'supporting each other through really tough times'

kidcat

Peanut - I assume these are court costs not solicitor costs? If they are you can apply to the court (well here you can) if you cant afford it and they allow payments to be made. If its a solicitor you dont necessarily need one to do the papers.

Kezlou - welcome back, so glad your move went well.

mcculloch29

Back to Discworld... Oh, well, if gender is no issue, I'll deffo be Vimes, no question. Being Carrot would be cool, and wouldn't you just love to spend some time in Havelock Vetenari's head...??? I'd go straight for a career in politics after that one. Machiavelli would have nothing on me.
I think Death is cool, and have a soft spot for the Death of R*ts. I also forgot to mention Susan Sto-Helit, Death's grand-daughter.
Of the animals, I would love a chat with Gaspode the talking dog, and a ride on Binky, you just know he wouldn't let you fall off.

Peanut2013

It is just court costs as he's divorcing me, I chose not to get a solicitor as am just signing papers and didn't see the point. No kids, I was handing everything over to him.

I think it's silly little things that wind me up, like I keep finding things I didn't take. I didn't get to pack, he did it for me so obviously things were missed. For example I realised the other day I never got my scanner. Stupid thing but something I use and can't afford a new one! So silly but know what I mean?

I will admit he didn't screw me over as such but he hasn't exactly helped. He's very good at stirring and boy he wasn't exactly pleasant when he found out I was pregnant (called my unborn child a !!!!!!! as me and OH arnt married, I didn't take we'll to this...)

There are days when I contemplate fighting but then I realise I don't think I want to, I just get scared

Thank you for shoulders and support. As someone else said I need to look at what I have now. A gorgeous son, a loving and kind OH who adores us both, a great family close by and although our house is rented it's somewhere I could definitely not afford to buy!

Thank you all

Popperwell

I kind of get screened every three or four months because of my health problems so they check my bloods, urine, kidneys and liver via bloods...

As a fella I don't know how you feel, its a Woman's thing but men have some things that are a bit scary and need testing. You've kind of got under the wire VJ's Mum(just)but at least they are on the ball...

Discworld, I don't know much about that series of books but a new 4 part series started on Radio 4 last night(still online via I Player)Radio 4 11pm-11.15pm called Eric...

Hardup_Hester

My ex & I split everything 50/50.
I got DS1, DD1, DD2 & DS2. He got the house, the savings, the pension & the business. We each got the four things most important to us.
Hester

missrlr

I once left a frothing raging maniac with the clothes I was wearing, the dog who jumped in the car with me, my handbag which I had somehow had the foresight to put my savings book and cheque book into the day before and the motorbike leathers I had bought that day but not unloaded from the car.

I eventually got back my clothes (in bin liners that had been also filled with water and left outside cue mass washing and chucking out as it was mostly mouldy) a chest of drawers and a sky box plus aerial.

Best thing I ever did

GreyQueen

Softstuff, I fear that so-called tropical cyclone may have something approximately humanoid at its heart. It would be a good time to invest in storm shutters, I reckon.

Know a woman who left a violent and controlling partner one carrier bag at a time. The only place he'd let her go without him was to work (and he'd walk her to and fro). What he didn't know was that she was wily enough to have changed jobs and the workplace he was delivering her to and collecting her from was her former one.

In cahoots with a former colleague, she went out the house every day with about half a carrier bag of her stuff. He didn't query what was in it and didn't notice it didn't come home. When she had enough of her belongings to start over, she just wasn't there one day when he went to collect her.

I also know women who have flitted in the space of a couple of hours in a taxi whilst the feller was out. And have guarded a friend in her home who was jumping out of her skin every time we heard a car engine in case it was Him. With the firm promise that he'd have to get past me to get to her and a rolling pin in my hands. Horrible. And all these people are and were strong, intelligent and independant women.

Right, just got one more work day to manage and then two whole weekend days to relish. My lottie calls.............

silvasava

Its International Womens Day today & their focus this year is on violence towards women.
I read the posts on here about how many of us have suffered from abusive, controlling & violent men & wonder where were their mothers & what were they teaching them? I also feel such great hope when I see how many of you are so brave & determined to break this cycle & bring up your children in loving, caring secure homes.
There are many more good decent men but they slip under the radar so to speak & some of us have been lucky enough to find one. As my granny used to say - To find your Prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs!
Love & Huge hugs to all you 'Toughies'

Pooky

Kidkat - I think I'd maybe have a word with your IT chap and suggest that he explain to the woman that a couple of freebies for a friend is ok but it is his line of income so he'd be happy to give her a quote (outside of group time) for the work she wants doing. That sends a clear enough message that it's not acceptable. To be honest, if her feelings are hurt then so be it, she's not taking anyone else's into account by expecting free help and advice.

VJsmum

My sister left a violent man with not much more than the clothes she was in and the baby. The man went on to commit a heinous crime before committing suicide, my lovely niece has to live with that knowledge about a man she never knew

My sis is in another relationship with a man who is also quite controlling - though not violent as far as I know. They are currently undergoing counselling before she decides whether she wants to stay or not.

My OH couldn't be more different - he is a very kind man who would never prevent me doing anything and has been enthusiastic about me taking up offers to further my career, or better myself or just cos I wanted to, even though it makes his life much more difficult when I am not here. I hope his example alone gets through to DS and DD about how men should behave. I guess some of that is me too, he knows I wouldn't hesitate to go if his behaviour changed and became intolerable. I always say that I could live without him, I just choose not to - better that way n'est ce pas? Besides he makes me laugh..