'supporting each other through really tough times'

GreyQueen

Byatt wrote: »

Ah, GQ, the definition of sanity. Sometimes what is the most frightening is that they are not "insane"...I think for me that is the most disturbing. It seemed to me that they were more concerned about being filmed and having people hear their opinion, than the fact a man was dead and they were the cause of it. It really didn't register on their radar.

Devoid of all human compassion, then. But sane.

Two men were convicted of the murder of one of my second cousins over twenty years ago. They served time. Not nearly enough, in our family's opinion.

One of them walks the streets without an apparent qualm, even living in the neighbourhood that his victim's nearest relations also live in. They pass him on the street. The other was so troubled by what he'd done that he eventually committed suicide. I draw my own conclusions about which of that pair had the greater moral compass.

the_cake

We certainly do live in "interesting" times..... So sorry to hear of your problems Kidcat, surely no one is a more caring and responsible parent than you are. I am always filled with admiration for the way you tackle the complex stuff life throws at you.
Frivolity warning! I have just been to visit my neighbour, taking a dead mole and a telephone - how surreal is that? But quite logical really: My new catten (still kittenish, but cat-sized), Jeeves, caught a mole today but did not eat it, I came home to find it lying dead, neatly placed in the middle of the sitting room floor, without a mark on it. Lovely little thing. My neighbour rescues owls, and is always glad of any food donations. I was not sure if owls ate moles, so offered it. Owls do not eat moles! Her phone is out of order at the moment, so I took her our spare, corded phone to plug in, so she could find out if the fault is on the line (BT responsibility) or with her own phone (her responsibility, and if BT came out and found it was her fault, would charge her. She has very little money ...). Hence the visit with mole and phone!

ginnyknit

Cake, you sound like a really good friend :rotfl: your gifts are a tad unusual but very thoughtful.

Kidcat, hugs and you are responsible for me now wanting to go to Legoland. Am going to have a look online at it as I know nothing about the place. I guess I will have to take DGS as I would look silly on my own. I think it will have to wait a couple of years as he is still on the big bricks. He has tried crochet now and is very interested in winding wool at the mo so booking one of those craft weekends at a fancy hotel may be on the books one day - any excuse

I too shed tears when I saw the video of the murder, the poor boys parents, in fact all the parents waiting to hear from their boys at the barracks, it must have been unbearable. there will be a lot of counselling needed including the people who tried to help.

fuddle

People were filmed walking past calmly a man with blood on his hands, holding a meat cleaver and a man down in the road. Who filmed this? Who gave a platform? There are some civilians that reacted to this in a way I cannot fathom. Yes I'm a scardy cat but would once we all not run away screaming?

nuttyp

morning,

kidcat, please don't blame yourself. Its not always wasy to find out what is wrong for some people. I definaltey know how you feel, my eldest DD was diagnosed by a trainee sonographer, she had been go-karting. Not a 'girls' sport in any way but she was good hehehe anyway she had an accident and went to hospital. This nice man had to say she had a major spinal condition. Roll on 6 months and she had surgery to add a titanium rod to the full length of the spine. I felt so guilty, why didn't I notice there was something wrong? She now has a scar that goes diagonally from her belly button right up to when her bra fastens at the back. She is also missing a rib from the same side, this is how they had to go in. I felt so guilty because I didn't notice anything was wrong.

Must get myself dressed, and then take youngest to collage n my mum shopping. Have a good day everyone x

Popperwell

Morning All,
What can anyone say about the horrors of yesterday? Luckily, I only heard about it and did not see the video but that was bad enough.

To those who feel guilty of missing that someone close to us needs care/treatment and have missed something try not to(easier said than done)even Dr's can miss vital signs...

A new day, having a rest, then back to work...I can't clear everything but a lot has gone and so will have put some bags in the garage and will start again over the weekend but I can say that by 2pm at the latest the house will be tidy.

I will explain that later in the week my gardener will take more away for me which is quicker than waiting for the normal rubbish collection when they visit...and from 2pm today I'll give the house another vacuum, a quick dust and polish.

I will also explain that the reason it has taken longer is because I had to sort out documents and shred a lot which takes time...and of course the garden has been sorted out too...

If time allows I will continue to clear more away...over the weekend

I'm reasonably happy, I hope that they are...much of what has been thrown out, I just chucked away because I could not be bothered to sort it but there was nothing wrong with much of it and it wasn't rubbish as such but I suppose what you could say is it means there is little if any ornaments that need fussy dusting.

Pooky

Morning all

Kidkat - I can understand the mourning and the guilt, it's part of what your mind needs to go through in order to come to terms with how the next part of your lives is going to play out. Hugs x

Cake - I sat here giggling about your neighbourly visit. Mine haven't caught a mole yet, we did have a sausage last week......quite ferocious these sausages, they need a lot of pouncing on and flinging in the air.

Yesterday's news was sickening, I've not seen any of the footage as I simply won't give it brain room. I'm not very enamoured with the human race at the moment, Im at a complete loss as to why so many people feel justified in their actions. I'm sick of feeling intimidated in town centres, I'm disgusted by the lack of morals, self respect and simple human kindness that seems to be the norm and overall I'm sick of the sensationalist attitude of the press that whips everything up into a hatred frenzy.

Aside from that I'm quite a happy bunny.

Hope you all have a good day, I'm going to play with poly filler! The excitement.

GreyQueen

I won't watch that footage, either, Pooky; I refuse to give it brainspace. And I couldn't agree more about the general tenor of society. About how people conduct themselves in public, using the foulest swearwords at (and to) their children. No end of people seem to have been raised by wolves without the slightest concept of the rights of other people to go peacefully about their business without being subject to gratutious offence, intimidation and harrassment.

Young couples (late teens/ early twenties) in my neighbourhood are constantly rowing, fighting, throwing stuff, cursing like fishwives and conducting their personal issues outside on the public walkways at maximum problem. People, the rest of us don't wanna hear it. Grow up, or split up, fer cryin' out loud.

In the past few years I've seen a rash of notices reminding people not to do things which should be commonsense; not to spit on the street, not to take food or drink into shops, not to take your bicycle into the supermarket, or go into same shirtless or shoeless.

You see people come into our municipal offices and sit in the waiting area scarfing chips and Big Macs and dropping food detritus on the carpetted floor, and on the seats which other visitors will use, whilst their children run amok and pull down barriers and percuss on the seating.

D&DD

Morning all

Nutty your post was so true of a lot of parents I have met,me included! I moaned at my middle son wearing out his shoes funny and didn't even notice his back until the curve was nearly 100 degrees..it's not something you look for.

Kidcat it's natural to worry hun and I think as a loving parent it's also natural to blame yourself for a lot of things which frankly are nobodys fault.I beat myself up all the time then realise eventually 'stuff happens' and it's not all my fault.It's part of the natural grieving process I think and we have to train ourselves to try and put a positive spin on things.I know you do but there's going to be times when it all gets a bit too much I know that too and thats what friends are for isn't to dust us off and get us back in the saddle again so to speak.

My way of coping is to try and plan ahead and try not to dwell on the past and things I cannot change.I suppose thats one of the reasons I prep too as it helps me feel more in control of things,well things that I can control at least

My eldest is in the same boat with 2 younger disabled siblings and with Aspie issues his self but I've tried to organise as much as I can for him (I have done my will and have copious life insurances)I have also sat him down and gone through the medical stuff for his brothers so he is up to speed.

You'll find your way through this and bounce back stronger I know you will as you are that sort of positive person.We are all allowed to have days when we're fed up you know We just don't ever remember it!! XX

Rowan9

Weather lovely and sunny but windy. Haven't ventured out with doggie yet to test temp.
At a funeral yesterday - hailstones and wet snow. Luckily dry and sunny when at graveside though.
Goodness it's nearly June!
Today with involve meditation and nature. Back to some calm. Much needed.
W