'supporting each other through really tough times'

shegar

RosiePuddingPaws wrote: »

Katie - I'm another one offering hugs and sympathy. My husband was 8 years older than me and he had given up on VDay, our wedding anniversary and my birthday long before we parted. It got to the stage where I was thinking "if this is all there is then I might as well be dead". Not that I was planning on being dead for many years, you understand!

It was hard to part as I had been brought up believing marriage was for life. Also, as Hester says, being middle aged and starting again is hard at times but I'm happier now than I have been in years. A (big) lottery win would make life a lot easier though!!

When we split my mother was horrified as "she liked him" and said that I would be lonely. No - I may be alone, much as I was in my marriage, but I'm rarely lonely.

RPP

If anything happened to my hubby , id never bother with anyone again, dont need the hassle TBH.........

Im not the type to " need someone" I do everything my self now, im never bored in or outside, or get lonely, quite content.......

Just see on the news that loads of meat hasnt been checked for 10 years so I expect weve been eating horse for years...........:mad:..Sheila

VJsmum

I did suggest to OH that we dont bother with cards as it is feeding the card industry and "we don't really need to send a card to show how we feel". I was met with stony silence - guess I'd better go shopping then! It is usually just a card - though I occasionally get flowers. To be honest, though, the only person who really buys me flowers is .... me!

But then on the other hand, my sister and her OH were always over the top lovey dovey, holding hands, have a quick snog in the kitchen even if guests are there type of thing but now have announced they're separating. So whereas I was feeling a bit miffed that my OH wasn't so demonstrative, I now realise that it was all for show.

If OH wasn't around any more, I wouldn't go looking but I wouldn't dismiss the idea altogether if someone came along. My aunt has been through 3 or 4 husbands (I've lost count ) and they've all died (I don't think it was suspicious :cool:) and has joined a dating agency fairly soon after each one. She is now 87 and the latest husband died recently (I'm not really callous, but I never met him) and she is now worrying about "who is going to look after me?". Given that this one had alzheimers and was violent, I think she might be better off without.

SIL and her kids have cancelled their visit due to the terrible weather forecast so us four are off out with some MrT vouchers to a local Italian restaurant. The food should all be covered by the vouchers, so just drinks to pay for :T THe house is half cleaned and will be finished tomorrow, after several weeks of neglect caused by christmas, me working overseas for a week and then having a pile of marking with a short deadline when I got back. I am starting to see a glimmer of light.

Has anyone seen the u toob video of the pantomime horse in Mr T? Very :rotfl:

Have a good evening all.

elizabunny

We don't do VD cards either. Before we married (38 years ago) DH always bought me one of those massive padded cards, I have them all still, packed neatly in the attic along with all the letters he wrote me. We simply just don't feel the need now. I am not saying that it won't be mentioned or that I won't make something nice for dinner, but that will be about it. It's a mutual decision.

From a different perspective, before my DM passed away she took me completely by surprise one year by giving me a Mothers Day Card on Mothers Day. I was a bit taken aback and couldn't really understand why she had done it. She simply said "Well there isn't a Daughters Day and I wanted to give you a card because you are a Mum as well." The words were quite beautiful. She never did it again because she fell ill shortly after that -but I treasure that card to this day.

Sorry that was a bit off track:o but just something that popped into my mind talking about cards. Personally, I don't think that there is anything wrong with giving cards or not giving cards as the case may be. What I dislike is the over the top commercialism that extends from one occasion to another -from Valentines to Christmas and no I'm not a party pooper:p

(((hugs))) katieowl, only you know how you feel about your situation and I wouldn't want you to think I was being flippant/dismissive.

Popped to the market today and managed to purchase nothing short of a bargain;-
4 large punnets of Cherry Tomatoes= £1
10 Medium Bananas = £1
2 Large punnets of Black grapes = £1.20
14 Bra*burn apples = £1
20 Satsumas = £1
1 kg Brussles = £1

Must have been my day:D

Short update on the 'Roland' He has not been seen today:j

katieowl_2

Met up with DD and we went charity shopping in the next town over! I got a cookery book for £2 that's a tenner second hand on Amazon. Picked up a few clothes bits too, very cheap and nice. DD didn't find anything, but we bumped into a couple from our area and had good chats with them, they are customers in the market, and we filled them in on what had been going on. They were suitably appalled about how DD has been treated and took her phone number and said they will ask around for work for her.

Thanks for all your kind words earlier. It really means a lot to me. I just had to vent somewhere, and I can't do it to anyone close to me. Mum knows I'm not happy, but it's not a conversation topic IYSWIM. There is always someone 'here' when I'm on the phone, DS usually, so I don't even feel I can have a private conversation a lot of the time.

Kate

kidcat

katie - I am sure I have missed it and am so sorry but how did your DD get on with the job in the care home?

I have had a lovely day, after getting upset by my family this morning I dropped DD6 at a party and then had a message from a friend to say she had found a suitable car to replace one that her OH crashed weeks ago.
Her OH was working so I offered to take her and her son to have a look - I collected DD from her party, packed up that car and the kids and we headed on a road trip - to Blackpool!!

Car turned out to be a total dud but it was a really fun afternoon, kids watched DVDS and enjoyed each others company and we just had a laugh. Stopped at McD for kids as a treat and then headed home.

Years ago when I was 7 we did a big family trip to Blackpool with my grandparents, aunts and uncles and had an amazing time, and the memories are still amazing. One of the funny moments was a wrong turn that led us past a beautiful windmill - six times. It was a family joke for ever afterwards.
I have been to Blackpool many times since and never ever seen it again, until today we chanced across it by accident and it really made me feel my Uncle and grandparents giving me a hug and reminding me of such a special day.

katieowl_2

kidcat wrote: »

katie - I am sure I have missed it and am so sorry but how did your DD get on with the job in the care home?

She's handed all the paperwork in, and is waiting for a phone call, they said as soon as they know what hours they can offer they will phone? But in the meantime she's seen that they are advertising (New advert) for a cook/cooks on the Jobcentre site! The woman who saw her when she went in, works there, and said they'd given up finding a cook and were going to train up some kitchen assistants. So whether this is Head office, which was miles away (Swansea or Cardiff or something) being awkward? Who knows.

She's pretty miserable, They've managed to pay this months rent, but next month, if the HB hasn't been sorted they'll probably have to borrow some money. DD really doesn't want to do that!

Kate

kidcat

katieowl wrote: »

She's handed all the paperwork in, and is waiting for a phone call, they said as soon as they know what hours they can offer they will phone? But in the meantime she's seen that they are advertising (New advert) for a cook/cooks on the Jobcentre site! The woman who saw her when she went in, works there, and said they'd given up finding a cook and were going to train up some kitchen assistants. So whether this is Head office, which was miles away (Swansea or Cardiff or something) being awkward? Who knows.

She's pretty miserable, They've managed to pay this months rent, but next month, if the HB hasn't been sorted they'll probably have to borrow some money. DD really doesn't want to do that!

Kate

Katie is it worth her applying via the job centre too? It may be that head office sent the details out based on old information but I dont think it can harm if she applies through the main channels as well.

katieowl_2

kidcat wrote: »

Katie is it worth her applying via the job centre too? It may be that head office sent the details out based on old information but I dont think it can harm if she applies through the main channels as well.

That's not a bad Idea...I'll suggest it to her. She just thinks that the longer it goes the less likely it is someone will give her a 'proper' job because of being pregnant. The only plus side here is that with easter being early maybe the tourist places will be looking for temporary staff soon, which might be easier to pull off.

Kate

jem132

Hi all iv been away from the board for awhile as I was feeling unnerved by all the bad feelings. But all seams well now.

Sorry about your loss

2t sorry about your fall

As VD that will be a no go round hear as we are gona be in the sh** financialy I think we have been over paid by Tax credits. Last years income was £10,000 this year is £18,000 it used to say on your award if your income goes above..... Let us know. It does not say that now. So not really sure what to do dh booked a holiday for us on Monday and yesterday was told of possible redundancies in April when we go on holiday the company he works for have lost a massive contract the one he does the most work for. The good thing is he is one of the lower paid and most movable he has done all the jobs asked of him .I hope that goesbin his favor.

If it happens we will both work 20 hours each if we have to so long as we can pay our mortgage and feed and keep warm we will be okay.

Snow is forecast so stay warm all xx

Uniscots97

kidcat wrote: »

katie -

Years ago when I was 7 we did a big family trip to Blackpool with my grandparents, aunts and uncles and had an amazing time, and the memories are still amazing. One of the funny moments was a wrong turn that led us past a beautiful windmill - six times. It was a family joke for ever afterwards.
I have been to Blackpool many times since and never ever seen it again, until today we chanced across it by accident and it really made me feel my Uncle and grandparents giving me a hug and reminding me of such a special day.

I know that windmill VERY well! I've been going to Blackpool every year since I was 8 (I missed a few years in my early 20s and regret it) with my Grandparents and my Mum (my Mum started coming with us after her accident when I was 11). We always passed that windmill and that (to me) was when our holiday really started. My Grandpa passed away 2 years ago, and due to a stroke hadn't come with us for a few years before that. My Gran stopped going too. Mum and I have tried to persuade her to come but she says it wouldn't be right without my Grandpa. It used to be my Grandpa that drove, now its me (to give my Mum a break, she's disabled. Injured in a crash caused by a drunk driver) and the first time I drove that road myself I ended up going round in circles past the windmill umpteen times before finally figuring out how to get to the north shore without going alone the front (there a bit where the road and the tram lines cross and it freaks me out something chronic!!!).