Domestic

Sambucus_Nigra

Call and ask where she is?

UserName01_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Call and ask where she is?

I am honestly fed up of doing all the chasing. She will call me in two weeks, probably Christmas Day!

Other officers agreed that she should have called me when he was arrested and when he was charged and informed me of his bail conditions. She never phoned once until two weeks gone Saturday (four weeks after he was arrested) and I have tried many times to get the case updated. She never returns my calls for weeks and doesn't phone back when promised. I appreciate they have more important things to be dealing with but how long does a phone call take? especially when I am promised a call back and a home visit.

Sambucus_Nigra

Call and ask for the complaints procedure?

UserName01_2

Just a little update for those that have been following and took the time to reply.

Today it should have all been over and done with but the case has been adjourned. The officer has kept in touch the past few days and said the case is likely to be adjourned as she is waiting for a statement from the eye infirmary. What I don't understand is why she has left it until yesterday to ask the doctor for a statement, knowing it wouldn't be done in time for the case today. I am a little disappointed that I have to wait longer for it all to be over, I was hoping to get it all out the way and put it behind me so I can move on from it.

I have had a constant three months of it playing on my mind and yesteday I had a run in with him when I was coming out of the eye infirmary, he drove past and seen me and waved me over. It is the first time I have seen him since it happened so I was scared he would follow me again - I had to keep a look out in my rear view mirror until I got home.

The officer also told me that it is my word against his so I am a bit worried he will walk free and do something like this again to me or someone else. Surely if there was not enough evidence to prosecute the police wouldn't charge and the court wouldn't let the case go ahead.

amyloofoo

UserName01 wrote: »

Just a little update for those that have been following and took the time to reply.

Today it should have all been over and done with but the case has been adjourned. The officer has kept in touch the past few days and said the case is likely to be adjourned as she is waiting for a statement from the eye infirmary. What I don't understand is why she has left it until yesterday to ask the doctor for a statement, knowing it wouldn't be done in time for the case today. I am a little disappointed that I have to wait longer for it all to be over, I was hoping to get it all out the way and put it behind me so I can move on from it.

I have had a constant three months of it playing on my mind and yesteday I had a run in with him when I was coming out of the eye infirmary, he drove past and seen me and waved me over. It is the first time I have seen him since it happened so I was scared he would follow me again - I had to keep a look out in my rear view mirror until I got home.

The officer also told me that it is my word against his so I am a bit worried he will walk free and do something like this again to me or someone else. Surely if there was not enough evidence to prosecute the police wouldn't charge and the court wouldn't let the case go ahead.

You are doing all you can do, so don't torture yourself with the 'what ifs'. Do you have someone you can talk to in RL, and who might be able to support you with the disappointment of the adjournment? Even if you just do something else to keep your mind off things, having someone else there may help you to feel safe.

I know it's disappointing for things to be delayed, but it's better than the case going ahead without the correct evidence. I can see why you'd be annoyed with the officer though - there are clear policies for complaining about the police and maybe this is something you should consider?

:grouphug:

UserName01_2

amyloofoo wrote: »

Do you have someone you can talk to in RL, and who might be able to support you with the disappointment of the adjournment? Even if you just do something else to keep your mind off things, having someone else there may help you to feel safe.

Even when I am busy, it is still constantly playing on my mind. I am really worried about going to court to give evidence. The witness service is saying there is nothing to worry about but I know they are just trying to help me not worry. And the police have been honest with me and said it is not a pleasant exerience. I just wish it was all over with today as I have waited almost 3 months then a day before the case I get told it is adjourned until a later date. The police have had more than enough time to get a statement from the eye infirmary so I would love to know the reason for waiting until the last day (yesterday) to ask the doctor for a statement. She knew last week that she was probably pushing for time to get a statement from the doctor, yet waits until yesterday to hand the statement form in at the eye infirmary. Now we have to wait until the doctor is free to write a statement then fax it to the police or court.

fluffnutter

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

How far away do you live from him?

Could you possibly change cars and get a hat for when you are driving about? Just to try and keep a low profile for the time being? And look into moving somewhere else a little further away?

I don't really get this. Why is it the victim's responsibility to hide away, to change her behaviour or whole life, to 'keep a low profile' whilst an abuser has no such conditions placed on his actions?

It's the same argument, much derided, that if women don't want to be raped they shouldn't go out at night. How about w@nkers stop behaving like w@nkers and leave their victims free to enjoy life without caveat?

Sambucus_Nigra

fluffnutter wrote: »

I don't really get this. Why is it the victim's responsibility to hide away, to change her behaviour or whole life, to 'keep a low profile' whilst an abuser has no such conditions placed on his actions?

It's the same argument, much derided, that if women don't want to be raped they shouldn't go out at night. How about w@nkers stop behaving like w@nkers and leave their victims free to enjoy life without caveat?

Yeah how about it. If you have the magic answer to that one please share!

sassyblue

UserName01 wrote: »

The officer also told me that it is my word against his so I am a bit worried he will walk free and do something like this again to me or someone else. Surely if there was not enough evidence to prosecute the police wouldn't charge and the court wouldn't let the case go ahead.

True of all cases, but whatever happened YOU are the one walking around with an injury, that doesn't look good for a start. I'm not sure you would inflict a nasty eye injury on yourself just to get him into trouble either.

The police are snowed under with work OP, l can understand them waiting until the last minute to get that statement.... happens to us all, you think you have time then before you know it you don't. Annoying but nobody's perfect.

DUTR

UserName01 wrote: »

Just a little update for those that have been following and took the time to reply.

Today it should have all been over and done with but the case has been adjourned. The officer has kept in touch the past few days and said the case is likely to be adjourned as she is waiting for a statement from the eye infirmary. What I don't understand is why she has left it until yesterday to ask the doctor for a statement, knowing it wouldn't be done in time for the case today. I am a little disappointed that I have to wait longer for it all to be over, I was hoping to get it all out the way and put it behind me so I can move on from it.

I have had a constant three months of it playing on my mind and yesteday I had a run in with him when I was coming out of the eye infirmary, he drove past and seen me and waved me over. It is the first time I have seen him since it happened so I was scared he would follow me again - I had to keep a look out in my rear view mirror until I got home.

The officer also told me that it is my word against his so I am a bit worried he will walk free and do something like this again to me or someone else. Surely if there was not enough evidence to prosecute the police wouldn't charge and the court wouldn't let the case go ahead.

I read the 1st post after noticing this one.
Now I'm not dismissing anything you have wrote or your own specific episode but let me give you the outline of a case of a female I met recently, She said she was moving out of her house because the ex to be hubby tried to murder her :eek: , we were chatting that evening about domestic abuse, anyways not doubting her as the case was going to crown court. After the case the hubby was found guilty of ABH but recieved a suspended sentence , I found the news clip on the web, and it transpired that she had 'started' it by attacking him 1st (now I know that may not be the case in your scenario, just pointing out that there is a high chance that he may not get locked up after all of this