Child being 'punished' for a choice I made

Lifeisbutadream

rpc wrote: »

From their perspective, if he isn't on the school team then he can't be on the school team. I can see that and agree with it.

However, they are totally unreasonable in failing to recognise that this is a talented individual who receives better coaching elsewhere and they shouldn't mess with that too much.

I've seen a similar scenario where a school sport starts at a certain age and kids come along who have previously done it elsewhere. Usually they can be put with better kids, but there is no way we would have let someone swan into a race if they hadn't shown committment to the team. That said, they did get different treatment because they were on a different level of ability and weren't expected to get worse in order to fit in with their classmates.

If there was a 'school team' I would fully support it.

There is no 'school team' they just enter galas every now and then against other schools and pick a few kids to send each time - it is usually the same few, but there is no specific 'school team'

FBaby

but what message would that be giving the other parents and children? It's ok not to take part in the lessons (what does he do during that time), but ok to go to the gala and....win the award (if he is so good). Maybe the school considers that it is not about winning but participating, and attending the gala is kind of the reward for they working hard during term.

Lifeisbutadream

FBaby wrote: »

but what message would that be giving the other parents and children? It's ok not to take part in the lessons (what does he do during that time), but ok to go to the gala and....win the award (if he is so good). Maybe the school considers that it is not about winning but participating, and attending the gala is kind of the reward for they working hard during term.

Which goes back to my original statement of this being 'me' that has made this decision and not my child.

The awards are not individual, they are for the school, surely the idea is to 'win', not to 'take part' I thought the Olympics had shown us that sport is about winning, not just 'for fun'

I dont think going to a swimming gala would be much of a reward for a child who didnt enjoy/wasnt good at swimming.

ETA - I am not the only parent who has removed their child from swimming - the main reason is that people couldnt afford it. Would you say the same about a parent not being able to afford the lessons? would their child deserve to not take part also?

Lifeisbutadream

bestpud wrote: »

I would ask my child what they wanted to do about it.

I'd point out the pros and cons and let him decide whether it's worth it or not.

As he gets older, he will be more able to ignore what the school say, so he may well find it easier now anyway.

He hated the school swimming lessons, he just got confused, although I agree that it might be easier for him now, I wont know unless I try and might end up having to remove him again, which would be even more confusing !


I would love this to be a choice for him, but I spend £100's if not £1000's per year on swimming, I dont particularly want to counter-act that!

FBaby

I would have thought that the school would have helped any parents who really wanted their child to do swimming lessons (and clearly couldn't afford private ones), and could show evidence that they couldn't afford £2 a week.

podperson

Just a thought OP but the school might have guidelines/protocols they have to follow in terms of health and safety, insurance etc. in terms of allowing children to compete in the galas and 'represent' the school. So although they may be well aware that your son can swim, and swim well, if they haven't ticked off that he can do, this and this on a list during the swimming lessons then he may not be covered as far as their rules and regulations are concerned?

rpc

Lifeisbutadream wrote: »

If there was a 'school team' I would fully support it.

There is no 'school team' they just enter galas every now and then against other schools and pick a few kids to send each time - it is usually the same few, but there is no specific 'school team'

So how do they pick? If it based on school swimming lessons then there is, in effect, a school team.

Lifeisbutadream wrote: »

The awards are not individual, they are for the school, surely the idea is to 'win', not to 'take part' I thought the Olympics had shown us that sport is about winning, not just 'for fun'

And it also taught us that you have to play within the rules of your team selectors and that there are more beaurocrats than compeitors!

Having someone fly in for competitions can be incredibly disruptive and demoralising to everyone else.

What the school need to do is look at their swimming lessons and why they don't work for this talented child. If the school won't do this, try the governers, PTA, LEA and any other acronyms you can find. Sport has to include teaching kids about winning and losing and you don't do that by teaching inferior technique or telling people to race slower!

Lifeisbutadream

FBaby wrote: »

I would have thought that the school would have helped any parents who really wanted their child to do swimming lessons (and clearly couldn't afford private ones), and could show evidence that they couldn't afford £2 a week.

They do help the ones on benefits (they get them free) they dont help the ones who cant afford it (or cant justify the expense)

Lifeisbutadream

podperson wrote: »

Just a thought OP but the school might have guidelines/protocols they have to follow in terms of health and safety, insurance etc. in terms of allowing children to compete in the galas and 'represent' the school. So although they may be well aware that your son can swim, and swim well, if they haven't ticked off that he can do, this and this on a list during the swimming lessons then he may not be covered as far as their rules and regulations are concerned?

He has swum at school since he was 5, they know he can swim and he has more than ticked off all their boxes.

Lifeisbutadream

rpc wrote: »

So how do they pick? If it based on school swimming lessons then there is, in effect, a school team.

Its a small enough school for them to know my son as an individual and know how well he swims.

And it also taught us that you have to play within the rules of your team selectors and that there are more beaurocrats than compeitors!

Having someone fly in for competitions can be incredibly disruptive and demoralising to everyone else.

His class is divided into 2 for swimming lessons, there would be no reason for other children to know that my son doesnt swim at school, he doesnt make a big deal of it, others dont swim either.

What the school need to do is look at their swimming lessons and why they don't work for this talented child. If the school won't do this, try the governers, PTA, LEA and any other acronyms you can find. Sport has to include teaching kids about winning and losing and you don't do that by teaching inferior technique or telling people to race slower!

I totally agree, I tried for months to try and sort it out, but in the end home commitments made me give up, I was fighting a losing battle

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