Domestic

princeofpounds

so he would see how he has affected me (which being an abusive person, he will love).

Hi there, just a newcomer to the thread, but I had a quick observation regarding this comment.

In my experience the abusers in abusive relationships don't tend to get satisfaction from the damage they cause itself. The satisfaction comes from the control and attention aspect and the mental/physical violence is really just a means to maintain that rather than an end in itself.

If he does see you on the stand, he is unlikely to be thinking positive thoughts about your condition. Deep down, he is likely to be upset that you are no longer in his control, that the whole thing is over. So in that respect it might make sense to view the whole court experience as a chance to assert your independence rather than a personal trial (in the general sense, not the legal one!), whatever the outcome is.

I'm no expert, so just a thought. Wish you luck.

Yorkie1

In the absence of evidence of permanent injury, the charge was appropriately common assault. The police have to apply certain guidance about what level of charge to bring, and on the facts as you outlined them in your previous post it wasn't an inappropriate charge. Edit: the guidance was changed in the last 6 months so that more offences should be charged as common assault rather than ABH, so don't read too much into older cases.

Now that the evidence is indeed there about the permanent injury (which I'm very sorry to hear about, btw), they can revisit the charge question with the prosecution.

I previously said that you couldn't be told what he said in interview. I should have been more precise, in that the police mustn't coach you about how to respond to the defence version - but as he said nothing, there is no 'version' to respond to.

I think you are doing superbly; keep in touch with the police and your doctors, and ensure that any further information is provided to the police if and when it arises.

Don't start having a go at yourself for not reporting him sooner. On average, a victim of domestic violence doesn't report to the police until about the 35th incident. So you are not alone. All you did was to trust that he would change his ways and behave in a decent / legal way towards you. He failed to do so and you're standing up for yourself now, which takes an awful lot of courage.

Domestic violence can sap all of your courage, individuality, confidence, assertiveness, self-belief and independence. It takes time and support to start finding these qualities again. We are here for you, and the police / victim support / women's aid / witness care unit will help you with it too.

UserName01_2

It has been exactly two weeks since the officer dealing with the case phoned me. I was promised a call back a week gone Wednesday to arrange a visit at my home that week so she could apply for special measures.

I have not heard back from her and I am honestly getting fed up of doing all the chasing. No one else can deal with the case or even update little details regarding my eye injury. I get promised a call back which doesn't happen. Is it possible to ask to get this case passed over to someone else? The first officer who came out was so helpful and really wish she could be dealing with it as I know she would keep me updated and get back to me when promised. She is based at another station although only 3 miles apart (same town). It was only passed over to another officer as it had to be dealt with by the station closest to where the incident happened.

I am constantly having bad dreams about the court case. I really don't know if it would be best to stand up to him in court without any special measures and 'try' to be strong (that way he may change his plea and show remorse) or apply for special measures to go via video link. Yes, I am scared to face him but what I am scared of most is speaking out about what happened as I have zero confidence through him and I know I will break down.

Yorkie1

I would go to the police station and ask to speak to a duty officer.

Ask why nobody has been in touch as promised, both to discuss special measures and also because further evidence has come to light which affects the level of charge.

Explain that the trial is only weeks away and that the information can't be left until the last minute because it could jeopardise the trial - if the medical evidence doesn't match up with your evidence [I don't think it really will make a very big difference, so don't start worrying about this, but it's a point to be made to the police].

Also ask what the usual procedure is for the police to get information to support special measures applications. Ask why it wasn't covered when your statement was first obtained, and why nobody has got in touch yet. Tell them that you are getting so anxious about it now, that you fear being unable to give evidence at all - let alone your "best evidence" (this is a technical phrase).

Do you think you could do that?

As for special measures, these can be applied for at a late stage in the proceedings, so don't worry about that too much for now.

I can't remember now whether the DV unit had been in touch with you, but if they haven't then this is also something to raise - you are a vulnerable type of witness (this is again technical rather than personal comment) and you are receiving minimal support to bring these offences to justice.

Edit: as for speaking out, you may find that the hardest part is turning up at court. Once you are there, others will be there to support you.

UserName01_2

I really haven't got the courage and confidence to walk in to the police station and complain about the lack of contact and support. The whole thing is frightening me that much that I almost broke down just visiting the courts, its so daunting as I have never been to court before and the fact that the defendant is an ex partner makes it so much harder.

I just feel so alone with no one to turn to for help. Victim Support have contacted me weekly just to ask how I am and let me know that they are dealing with the criminal injury claim. To be honest I didn't feel they were any help with support as the lady I seen couldn't answer any of my questions regarding court as she doesn't know the procedures, she was just there for emotional support but that's not what I need - I don't like to speak out about everything he's said and done to me as the more I talk about it the more it plays on my mind and keeps me down. She passed me over to the witness service at the court and I had a look around, again I wasn't told
about special measures until I got a call back from the manager of witness service - she was supposed to call me last week to apply for special measures but still no call from her or the officer. The officer did say that special measures need to be applied for ASAP which is why she was going to come out to my house a week gone Wednesday.

The weeks are flying by. It is getting closer to the trial and I feel no further forward. I still don't know if the officer has been in touch with the eye infirmary and if she has changed the charge because I am not getting updated or called back when promised. When I call the station myself i get told no one else can update the case only the officer dealing with it and she is so hard to get hold of. She will be on night shift this week so there's another week that will pass without an update.

I've been worrying about the kind of questions his solicitor will ask me. I have a feeling he will likely grill me and try to give reasons for my exs actions so of course that is worrying me. I know my ex doesn't accept blame and it is always everyone's fault but his. Nothing can condone what he done but for him to plead guilty he will try make it look like I asked for it (I know him well). I know I have to turn up at court otherwise it will be thrown out but I feel I am not getting the help I'm asking for so it is making me not want to stand up to him.

Alibat

I don't know if this will help you but a while back, without going into too many details, a man was in court who had made mine and my family's lives miserable (via long term intimidation and damage to property) for attacking another person.

It was all really stressful (understatement) but seeing him stood there in the dock and for once not being the person in control of the situation was a huge turning point for me. Seeing him having to acknowledge what he had done, seeing him humiliated, and him knowing that I was sitting there watching released the hold he had over me. It took away his power.

The Police could have made a much better job of things, and the man's solicitor did twist everything (not that it made much difference as the facts spoke for themselves) but ultimately none of that mattered. He lost face. He lost his power over me, and although he is still around and still tries to intimidate me he's nothing to me now.

My fingers are tightly crossed that the same happens for you.

Alibat

Another thought.

Before the court case I didn't talk much about what was going on. It was too long winded to try to get across to people just how awful things were and I could not have coped with them not believing me, or brushing it off as me over-reacting. He is very good at coming across as a really nice guy when he wants to.

But since the case it's been totally different. Being able to say he has a conviction for xyz takes everything to a whole other level, whether it's with people I know socially or when looking for help with his latest attempt to intimidate me. It changed everything.

UserName01_2

Alibat wrote: »

The Police could have made a much better job of things, and the man's solicitor did twist everything (not that it made much difference as the facts spoke for themselves) but ultimately none of that mattered. He lost face. He lost his power over me, and although he is still around and still tries to intimidate me he's nothing to me now.

My fingers are tightly crossed that the same happens for you.

This is what I am worried about. I know my ex well and I know he will try and put the blame on me. If he changes his plea to guilty, he will say I provoked him to the assault or that it was me following him. I know nothing what he says can condone what he done as he was in the wrong not me but it's worring me what kind of things his solicitor will say/ask.

Alibat

I totally understand that, and I won't deny it was shocking to hear in court, but don't forget that as his defence are painting him whiter than white the prosecution will be painting him blacker than black. For the case I was involved with it balanced out and the facts spoke for themselves.

UserName01_2

A little update but nothing positive unfortunately.

I haven't actually seen the officer dealing with the case but as many of you know I have contacted the Police and left messages so she can return my calls and update the case regarding my eye injury.

The incident happened 6 weeks gone yesterday. The first time the officer phoned me was two weeks gone saturday. I was promised a call back the following Wednesday and she would visit my house that day so I could sign the form to apply for special measures. She was also going to phone the eye infirmary to get updates regarding my injury and look at a higher charge.

She eventually called back yesterday tea time (12 days late!) and asked if I still wanted to go ahead with special measures. I said yes and asked why she had not phoned me back two weeks ago. She said 'oh has no one been in touch?'. She is the only officer dealing with this case and is the only one who can update me and the case details so not sure why she sounded so surprised that no one had phoned me on her behalf. When she called me yesterday, she asked if I would be home all night as she would come out to my house so I could sign the form. Over 24 hours later and I am still waiting. Not even a phone call. To say I am disappointed in the way the whole case has been dealt with is an understatement. I really don't know what to do for the best.

I would go over to the Police station and speak to the officer or someone else but why should I go out my way when she is not returning my calls or coming to my house when promised. I really want this case passed over to the original officer but I know that won't happen as she is at a different station although the same force in the same town.