'supporting each other through really tough times'

elizabunny

Afternoon everyone. Been out of action for a few days, (((hugs))) to all those who need them. I miscarried my 1st baby at 14 weeks, that was a long time ago but never forgotton.

Finally managed to get my tooth repaired as the anaesthetic worked this time. Can't say I was looking forward to it given my previous experience but all's well now.

It has been a miserable, cold and dreary day here today which does nothing to lift the spirits. Spring cannot come soon enough for me.

Keep well and warm everyone, tomorrow is another day.

katieowl_2

Big Hug Jem - that's all :grouphug:

Kate

ginnyknit

Hugs to all in need especially Jem, talking is a good start hunny. My hubs wont talk about the babies I lost but Dd does and she was once told she has 3 angels at her side by a psychic and she firmly believes they get her through and they are her sisters.

On another note, just had a letter to say we will have to pay for OH's emergency alarm for if he falls when on his own :mad: For £2.68 a week they will answer him, reassure him and ring one of 2 designated numbers. For £4.68 a week they will reassure him and if necessary send a trained response officer. I have decided to just stay with constantly or he has to keep his mobile with him while I run to the shop etc. What next? will they charge me for being on the emergency carers list in case I have to go to hospital/ doctors/funeral? Add that to the bedroom tax and we will be living on bread and bl**dy water :mad: Think they had best take out the alarm and I will sort out with DD and DS for emergencies.

monnagran

Oh dear all of you. I really do feel your pain. I was also naive when I married and because of my ex there were no babies coming along. I know the stress of living month to month and all the heartache and tears along the way. Eventually I also adopted my two boys but I will never stop wishing that I had given birth to them.
Jem: You have been so brave in expressing how you really feel. I thank God for this forum where it is safe to unload our troubles and know that we will be wrapped in the love and understanding of friends.

On a different topic altogether, I was appalled to hear about your friend Katie. Horrified but not, unfortunately, surprised. Since I have been involved with Open Arms I have heard such stories over and over again.
Council officials - well, some of them, seem to take delight in humiliating people in need to make them feel worse than they already do. Benefits are started and stopped for no reason, leaving people who have nothing with less than nothing. HB is stopped and people not told till the baliffs arrive to evict them for nonpayment of rent. At the moment we are having people going to collect their JSA or DLA and finding that the money is not there because they are 'changing systems'. So until the systems are changed presumably those people won't need to eat, pay their rent, use electricity or take a bus to the town to try and sort things out.
At the same time I know for a fact that councillors are paying themselves handsomely and still globe trotting to observe traffic flow systems or some other trumped up excuse.
And the way the people in benefits offices speak to and treat their clients is disgusting. They seem to think that they are all scroungers and potential benefit frauds.

You shouldn't have started me off - I get beside myself with rage when I hear these things.

I think I'll go and simmer down.

x

[Deleted User]

Cuppa time MONNAGRAN, but you are right!!!!! and breathe, and breathe!!!!!!!! Cheers Lyn xxx.

Nargleblast

I think everyone knows someone who knows someone who is milking the benefits system, and it's pond life like that who give everyone else a bad name. I am fortunate enough to be in a reasonably paid job and have never had to rely on benefits, but even I can see how expensive everything is nowadays, even for a basic standard of living. It is no wonder people get trapped into taking out loans from dodgy lenders charging astronomical sums in interest.
And there will always be genuine people who could do with extra help but just don't quite meet the criteria to get it. And also people who just seem to slip through the net, like Katie's friend. You can admit someone to hospital, give them all the treatment, help and support they need, but once discharged they are on their own. There just isn't the support there in the community, and for those who have drug or alcohol issues, it isn't long before they are back amongst the same people they always lived with and taking up the same bad habits.
So many problems, so much sadness.

kidcat

((hugs)) Jem - I had a bad miscarriage ten years ago now, I nearly died and it scared me and OH too, we got married a few months later as I needed to make sure everything was sorted and legal as it were.
We dont talk about it often, but the elder kids do sometimes make a comment, and I know it sounds silly -but I miss her.
I have told the children that God needed a special angel to watch over the stars and make them shine bright and it helped us all.

As for your OH I agree that you should consider going with him for his next appointment but I would also suggest having tests yourself quietly too. I am not in any way suggesting that your OH has done anything wrong - but I do know that in your situation I would be wondering and worrying until I knew one way or another. This way you could put your mind at ease.

Ginny - am not sure what your DH job was or what connections he has with regard to working trusts, but my dad was able to get two alarms done and maintained for some of his older church members, one was through armed forces (SAFA or something similar) and one through a banking charity, one had been in the Air Force and the other was the widow of a guy who had worked in a bank all his life.

It may well be worth you looking into previous employments and trying to find any associated charities etc that can help with the costs. I would say I am appalled that you are expected to pay though.

ginnyknit

Kidcat, thats brilliant. Oh was in the army then the TA for many years so might get him to contact SAFA. They helped me when a good friend died leaving 4 young children ( his younger wife died a year before him). She always said he was in the SAS and after his death SAFA were proud to confirm this and sent his medals and a representative to the funeral. They are wonderful people.

I dont mind paying I just think it will be another thing we will struggle to find the money for and I am 'upto my armpits in alligators' as a dear American friend always said Yes I could cancel the broadband but its my lifeline and keeps us both sane in the long days and nights spent in the house.

kidcat

Ginny the internet will save you more than it costs - it certainly does for me anyway. By the time I add in the whole online billing for things, saving me itemised bill costs, comparison for utilities insurance etc and then cashback and online shopping, I well and truly get much more back than I spend.

If I added in bargain sites, tips from here and the fact that you all keep me sane it more than pays its way.

nuttyp

Thanks fuddle, will try barclays when OH finally has a day off to attend with me. Since we went BR i have had an account with lloyds, but they have refised to ever add OH to account. Its caused quite a few heated rows lately as OH has to ask for money and feels useless. All i want is a basic account but the card will work in a shop and a cash machine but doesnt have any way of getting into debt.

RE alarms, in our area they have charged for ages here. It has been subrun by a private company, all the warden control accomodation is done like this.