they will contribute or buy some of the stuff you need. We didnt need to buy DS any clothes for the 1st year thanks to grandparents and aunties.
  • immoral_angeluk
    immoral_angeluk Posts: 24,506 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    IF you waited until you could afford it to have kids it would never happen. Babies and children are far more expensive that you can really imagine BUT you always find a way to manage. Both our girls were unplanned and we have never been in what we'd call a well off finanacial situation but we've always managed and wouldn't change them for the world. The joys of having children far outweighs any possible money worries. Children are the most amazing creatures you can ever be priviledged to have. I love my girls to bits and I could not imagine not having them because of me wanting to pay off debt first.
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
  • spud30
    spud30 Posts: 16,872 Forumite
    That's exactly what my mum told me IA when me and my DH first discussed having children.

    If we had waited until we could afford them, we still wouldnt have any children now.
    Is it better to aim for the stars and hit a tree or aim for a tree and land in its branches :think:
    Loves being a Wonderbra friend :kisses3:
  • petetidball
    petetidball Posts: 143 Forumite
    For me and the wife it wasn't an issue of whether or not we had debts, her biological clock started screaming "BABY!BABY!" after we'd been married six months. She was miserable while we were trying (take that as you want to ;) ) but as soon as she got pregnant, she was far happier and more herself. Basically, if you get the same sort of urges as the wife, the debts don't matter and you find a way to cope.

    We were lucky as we were both young and concieved twice with no issues. But we survive (just) on around £200 for everything after mortgage/bills/insurance etc are paid. It can be done, it can be difficult, but it's worth it. I would rather be thousands in debt and have my two wonderful children than thousands in credit but have missed out on having them.
    :confused: Pardonez mois, mais votre cheval est dans mon cochon d'inde. :confused:
    Proud to be dealing with my debts: DFW Nerd 610
  • immoral_angeluk
    immoral_angeluk Posts: 24,506 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    spud30 wrote: »
    That's exactly what my mum told me IA when we first discussed having children.

    If we had waited until we could afford them, we still wouldnt have any children now.

    Exactly. I had my first baby at 19. Working a crappy sales job, living at MIL's house and in debt. We just found a way to manage. 2nd baby born this january, I'm 21, working a crappy nursery nurse job for minimum wage, in a housing association house.

    BUT we're happy. Money can't buy you happiness
    Total 'Failed Business' Debt £29,043
    Que sera, sera. <3
  • spud30
    spud30 Posts: 16,872 Forumite
    Exactly. I had my first baby at 19. Working a crappy sales job, living at MIL's house and in debt. We just found a way to manage. 2nd baby born this january, I'm 21, working a crappy nursery nurse job for minimum wage, in a housing association house.

    BUT we're happy. Money can't buy you happiness

    I had my first child when I was 26, we were married and had our own house (shoebox more like), but had no money then or now.

    My daughter was only 5 months old, when my mum died suddenly at the age of 46 (I had already lost my dad, age 38, when I was 16)

    I am so glad we didnt wait, and my mum got to see my daughter. I gutted she never got to meet my son, but at least she knew one of my children.
    Is it better to aim for the stars and hit a tree or aim for a tree and land in its branches :think:
    Loves being a Wonderbra friend :kisses3:
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