'supporting each other through really tough times'

Molly41

Hope this will make some tough nuts laugh...

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) - By Pam Ayres of course..

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey

Cheapskate

Oh molly41, that is SUPERB - I almost choked on my toast crumbs! :rotfl::rotfl: You have started my day off so well!

A xo

VJsmum

:rotfl:

Love Pam Ayres

Morning all - long day yesterday visiting dad. Thanks for keeping me company on my journey. I had one of those days where the train connections worked exceedingly well - the longest I had to wait for anything was 10 minutes and, with 3 connections each way and over 8 hours of travelling, that is no mean feat :T

Thought I'd pop into my small Mr M on my way home from the station. It was 7.25 and they close at 8, so I thought there might be some bargains to be had. No such luck, they had ready cooked chickens but they were still half price - i reckoned they might be a quid by that point - and some of the meat was still only 10 or 15 pence off (though I didn't check dates, it might be today's date). It's probably just as well that I therefore didn't get anything as my freezers are jam packed full. The day before I'd picked up about 5lb bananas for 9p and had made several banana breads and 3 dozen muffins. Carted some down to dad - my brother was happy as he said that he still remembers my banana bread from 30 years ago when I still lived at home! And it's the same recipe I use today - never found one to beat it. Good old Blue Peter, if anyone's interested I'll post recipe. Honestly I've never found a better and it always gets rave reviews.

Today is a day of shopping, cleaning, maybe a bit of gardening. I am going to take DD out to lunch - she has spent a lot of this holiday alone. By choice on the whole but she freaked out yesterday about school work and exams and so forth. It's probably a good thing as she's so laid back she is horizontal, but a few hours out with mum will help.

We have to buy OH some birthday stuff - the man who doesn't really want or need anything. I have bought him a wood burning barbecue come chimenea come pizza oven like this

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LA-HACIENDA-STEEL-PIZZA-OVEN-CHIMENEA-CHIMINEA-PATIO-HEATER-BBQ-GRILL-/370786252616?pt=UK_Garden_Firepits_Chimeneas&hash=item5654953748

but even he might realise it is really a pressie for me

So have a good day all - it's warming up

Edit - Does anyone know if I can make jambalaya with left over rice? I cooled it quickly, spread out on a baking sheet and froze it instantly so it should be alright. I also have a pot of pillau i bought YS the other day too that I might use.

silvasava

VJ Not sure about Jambalaya - I expect someone here will be able to help but would you post your Banana Bread recipe please?
I hate overripe bananas & used to take them into work for a colleague who loved them but now I'm at home I just hate to waste them too!

missrlr

Morning, well that has got rid of a large part of the Easter chocolate stash! Do confess to feeling a bit sick at one point and needing a whole heap of water!

Thanks for all the support, suffice to say I had put a plan into action which would have solved a few issues for me, us, the home, finances and could have been a real positive step forward.

Safe to say did not work and worse still I have no idea why, asked for feedback and so on, nothing just a flat no. The plan was quite complex to balance with current life and execute so I just feel a complete failure. I can't get this right and it meant so much to me. Shouldn't really have pinned my hopes on it but you know when you feel the stars have aligned?

Oh well we are STILL awaiting DH Big R payout .... So currently feeling very stuck and totally useless I can't shift anything to make any changes as I dependent on the foibles of others.

So I am trapped where I am and it doesn't feel like a happy place and given I am trying to make changes is not somewhere I want to be .....

So the order of play today is (as many of us seem to on here) clean, tidy, in fact I think I will empty my kitchen cupboards and scrub those out. I would love to begin the gardening, but as it is raining that seems to be off the agenda.

Hopefully I can keep busy and stop the brain from dwelling on matters fiscal, matters work, matters canine, matters me.

Have a good weekend all, hope the weather is kind to you

Ps re the wedding, meh didn't you have a really important trip to filing your nails that exact day? Seriously stick to your guns!

Pps ha ha about the 50 shades thanks for the giggle

mardatha

Miss - sometimes in life we are in between stages. We feel stuck and trapped but in reality things are going on behind the scenes, we are just not aware of them. Everything happens for a reason, everything is part of a plan - that's what I think. Life is a giant jigsaw puzzle When Fate puts a few more pieces in place then you can see where you are. But when you're stuck there with 5 million pieces of sky and none of them bloody fit - then you get seriously :mad: ...

[Deleted User]

In my experience you can always look back and find the reason for why things happen, no matter how difficult life gets whilst they are happening. I find that the more I try to unravel life the more complicated it becomes, on the day I decide to walk away from the problem and let it sort itself out that is usually when it starts to do just that. I hope you feel a bit more level today MISSRLR and that life sorts itself out for you very quickly, hugs Lyn xxx.

nuttyp

Its true everything happens for a reason, and I am sure I have been dealt the crappiest cards so far. I've suffered through lots, repossession - near homelessness, OH having an affair leaving moving in with said person and then ending after 3 days. Worse still shes now married to his brother - family occasions are so fun!!! lol. Eldest DD has had lots of health problems. ANd finally bankruptcy. Now we seam to be getting on ok, but we will see. Im always looking for the next event/problem to hit us. This funeral will be the next trying affair, OH family don't exactly speak to me. SO 1vodka, 2 vodka and im ok....... or at least I cant remember if anything happens or my gob goes into overdrive lol.

See behind every house there a problems, some minor some major. Just remember to take good care of yourself and then breathe....... take care everyone x

VJsmum

What was it they said in the Marigold Hotel film? It will all be alright in the end - and if it isn't alright, it isn't the end.

BANANA BREAD (courtesy of Blue Peter, about a million years ago LOL)

6oz SR flour
1/4 tsp bicarbonate of soda (or baking powder will do)
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 oz butter
6 oz brown sugar (or caster or granulated)
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla essence
6oz walnuts / sultanas or raisins (I have never used walnuts)
1lb bananas

Put soft butter, sugar and egg in a bowl and mix to a creamy or runny texture. Add vanilla essence and bananas (mashed) - I tend to do this in the food processor - butter and sugar, then add egg while its running. Then just break up banana and feed it in while its running.
SIft bicarb, flour and salt and fold in to mixture.
Add raisins etc to mixture

Put into greased and lined 2lb loaf tin
Gas 4 - 1 hour (don't know electric equiavalent, and I have an electric oven. I do it around 150 degrees, cover top halfway through.)

It is a very forgiving recipe and almost impossible to get wrong
You'll not taste a better, moister (is that a word?) banana loaf.

silvasava

Thank you very much VJ This has now been copied to my folder & named VJsMums Banana Bread I do love a recipe that has been used for a long time - proof of the pudding as they say! Shall have to wait until later in the week as the Bananas I bought are still green unless I can get some whoopsied ones