Child being 'punished' for a choice I made

Lifeisbutadream

poet123 wrote: »

I thought you had stopped his swimming lessons originally because others were getting a subsidy and you disagreed with it? You had a long thread on it I seem to remember, or am I mistaken? I just wondered if there is more to this than there seems?

I did stop it for that then he went back, then he left again!

Idiophreak

Complete non-issue, as far as I can see...even when I was in school 20 years ago, if you played football or rugby on the weekends, you were ineligible for the school team....not that anyone was bothered by that...who wants to do a lame competition for the school, when you risk messing up your performance in a real competition come the weekend.

I also had to choose, around your son's age, which Judo club I would attend, as I was told I couldn't compete for both...I never found this particularly devastating...I've never been the "brightest button" either, but it's quite obvious that you can only compete for people you train with...

MrsAnnie

My two DDs (12 and 14) swim competitively and I can understand why you are frustrated, I have spent years telling my children that you that they need to disregard and advice during school swimming.

Swim lesson technique is very different than competitive swimming technique. And this is probably where the conflict occurs,not that the school coach is necessarily wrong.

At 10 a junior swimmer will not have learnt to perfect stroke technique, so while he is an excellent swimmer there is so much knowledge still to learn. I think , at 10, you son is able to reason this and it lesson will possibly be needed during all his school life.


I would recommend you speak to the coach at swim club and ask them for their opinion, they will be familiar with these situations. It would be a shame for your son to miss out representing the school.

Oh and £2 per lesson is outrageous:eek:

Good luck!!:j

coocoo51

OK - if the the school doesn't want to put their best competitor in let them lose! I dare say your son will have more opportunities with his club to enter more prestigious events. Stay firm to your principles

midnightraven3

the school's swimming class, like all classes must have children of differing levels of competency

they (the school) cant have it both ways

on the one hand they are saying you need to do it "our" way
on the other, your lessons have served you well and we want to reap the rewards for our school

no wonder OPs son is confused
if it were me, i would have to stick to my guns, and explain he will go further with his lessons outwith school

seems a shame the school have created this situation though

bestpud

Are you thinking he could just turn up on the day of the gala, swim his race, collect the praise and go home?

He would surely need to complete some training and practice sessions in school first, even if he didn't go back to weekly lessons?

I imagine they called you as they are well aware you will want him to compete and will kick up a stink if he can't.

You have no idea what your son thinks as he doesn't get a say. He may not care at all but if he does then you'll need to be straight with him.

He's 9 and more than able to form his own opinion - all this deciding on his behalf makes this seem more about you.

It's not practical or fair on the team to have a swimming 'super star' turn up on gala day because he's too good to train with them. Even worse if he goes on to steal the show.

Can you see how that would seem to the other children? It could demoralise them to the point they don't swim as well as they could and the school does less well overall than it might have otherwise.

I did get your point about him having a chance to shine but it seems he is doing that on a weekly basis anyway.

My honest opinion is you're being unreasonable and not looking at the wider picture.

Lifeisbutadream

bestpud wrote: »

Are you thinking he could just turn up on the day of the gala, swim his race, collect the praise and go home?

Sorry this made me LOL they dont do any kind of traing through school, they just pick the team to represent them and send them off to compete in a gala, the swimming teacher wouldnt go with them (he only works for the hours of the swimming lessons) they would go with a teacher representative from the school plus a handful of volunteer parents.

He would surely need to complete some training and practice sessions in school first, even if he didn't go back to weekly lessons?

You would think, wouldnt you? if that were the case I wouldnt be in the position I am in now, if they took it seriously then I would too

I imagine they called you as they are well aware you will want him to compete and will kick up a stink if he can't.

So in other words, to wind me up and get a reaction?

You have no idea what your son thinks as he doesn't get a say. He may not care at all but if he does then you'll need to be straight with him.

He did get a say, I kept him involved in what was going on re th eswimming lessons. He has told me before he finds them confusing.

He's 9 and more than able to form his own opinion - all this deciding on his behalf makes this seem more about you.

See above

It's not practical or fair on the team to have a swimming 'super star' turn up on gala day because he's too good to train with them. Even worse if he goes on to steal the show.

Which I would agree with if they ever did any kind of 'training' ive seen what goes on in the lessons and its about as far from 'training' as you could imagine

Can you see how that would seem to the other children? It could demoralise them to the point they don't swim as well as they could and the school does less well overall than it might have otherwise.

I dont know what the children in your childs school are like, but this certainly isnt the case with our school. They all know my son, they know what he is good at, its the same with footy, and netball etc. they want to do well as a school, so want the best team to go.

I did get your point about him having a chance to shine but it seems he is doing that on a weekly basis anyway.

My honest opinion is you're being unreasonable and not looking at the wider picture.

I havent done anything apart from remove my child from a lesson which was not helping him. I havent said anything to the school about what they have told me, as I am still undecided as to what to do. I will either have to accept what they say or put him back into lessons, I dont see how that is being 'unreasonable'?

...................

Lifeisbutadream

duchy wrote: »

It seems it is you who thinks it is a punishment and if you treat it as such then so will your son.

If you explain to your son that he swims at club level which is a different standard and that it wouldn't be fair on the other kids to compete against club swimmers he won't feel excluded (but actually a little superior) and his feelings won't be hurt.

Frankly I wouldn't want a kid of mine swimming for a school (and earning them kudos) with an ethos I didn't agree with anyway.

I had to bring up this point.

In the area where we live and the other schools we would complete against, probably 90% of their kids are club level swimmers ! most school take this very seriously and TBH we seem to miss out BECAUSE we have our own pool and have to manage our own teacher etc., rather than most of the schools in our area having the teachers that run the clubs.

I would say it would be MORE demoralising for our school to compete against a much higher class of swimmers, than LESS.

JimmyTheWig

Lifeisbutadream wrote: »

Do you not think it is strange that they rang me specifically to tell me this though?

It would be interesting to see whether they have rung all the parents who children dont attend school swimming lessons.

I have a meeting with the head later today, I will be asking her that question!

I don't think that this is strange at all. I think they want to come up with a way to get your son back into school swimming lessons so that he can help the school do well at the galas.

How much they want him there will determine what concessions you are able to get from them about what happens in the lessons.

Idiophreak

So it sounds like the whole affair's a bit of a waste of time...it's an event they won't train for, will pick a fairly random and weak squad for and will ultimately lose against the schools full of club swimmers. So what are you so bothered about? Sounds like your son's best off out of it...