Go Lily Go - Paying off the mortgage

lilyp

NSD:j:j:j

Have been at work all day so get fed and watered there. Came home to find BF and the cat being very mse and following the meal plan with roast chicken for their dinner. I had a little bit too and a small amount for leftovers for bf lunches. The chicken was given to us by MIL who bought a load of them going cheap at morrisons. Hoping she doesn't give us any more because doesn't really fit with our ethics to buy meat from supermarkets.

By some miracle Bf appears to be slowly becoming mse. He is baking bread, helping with the meal plans and has become obsessed with nectar points and their smart phone app. Even completing surveys to earn points. He still tells me I'm a bore but it's much more affectionate now. Maybe one day he will have his own mfw diary :T

andrea_louise

lilyp wrote: »

NSD:j:j:j

. The chicken was given to us by MIL who bought a load of them going cheap at morrisons. Hoping she doesn't give us any more because doesn't really fit with our ethics to buy meat from supermarkets. :T

:j:j:j but if you didn't buy it, it fits in with the ethics! definitely get those utility bills switched! :T

lilyp

andrea_louise wrote: »

:j:j:j but if you didn't buy it, it fits in with the ethics! definitely get those utility bills switched! :T

Let me explain a little about my mother in law. Before she was ill we saw her maybe every 3 months and she always had a little tradition of giving BF a food parcel to take home. It was full of weird stuff. Tinned fish, packets of instant cook rice, a giant bag of dirt cheap inedible pasta. Initially I would put the stuff in the cupboard but I got so sick of throwing it out when past it's sell by date that I started taking it to the food bank in the supermarket. It might sound very un mse but it was always stuff we would never use.

Now BF sees her practically every weekend and she still gives him a food parcel. But if we mention a food item we happen to like she will buy it in multiple quantities. For example at some point it seems to have been mentioned that I occasionally enjoy a tin of rice pudding. And by occasionally I mean perhaps twice a year. I now have 5 years supply and she hasn't stopped yet. I mentioned tortilla wraps once. I have just thrown away the last of the many packs she has given us. Bf noticed her pound shop sold his preferred brand of shampoo. She gave him at least 2 bottles a week for ages.
So if we say yes the tiny chicken who was pumped with chemicals and water and lived a crappy life was nice we will be given one every week. And BF will not tell her to stop because he hates to upset her. And I will make a big deal about the lovely tasting organic one that cost 6 times more from the farm down the road that stretched to a weeks worth of meals and she will just say well you can't pay that much for a chicken.

She is a lovely brave woman and I really do adore her but I hate to see her waste money - especially when we really could use every penny towards stuff we actually need. I hate to see my cupboards cluttered with stuff I try to avoid eating. I hate having to take bags of stuff to the food bank that she has bought thinking she is providing for her son. I wish he would be more honest with her but I understand why he isn't.

lilyp

Back to normal posting

NSD for me but BF bought petrol (£40) and Nicorette (£7). The Nicorette makes me a bit cross because neither of us have smoked for 6 months now and you would think he could cut down on the stuff but I guess it's better than the real thing and he claims it helps deal with stress. It's turning into an expensive week!

Bf also collected the second hand cot we have been given although I have yet to see it up to see if it's ok. It's about 25 years old so not convinced of safety and we need a new mattress.

eBay has gone very badly and I've made about a tenner but it's still a tenner into the pot and some clutter going out the door.

Tomato soup for supper as I had a huge veggie roast lunch at work plus cake .

Watty1

lilyp wrote: »

She is a lovely brave woman and I really do adore her but I hate to see her waste money - especially when we really could use every penny towards stuff we actually need. I hate to see my cupboards cluttered with stuff I try to avoid eating. I hate having to take bags of stuff to the food bank that she has bought thinking she is providing for her son. I wish he would be more honest with her but I understand why he isn't.

Your mil story really touched me. It reminded me of my grandmother who behaved in such a similar way. I hated her wasting the money and yet couldnt bear to upset her. I used to have freezers full of redcurrants she had picked and so on - at least I used them in very small quantities. My grandmother died maybe 10 years or so back. I miss her. If she were still here she probably would still be sending me food parcels. And I'd probably still be struggling with them. It is a hard one. I undesrstand why your partner isn't honest, I couldnt be either. I think it fulfilled a need for my grandmother to do what she did, and, I wish I could offer you a solution .... oh ...wait..as I typed I just remembered an old boyfriend. His mother used to do all his washing and ironing. Even when he moved in with me! He created that by saying he was time poor but cash rich so we could afford food but were struggling with time. Just a thought.

BlueMoo

re MIL: That sounds like a bit of a nightmare situation. The worst thing is is that she is really doing it with the best of intentions! Is there a chance that maybe you could sit down and have a quiet word (I know your BF doesn't want to upset her, but this is madness if it continues) - maybe something like you really appreciate all the help and it is so wonderful that she does this, but you are all set up with your grocery shopping, but something that could be nice is for her to put say £2 a week away for her grandchild to be, and that could help pay for university/clubs/a house deposit? Then she could still feel like she is contributing and at the end there would a little pot of money that could be very useful.


ETA: £2 a week would be just under £2000 by the child is 18 (excluding interest/inflation effects etc)

Not sure if that would work - I know family dynamics can be very difficult.

lilyp

Thanks for your kind words about MIL. I would be in serious trouble if I interfered in any way. Since her diagnosis BF is understandably over protective of her. It's fine. I know one day she won't be around and I will miss having my cupboards full of random stuff. But it feels good to voice my feelings somewhere.

Another NSD for me but BF has been in London for work so has probably had to spend something. Have realised we haven't budgeted for work expenses. Ie his train ticket will probably miss his December pay packet and come back in January. Will have to work something out.

Just back from another anti natal class which we loved. I have a day off tomorrow but no lie in as builder coming to fit doors to our conservatory. At the moment our lounge is a huge open plan space into the cheaply constructed and very leaky roofed conservatory and it's always freezing downstairs. Really hoping this solves a bit of the problem.

gallygirl

Could you drop some hints about stuff you would like but that is cheap? Along the lines of 'I see Aldi's tinned tomatoes have won an award. We love them'.

lilyp

gallygirl wrote: »

Could you drop some hints about stuff you would like but that is cheap? Along the lines of 'I see Aldi's tinned tomatoes have won an award. We love them'.

There is nothing we use in large enough quantities and I have nowhere to store 65 cans of tomatoes.

Honestly we have had so many discussions about how to tackle the problem. BF says it makes her happy and she won't be around in the distant future. Fair enough. I give as much of the food to charity as I can.

If she repeats the chicken I will probably say something. She knows I was vegan before I was pregnant and she thinks I'm only eating meat for the baby. I think I can get away with saying I only want the baby to eat organic meat.

lilyp

The cat and I are hiding upstairs from the builders. They are so scary we have to hide under the duvet apparently.

Just transferred £215 in extra wages ( ie the wages I will lose when on smp) to the evil barclays account. Think that brings it to £420 or thereabout so should finally be able to top up Santander savings to £5k next week :T

Sorting through BFs receipts from last couple of days. Good job we didn't have to spend out on food much as already up to £80.