'supporting each other through really tough times'

Byatt

Kate, I do understand how you feel, and I am so sorry. It is a very lonely place to be and I have to say after my misery fest the other day, that I do appreciate that I am lucky to not be in a miserable,(and in my case abusive) marriage, and being on my own is actually very nice.

Please pm if you want to talk.

personally I would not give him a card, a first step to changing things for you, not him.

Hugs.

edit, I feel VD is very over rated, but I decided to buy something for the ones I love, which include me (a flower), my daughter (lunch) and my pets...(treats)...

katieowl_2

kidcat wrote: »

. Is that something you could do - just agree to lat it pass?

That means talking about the elephant in the room....not sure that's an option TBH

Kate

ginnyknit

Katie sending huge hugs, I have been where you are but luckily we sorted things out. It took a shock to sort him out but we did it. Hope you find a way for you both meanwhile enjoy your trip out xx

Mrs LW I had a moment in the dentists the other day. I think its cos I dont go out much, I booked in at the desk then sat down and looked at my coat, there was a chocolate handprint right at the front of my coat near the collar from taking DGS home on Sunday morning :eek: And I hadnt put my usual scarf on so I sat there trying to hide it and feeling definately shabby chic :rotfl: Needless to say coat now washed ready for ironing. OH went out in odd trainers the other day, I laughed my sock off at that one, mind you they were both white although his loving of bright orange laces showed that one was tied and the other was velcro fasteners

Hester I think the greatest triumph in your life was getting away from your Ex, and becoming the person you are now.

Popperwell

My valentine gentures were for Mum whether it was flowers, chocolates or a nice meal. I saw it as a way to say someone was special though saying "I love you" is enough and cuddle, the holding of a hand, a kiss etc...

And now there is no one to hold special on the day though I will think of those I have loved in my life.

Then again the card and gift companies make nothing as such out of me as there are no birthday, Christmas cards, Father's or Mother's Day cards to buy any more. Well, just a few Christmas cards if any neighbours or the few friends of Mum remember...

kidcat

Byatt that is a lovely idea - maybe I will buy the dog and cats a treat instead

Am exhausted today, I went to bed at midnight and was woken by the door bell ringing - it was mother of DD18 friend looking for her daughter who was late home from the cinema - now I appreciate its worrying but she was only 30 minutes late! And it woke OH who was due up for work at 3.30am so he is not a happy bunny.
I have to say I didnt handle it well - I kept her at door and wouldnt bring her in so she stood at door issuing orders to my DD to call her daughter for her. Wouldnt be so bad but DD is not even particularly friendly with this girl any more and they never socialise together ever.

kidcat

katieowl wrote: »

That means talking about the elephant in the room....not sure that's an option TBH

Kate

That is always the difficult one - maybe head in a slightly off direction - am thinking of not doing valentines this year - am going to donate the money to a charity who really need it?

I know its hard OH always looks like I have killed his puppy when I try it - but at some point my feelings have to weigh into the agenda.

I do hope you find peace somehow.

Uniscots97

Popperwell wrote: »

My valentine gentures were for Mum whether it was flowers, chocolates or a nice meal. I saw it as a way to say someone was special though saying "I love you" is enough and cuddle, the holding of a hand, a kiss etc...

And now there is no one to hold special on the day though I will think of those I have loved in my life.

Then again the card and gift companies make nothing as such out of me as there are no birthday, Christmas cards, Father's or Mother's Day cards to buy any more. Well, just a few Christmas cards if any neighbours or the few friends of Mum remember...

Pops, why not cook yourself a nice meal on valentine's day and light a candle for your Mum then raise a glass to her.

Byatt

My ex's line used to be, "you don't want a card do you?" :cool:

and my birthday always took him by surprise even after 20 odd years!

Kidcat, I am in love with my pooch (even though she is with DD now) and totally in love with Polo. I'll post a pic of his new toy when I get it.

Popperwell

Have read back so have seen the problems this Valentine's Day has/is bringing some so hugs to those who have problems.

I don't in some ways like being "Alone" but in other ways it does mean that I don't have such issues to deal with.

So mixed feelings of missing those dear to me and yet lucky not to have problems relationships bring, then again I have/am missing the joy they bring too and in later years hopefully(but not always)companionship.

But as I said somewhere else if I had been married I'd like to think I would take an interest in my partner, do nice unexpected things(even just small gestures)and still take an interest. I think dare I say i would have been a god "Dad" to any children we may have had but it's unlikely to happen.

Won't go on but the dreaded brown envelope dropped on the mat today and for now(though temporary)that has come out ok. So one less problem to worry over.

Popperwell

unixgirluk wrote: »

Pops, why not cook yourself a nice meal on valentine's day and light a candle for your Mum then raise a glass to her.

I like that is a lovely idea Unix.

I did think of still buying some flowers or a single rose. Aldi's on Monday have 12 red roses for £5. More expensive items too...The single rose is £3. There are more expensive bouquets too.

I already have wine in the house(even champagne that was never used)originally for a birthday or special time so could open that. Even with health problems I don't drink a lot of alcohol and was told I could still drink wine when I asked originally.

Was a bit surprised that they were selling the roses three days before and trying to keep them fresh until Thursday.