'supporting each other through really tough times'

savingqueen

thanks FairyP, meenlaragh, Mrs LW and Mrs Chip :A

You're right, doubt they mean to exclude me, they have just bonded with each other and not me. They are so different from me in so many ways and very self absorbed. To be honest I don't like a lot of their behaviour and attitude and struggling with that.

There are only 2 groups that have now merged and I don't know the others well yet but I am trying to - they seem nicer but have bonded together and sit together (probably partly because my group are a clique) I don't do cliques and try and speak to everyone even though I am bit shy.

My worry isn't now, it's when the course is over and we will work as a team and support each other. I have suggested to the tutors the idea of a peer mentor from the old batch of already trained volunteers so that might happen. I don't need new friends as such as have some nice ones outside this course but just don't cope well with being on the outside. I don't show it, am friendly and professional but inside I am a sensitive soul by nature. Still rather that than cold and unfeeling! Thanks so much, I will carry on doing my thing and I might try and confide in one of the girls I don't know well that I feel left out. Nothing to loose really.

Off to make DH's special request of bacon and brie butties. Not feeling too well today, lots of things all together like my back playing up but nothing major. DS9 wants to go out but I need to plod on slowly at home. back later to catch up properly, tummies all rumbling now!

thanks to you all for all your support and kindness - you help me in so many ways so thank you again. You are truely a wonderful bunch of people.
sq

Popperwell

Afternoon again,
Where did the morning go? Slept well, stayed off the pc. Managed without the night light too.

Yes, it was a good night thanks and an experience seeing a play on stage again.

Weather seems poor again. Could go out but will avoid doing so, there is no reason to do so. Missed a big event in/near Hartlepool marina that sounded good but hope to attend another that is said to be great next Sunday in Northallerton.

Hey if on teetotal or religious grounds any is not avoiding alcohol I have found out some great recipes for cakes/cupcakes that have added oomph thanks to different liquers based on cocktails. If you want a link, let me know;)some other nice ideas turn up on the same site...

Eventually I can see me having a go:rotfl:Want to attempt baking bread again. In the clean up my kitchen scales seem to have been misplaced:mad:

I don't know how but I have three or four flasks but as sometimes they can get broken, I'm glad that I have them.

I can varify what GQ says regarding the use of bicarb. As I have a rucksack these days(unless it has soup in it)I take coffee/teabags and powdered/some milk seperate and make it at the required time. It can be a bit fiddly though doing that I admit.

[Deleted User]

SHEILA my heart aches for you lovie, you are doing the hardest loneliest job in the world and have been for a long time, it's no wonder you're tired out and emotionally stressed, how long is it since you actually got away for a few days to a different place where you can just be? I'll bet it's a long time and I know you have the livestock to look after at home so not easy to do. Do you have anyone to spell you for say just an afternoon so you can go out to the sea or for a walk and not have to worry about what is happening at home, how long since you could put down the responsibilities entirely for a while? It is soul sapping to have that responsibility 24/24 seven days a week, no matter how much you love someone, it becomes an onerous task if you have no respite yourself. I know your OH has a weeks respite care but, is there a relative who would come to give you a break once in a while so you could actually get away from the house, that would do you so much good, maybe just to go and have a cuppa with a friend, I wish I had the answers for you, all I can do is send you all the strength I can muster and as many hugs as you could possibly imagine, and hope and pray for you that things improve and make your life more than bearable very soon, I'm always at the end of a PM, don't hesitate, Love and Hugs, Lyn xxx.

alfsmum

Afternoon lovely people,

Sunshine and showers here over the weekend, haven't done anything special, a bit of food shopping yesterday assisted by DH and dropped some goodies at my Mum's. into town today with Dh, dd and her bf; anxiety abated enough for me to enjoy it, bought a floral backpack dd wanted to celebrate two years hard work in sixth form. She can take it on her hols with bf and family next month and use it for Uni in September. Also got pseudo-leather jacket for other dd for all her hard work in gcse exams. Have informed both DDs that they will have to buy anything else they want from pocket money & Saturday jobs as we need to put money aside for lots of bills coming up. Dh is having a much needed Fathers Day nap now and I am feeling weary so having a sit down with a cuppa.

Fuddle, tea does taste different from a flask. I've got used to it now but sometimes take a flask of hot water, teabags and milk separately if I can be bothered!

GQ, I will stay clear of the low flying bread rolls in a SHTF situation. I think we are going to use our stockpile of pickled onions with a catapult...

Lyn, what a lovely haul you got. Haven't seen a jumble sale for ages. I used to buy up pretty dresses, blouses etc and wash and cut up for patchwork. I guess everything goes to car boots, CS or straight in the bin these days?

SQ, I'm sure the others don't mean to exclude you, probably feel secure in their little group and don't really think about anyone else. I'm with Lyn in that much as I like to chat to people, I'm probably happiest with a book and my own company.

Hope everyone manages to have a peaceful evening.

[Deleted User]

GQ that sounds suspiciously like Dwarf Bread!!!

GreyQueen

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

GQ that sounds suspiciously like Dwarf Bread!!!

It was a deliberate stealth dwarf bread reference for those of us who have a second home on Discworld.

My alternate home would prolly be in The Shades.

Going away now to play wiv a fwend (contrary to popular rumour, I actually have some, the poor misguided souls...........:p).

Might be back later tonight, if not, play nicely and I'll see ya termorrer.

Byatt

Sheila, first of all you should see your GP and tell him how you are feeling, mentally, physically and emtionally, there are procedures in place (or should be) for carers as it is recognised that a carer's health worsens as they don't have the time or energy to take care of themselves.

Secondly, do you have any support at all to help your OH get up and go to bed? As other's have said check with your local carer's association or call the main number and ask what practical help you can get, tell them you are close to collapsing yourself.

Is your OH entititled to a package of support which he can choose?

I appreciate the toll it takes on you, although my care of my DD is not seen as 24/7, because the help I give her is often emotional and verbal when her carer's are not around (she gets about 12 hours per week, which is a lot in the scheme of things, plus dom care to make sure she gets up and washed and goes to bed after a wash), the rest of the time it's me. 50+ calls a day (and night) are not unheard of and there is the inevitable drama and crisis. I think it's being in a state of constant alert that exhausts and along with the pure physical work you have to do for you OH, it's not surprising you are feeling burned out. You need to take care of you. xx

nuttyp

Afternoon toughies, hopefully you can all help me out please. Yesterday I was at work all day, now in thelast week eldest DD and fianc! have decided to move house. They asked up to help, both morally financially and physically. This fell through and then my mum offered them a deposit should they wish to buy. They saw a house they liked, someone else offered considerably more. So they are now staying put. The argument that started yesterday was over them going to view a new car - approx. 2 years old. We had to help them at Christmas as they had a car on finance they couldn't afford - now they are going down the same route.

The end of the story is, ive said I will no longer assist them with anything financially and they 'on their own'. Just saying this made them erupt in rage and said I was being unreasonable. I work lots of hours, I have no savings they have been spent helping them out already - I do minimal shopping but have still had to take food around as they have run out of cash. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, but I have had the last 24 hours go by in flood of tears. Its fathers day and she has refused to see her dad, they went to stay with his family. Fiances dad has rang to say hes angry with us, but im at my wits end. What else can I do? They haven't said how we have helped them, only last week he needed to 'borrow' 25 for petrol.

Sorry everyone, but I need some advise from un related people. My mum has been dragged into the argument, and she has said they are being unreasonable. I don't want to loose my daughter - life is far too short for that.

Ant help greatly appreciated.

The_Dragon

I think tough love is what is needed and what you are providing, it is hard but it will be better in the long run (when they calm down I think they and his parents will understand as well)

Huge hugs in the meantime though :A

shegar

KIDCAT...KEZLOU.... MAR .AND LYN... Thanks for your ideas and words of comfort, Social Services do give me one week every 4 which does sound a lot , but the other 3 are hard.......They class hubbies needs as intense, thats why I get the 1 week respite.....

I get so tired, thats my problem then I seem to get ill, and cant get a pick up, we end up eating jam sandwiches quite a few nights because im tired and cant stand and cook.........We definately dont starve, but at the same time we dont really eat healthily when im ill.......

Its this dam type 1 diabetes that gets me down , after having it for 37 years , the old body starts to play up , soon as I get low and ill the sugar keeps rising and thats a battle on its own to keep stabilised ........

Ive been to the drs before regarding this and he says that im under severe stress, and have I considered having hubby put in nursing care full time, that is what should happen really , but how do I talk to him about it, when his head cant take things in ?.......He knows im not well , but doesnt realise just how much work is involved looking after him, its very hard .....................

Suffolk Carers give me one weeks respite per year , which is helpful, and they will come and sit with him but its £13.50 per hour......:eek:.......The councils budget has been cut again this April due to central goverment, so theres no way of getting extra help, plus I expect there are other people in the same situation as me , and they also need help........I will see if Red Cross have a little something to offer........
I didnt get much done at all today , I did fall asleep again in my hut for hour and half, but woke up worse than I started...:eek:......Sheila.......