'supporting each other through really tough times'

fuddle

I'd be miserable, lonely and uneducated without the internet. When I go out socially, even just for a couple of hours, I am drained. Here I can chat all day and night without having to go through the effort it takes me to get over myself and my insecurities.

Nargleblast

I moan when our computer is slow but then I think that in "days of yore" if you wanted to buy something from another part of the country you would have to write a letter asking for the item. You would then post it and wait a few days for a reply telling you it was in stock and how much it cost. Then you would write back placing an order and enclosing money. A few days later, all being well, your item would arrive in the post. Alternatively you would get in a horse-drawn carriage and take 2 or 3 days to travel to another town, the same town it would take you just a few hours to drive to today.

And online food shopping is convenient. Saves a load of time and hassle, no driving there, finding a parking space, fighting your way round the shop and loading and unloading your stuff at the checkout. Just an hour or two that you need to be at home to accept delivery, during which time you can get on with various jobs.

Internet access is almost a necessity nowadays. I could live without it but it would involve more planning and organisation.

jem132

Hi all well no sign of dh and waiting for police to come or I would be in bed.

2 days in a row ds has been approached by a man in the park while been only a short distance away from me on his bike. I thought it best to report it. You never know x

GreyQueen

Hi Ginny, we used to signpost a lot of people towards SSAFA when I was in the CAB. They're brill. I'd second the Royal British Legion, too. Mum, Nan and Auntie are in that, Nan founded a Women's Section back in the after she lost the baby who would have been my youngest aunt. Strange to have lost an aunt who would have been only 4 years older than me.

Stillbirth, not miscarriage, but Grandad could never talk about it when he was alive, he was that upset. I think a lot of families have these gaps where some of our relatives should be, and it is so painful.

http://www.ssafa.org.uk/

http://www.britishlegion.org.uk/

HTH.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: To everyone who needs a Hug.


Been having a bit of a :wall: sort of day, drip drip of aggravations. Never mind, soon be Year End and then we can have a collective breakdown and resurface sometime in mid-April, whey-faced and shaken.

Monnagran, I know our council's homelessness advisers pretty well, but obviously can't speak for those where you are. Ours are all good people, fluffy, lefty-leaning types, Guardian readers to a man and woman and always ready to do a good turn. It isn't a line of work which attracts hardcases.

But they assume they're being lied to by the homeless 99% of the time. Because this is what homelessness investigation after homelessness investigation reveals. Year in year out, an endless parade of out-and-out deceit. It ends up destroying people's faith in human nature to the point that they quit.

People consistantly lie to council officers and get caught out by homelessness investigations. Sometimes people move around the country because they've behaved so appallingly in one council area that they can't be rehoused there and try it on elsewhere. Councils talk to each other and this doesn't wash.

I've lost count of the number of times that a support worker (or a good church person) has reamed into us on behalf of their client or drop-in user. They can't understand why Mr Bloggs doesn't get this or doesn't get that and won't be allowed back on the housing register etc etc.

If we have third party authority, we can tell them. It's often horrifying and I can assure you that no reasonable person would come down on the side of Mr Bloggs once they'd heard the facts. And you sure as heck wouldn't want him as your neighbour. You can hear them slowly deflate as the truth sinks in and they realise that Mr Bloggs has been more than a bit economical with the truth, to put it mildly.

I've had many such a call end with the supporter down off his or her high horse, stunned into silence by the facts of the matter, then gathering themselves before saying grimly I'd better talk to my client.

Please, unless you've sat in on those interviews and witnessed disrespectful and inappropriate behaviour (in which case complain like hell to the highest levels) don't assume that a council homelessness officer is always in the wrong. Your needy person could well be spinning you a line.

VJsmum

So sorry for people who are suffering - I am another who has had a miscarriage. Albeit an early one but still that blue line dons bonnet and bootees the minute you see it, doesn't it?

i also could cope without telly, but not internet. It accompanies my everyday at home - R4, R4extra, films, some TV, The Archers when and where I choose. When I have been working away from home it has been my lifeline to family, Skype is free - phone calls cost a fortune.

I am miffed because my reasonably pricey trousers have disintegrated into holes at the err "fly" area. it looks like someone has poked a finger in there I only hope the 30 or so students didn't notice when I was standing in front of them this afternoon :eek: They were in a sale but over a year ago now so can't be returned - still v. shoddy though from a brand I like.

I am trying the 5:2 diet and this is a 2 day. it is easier than I thought and it seems to have improved my digestive system no end. I have the "2" days when i am extra busy at work. if I can do it to lose the half stone to kick off my diet I will be happy - I don't have much to lose but like to keep it in check. It will be nice to think I can return to it any time I want if my weight creeps up.

DD has invited a bunch of teenagers over for a sleepover tomorrow night - that's one way to empty the cupboards :rotfl:

Byatt

GQ, an excellent post as usual. I worked in the public sector and I became jaded and disappointed with the lies and the abuse. I feel that anyone who does work in this sector inevitably end up with the attitude of someone who is cynical and just waiting for the next lie. It is soul destroying when you have gone out of your way to help someone and then find out they have been economical with the truth.

Talking of babies, I didn't have the "blue line" but I had a terrible sense of loss when an adoption did not go through. I won't go into details, but I had bonded with the child within moments. I took years to get over the loss and the guilt that I felt of letting him down. I couldn't tell anyone because I thought they wouldn't understand, but felt a real sense of bereavement.

jem, I hope all is well with your OH.

Incidentaly the link I gave for Ginny, is useful because it lists places you may never have known about or thought of.

maryb

So sorry for everyone with that deep grief over long ago miscarriages. I had three miscarriages between DD1 and DD2. In fact I had signed up for an OU course to take my mind off not being able to have a second child when she decided to come along. I know how hard it would have been otherwise to cope with all those unfulfilled longings

monnagran

GreyQueen: I'm sure you are right. We even have good council officers here, but it's the ones who are callous and downright hurtful that linger in the memory. Our council have only just started to admit that there is a homelessness problem on the island. Up until this last year the official line was that there were no homeless people here. We have managed to disabuse them of that and at last they are setting up cold weather centres and taking us a bit more
seriously.
I know all about the mickey-takers! They turn up occasionally and you can spot them a mile off, however plausible they may be. And at the first sign of trouble they are out. They are very self governing though and I've often heard one of our regulars saying,"Don't use that language here, these people are being very good to us."
BUT.....we have one chap, not too young, who was so demoralised by the verbal abuse he received when he went for help that he will not go back there, so he receives nothing. Fortunately we have a young man who works for the council who took up this chap's case and got him into a hostel.
We get the opposite problem of people who arrive and after much persuasion accept a meal, but wild horses won't get them to take any food away with them because they always say,"It doesn't seem right."

And I am getting carried away. Sorry. I'll shut up now.

x

GreyQueen

Thanks, Monnagran. I'd thought on several previous occasions about putting the other side of the story, as a council officer, but shied off from it because I didn't want to get savaged (shaking slightly with nerves now ). It'd just reached a point where I felt I had to speak out.

I'm glad you've got your council to see that there is a problem on the island. We're also in an area which, on the surface of things, looks prosperous and comfortable, but has a lot of hidden hardships, and a lot of sofa-surfers. The homeless are more that those poor souls in the doorways; there's lots more people crashing here and there on friend's floors and you wear out friendships fast like that.:(

We have some people we're not allowed to house because they are such serious child sex offenders that they can't be accomodated within a certain radius of a school. And in a city there is nowhere which meets that criteria. And others who have been ordered out of hostels because of assaulting the staff, assaulting other residents, dealing hard drugs and handling stolen goods.

I used to be a PA in a third sector advice service to rehouse offenders newly out of prison and have come across things which made my blood run cold.

And I've learned from being face-to-face with some blokes convicted of some of the worst crimes that you can imagine that they look perfectly normal. Our advisers go solo into small interview rooms with some very dangerous people with only the panic button and the CCTV on their side.

I wouldn't have the guts to do it.

kate1974

Hello,
Just to let you know that Lidl's doing XXL deals at the moment-1 kg of chicken breasts for 5.99,1 pack(1 kg) of pork medalions for 5.99(or two packs for 10.00),2 kg of apples for 1.67 and some more but don't remember all of them.
HTH