'supporting each other through really tough times'

Popperwell

SQ, I had been thinking of getting a small bunch of flowers or a house plant and may still do so. I had got into the habit of buying flowers weekly when Mum was alive but that might be too much these days but special Days like Mothering Sunday/her Birthday perhaps its an idea.

I have to face the anniversary on April 22nd and at last have to decide/accept what to do with Mum's ashes. Can't put it off any longer. That may be difficult.

I had a thoughtful tweet from Nigella Lawson sent to me which was kind. And a vicar who is often on radio offered to say a prayer for Mum today another kind gesture.

Thanks for your kind wishes...

I am doing what I do most Sundays...resting and listening to the music we used to enjoy on the radio together. I feel wistful but thankfully get comfort from it and don't get upset.

I may see if I can get into church as you suggest even if the day has passed.

[Deleted User]

POPS it's such a difficult thing to have to deal with but if you want something to consider, my Dads ashes were scattered here in the New Forest in the glade he used to site his caravan in when he and my stepmum went on holiday. They spent most of most summers there and he loved the place so very much she made sure he went there for always, so he could be with his beloved woodpeckers, and in 'His' bit of woodland. It makes me smile when I think of him being there, as I know he loved, and loves it. Is there somewhere that made your Mum happy, that she felt a link to and liked being in that you might be able to give to her for always too? Then whenever you think of the place you'll picture Mum smiling and happy, that might help you a little i think? Cheers Lyn xxx.

kidcat

Thank you SQ

7ww well done on getting your refund, its incredibly poor service and they know it, I would still recommend a letter if complaint saying how upset you were etc, you may well get a voucher from them

Popperwell

It's difficult knowing where to scatter...so for now I have never done so in the past(I am thinking of bringing Mum home inititally. She loved her garden but as this house is rented that may not be allowed and if I ever move I may feel strange.

She loved Bournemouth where we spent many holidays, could I/should make the effort? Again how acceptable would it be to scatter and then locally there is a public park.

It needs looking into...

I still need to think about possibly having an inscription in a book of remembrance but the local church(easier to get to)will do it for £50(The crematorium charges something like £350:eek:)Mum's worth it but that is silly money and though their gardens are nice they are difficult to get to.

How strange I have a lot of washing up to catch up on and at this time I find myself using a mug I bought Mum for her last Mothers Day. It has just happened that way...

nuttyp

7WW well done with the refund. Hopefully the flowers will turn up tomorrow and your mum can enjoy them.

My mum didnt get her cards from my girls, she has gone to my brothers for the afternoon/evening to spend some time with the littlies. Its funny really, 3 years ago my brother never had the time of day for either of my parents. I always did the runnng around for them. When dad was diagnosed with cancer, my oh took my dad as i was too upset to the hospital. I brought him home as my brother was busy. Now dad has died, he has 'mannd up' as my OH says. Sad really that it took something like that. But at least my dad knows i have always cared and given up my time for them.

tomorrow i am getting the wheels changed over on my car, as i cant afford a new rim. It is going on the back so the steering doesnt vibrate.

Mr selfridge is on, so off i go. take care x

Possession

Kidcat I wonder if my DD has the same thing, have had 2 awful days and nights, with high temps, sore throat and raspy breathing. Was very close to taking her to OOH today but she's such a drama queen that it can be difficult to figure out how poorly she actually is. Unless a miracle cure happens she is seeing a doctor tomorrow though. I looked in her mouth with a torch and she seems to have very swollen red tonsils.
DH has been working all weekend too, for the 2nd weekend in a row, so not a great Mother's Day in this house and I'm so tired I could cry.
DH's counselling does appear to be having an effect though, in that he's realising some things. He's actually now wondering if he has ADHD traits (which would fit), and if so how to get some managing strategies.

I hope all of you whose mums aren't here anymore or who are in difficult relationships haven't had too bad a day.

missrlr

nuttyp wrote: »

tomorrow i am getting the wheels changed over on my car, as i cant afford a new rim. It is going on the back so the steering doesnt vibrate.
x

Usually the geometry of the car will be out after a hard knock changing the wheels over wont make a difference. You would probably better of getting a laser wheel alignment done which I know might be money but if you don't then all tyres will wear oddly on the car. It also makes the car handling odd too.

Get an opinion as could save you money in the long term.

bluebag

pops, there are other things you can do with ashes rather than scatter them. It is a difficult time and I hope that none of what I say offends or upsets you, that would sincerely be the furthest thing from my mind.

There are companies who transform ashes into crystals and make things like wind chimes, this means you can always have your loved ones remains with you, if this would bring you comfort.

Just an alternative for you to maybe think about, a quick internet search will probably find you a few firms who do this and other ideas too.

kidcat

Possession - it may well be the same thing, loads of people seem to have it at the moment.
I am going to go to see the GP tomorrow with him -its his birthday Wednesday and party Friday, he has got to be well to enjoy them.:)

nuttyp - misslr is right after a knock that damaged a rim you will need a re-alignment, and its possible that the tyre itself may have "an egg" as OH calls it. If you cant afford a new rim have you considered asking local scrap yards for second hand rims?

Popperwell

Possession wrote: »

I hope all of you whose mums aren't here anymore or who are in difficult relationships haven't had too bad a day.

Thank you for such thoughtfullness. Its only when you talk to others you realise just how many feel as you do and how much we share.

I hope all those feeling poorly especially those children suffering...I don't care if they are teenagers either...hell, that goes for adults too. If you feel out of it, its awful and even worse if you suffer alone...I remember someone saying and this may sound selfish but I know where he is coming from...he obviously loved his wife and was missing her in so many ways...but he mentioned how lonely and frightened if ill and especially in the early hours.

I'm still trying to shake off head cold...and this is at least 3 weeks and counting, cold has gone but left a cough which changes every week and hopefully means its going away...perhaps it is similar to what is affecting many on here?