'supporting each other through really tough times'

thriftyniftyme

No, I know of course you didn't. This is a forum where we talk about our lives and what is happening and what has happened so of course you will mention it I really didn't want to make a big deal of it though and I apologise if I made you uncomfortable.

ginnyknit

May I make a suggestion...turn the central heating on Pops, there is no earthly reason why you couldnt have it on for an hour or two per day. Im not being nasty Im being sensible, depression and hypothermia go hand in hand. You need warm air not just warm feet. there are very few people on here with no heating on at all and when many of them say they havent turned the Ch on yet they also tell you they have a log burner or portable heater on rather than heating the entire house. Switch all the radiators off except the living room and bedroom and get warm

Cranky has the most amazing son with a most enquiring mind well beyond his years and a sense of humour to match - just felt like mentioning it, cos I adore him. But ask her about her cats I dare you :rotfl:

Im off to stock up on 'plan k' tomorrow, cos Im well past plan b now :rotfl: It is to empty the freezers of all the odds and sods and fill them with meals instead of components. Its worked ok my way but think full portions will work better. I have the weekend off from DGS so am making the most of it...if you smell fried onions tomorrow its from my house :D

Popperwell

thriftyniftyme wrote: »

(((Hugs))) Popperwell. I do hope you feel better soon xxx the clocks changing doesn't help one little bit, I don't think. I don't think anyone should have to apologise for their feeling low or justify it. If you can afford it put the heating on or have a nice hot bath. It'll warm your bones and maybe help you feel better.

Christmas is such a fraught time for many. We are all sold this perfect picture but it's not really like that for many, for every person I know looking forwards to Christmas I know people who are dreading it. Even those of us surrounded by people can find it a lonely and isolating time. A first Christmas alone is bound to be tough. Could you arrange to go and do something completely different than be at home?

Thank you Thrifty,
Christmas may go better than I fear(often that is the case)my birthday a few weeks after losing Mum went better than I hoped it might. I am thinking of going to the church service on Christmas eve(I think it starts around 11.30pm)I'll risk walking home even though mobility is poor. Funny how even though I dis/do have a faith it has waived a little of late and yet there I am kind of turning back there for some kind of comfort.

I think what you say is true you can be lonely even when surrounded by others...and this time of year does have it's nice times, especially if you are warm and cosy and with loved ones but I don't like the dark days that come with the clocks going back.

I think subconciously(sp?)I know that I have to decide about the scattering of Mum's ashes and I have talked of it on here before(got lots of support and advice)I was going to try and find somewhere special, then though about the nice garden at the crematorium but then I never thought that I would, there is no rush, I may bring them home and decide later or arrange that we are scattered together at some time...Can't really leave it much longer...

Sorry about that.

People don't often believe that there is very little to do that is social, free or doesn't cost that much to do on my town...what could help mentally and get you out of the four walls often needs transport and is in neighbouring towns that are difficult to reach especially once it gets to roughly 6pm. And as they are talking of removing the bus passes for the elderly(I still have another 13 years to go for mine)no wonder many stay within a small area.

I was writing on another thread and as I did I had a lightbulb moment and it ties in with your suggestion of putting the heating on and not being so thrifty...

I have a fairly decent food store...so I thought...

"perhaps if I don't have to buy food I can afford to put the CH on and be warm and cosy again during the cold times...at present I am trying to avoid using the CH or electric.

And perhaps the trick in future is to...buy and store food during the spring and summer for future use over the year...then the money I might spend on food during Autumn/Winter might pay for the heating when it is most cold...this may/may not work but I just thought of that!"

Even the most positive amongst us have times where we feel down. But I still think I am coping quite well. I mean at least I can still listen to the radio/music that we shared, I am able to watch some TV(couldn't do that some weeks ago)and though I eat less and my meals may be simple at least I am still eating.

Thanks again...

Popperwell

CRANKY40 wrote: »

Thanks. I didn't mention it for sympathy though. Three years down the line we're used to our lives being how they are. I was just explaining how a 5 year old had come not to believe in Santa.

I never thought that...and like you I will never get over my loss but I guess you look at things differently and accept it better and who knows what I may get involved in.

thriftyniftyme

Cats? Do tell!

I agree with Ginny, Popperwell. You need some heating! Even if you don't have it on in the whole house, get one room nice and comfy and toasty!

Popperwell

ginnyknit wrote: »

May I make a suggestion...turn the central heating on Pops, there is no earthly reason why you couldnt have it on for an hour or two per day. Im not being nasty Im being sensible, depression and hypothermia go hand in hand. You need warm air not just warm feet. there are very few people on here with no heating on at all and when many of them say they havent turned the Ch on yet they also tell you they have a log burner or portable heater on rather than heating the entire house. Switch all the radiators off except the living room and bedroom and get warm

I'm learning:)Ginny and Thrifty...as you may have seen from my last post with my latest idea. Tomorrow I will close the door on the bedroom and when the radiator comes on the heat will stay in the room. The pipes that run under the floorboards will help keep the landing warm too.

May have to get someone out to see to the thermostat, as I cannot alter the dial...sadly it is right next to the front door so that causes it to kick in more when it is cold. We used to have thick curtains across the door but for various reasons they are not there anymore so I probably should buy some new ones and put them up again...

Two rooms are especially cold...the kitchen because of health and safety means they have put more and more ventilation grills in over the years so you like to cook your meal, get out and close the door.

And the hall because the front door is a bit draughty otherwise this house has always seemed warm all the year around...Thanks again.

thriftyniftyme

My kitchen is freezing too. Having the slow cooker on takes the edge off a bit! I am fortunate to have a porch by my front door but the back gets freezing. I've got a heavy lined curtain and I keep it closed through the winter even though it means I need to have a light on. I got mine from a charity shop, it's worth asking even if you don't see any out as often they're bulky and hard to display so they keep them out the back. Or you could line a normal curtain with an old fleece or blanket? Also, if your door has glass in it putting bubble-wrap over it can help quite a bit, even if it looks odd!

I try and make sure my living room is nice and warm even if the rest of the house isn't so much. In our old house when the central heating was condemned OH and I actually 'moved in' to our living room for a winter rather than try and keep the bedroom warm! But being cold is dangerous - it can be physically damaging but also saps your spirit.

lisakay_2

my kitchen is a small extension. it has a concrete floor with lino. even though I have a thick curtain, draught excluder tape and a draught snake at the door, come winter you can see your breath out there. when it's really bad i sit in the living room and prep the meals, then just dash in the kitchen to put it in the oven /sc.
i'm currently halfway through a rag rug for the floor so at least my feet wont get frost bite when i do have to spend time out there!

pops, hope you put your heating on for a while and are starting to feel warmer x

savingqueen

Been out all day and spent the last hour or so catching up here tucked up in bed... pages of chat, which is great but now I can't remember any of it as so sleepy. Will have to have a quick recap tomorrow!

Before I go - Pops I am also going to say... and nag you if needs be... please turn on your heating if you are that cold. I know you wrap up warmly and have hot drinks but a little central heating when you need it isn't a luxury, its an essential if you are to get through the winter without getting really ill. You can restrict the heating to one or two rooms as you say and have it on low - I find even a very low setting takes off the chill and makes a big difference. Check you are insulated (like those door curtains) as much as possible - lots of tips on here - to make the most of the heat. Also you are paying for the standing charge whether you use heating or not so its a waste of money in a way not to get any value from paying that - if that makes any sense!

Have a lovely warm/hot bath tomorrow too. Also make sure you are eating properly - try and cook a hot meal during the day - it will give your day some focus/routine and keep you warm. You really do have to look after yourself properly. I know you are concerned about your finances but you will be ok, life has a way for sorting itself out somehow and you need to live a little.

I will be checking up on you later...be warned!

very late for me so will say goodnight to all if anyone is still up
sq:)

Popperwell

Thank you again for all the suggestions and kindness...It really does make a difference and I do take notice. Sometimes people like me can help others but not always see the way forward for themselves, you know the old saying, "You can't see the wood for the trees"

It probably will all work out ok but sometimes you can be too close to a situation.

I know it is repeating things but hopefully that will become less as time goes on. And these sad thoughts will become easier to deal with. I came to terms with the loss of my Dad over 28 years ago but perhaps with Mum being around all of my life so far and I guess you have a special bond there it hits you harder, plus I am alone now...where we were there for each other...in another way I have been fortunate to have Mum around as long as I have, many do not.

I have made a casserole(doing in the SC as I speak but I half prepared it on the hob so that should be ready quickly)I have had the heating on for two hours:eek:that was longer than intended but I can feel the difference. For how long I don't know...must think about the bubble wrap and the curtains...

I am warmer and a little less self focussed on my negativity.

It also is good for someone to tell you some home truths...I don't usually give in so hope that I will be a fighter...

The two times I seem to get hit with my bad feelings are either the afternoon or roughly between 8pm and midnight.

Some days not at all so that has to be a good sign...

Right time to watch a little TV;)