'supporting each other through really tough times'

Pooky

RPP - huge hugs x

wondercollie

Rosie, so sorry. Remember puss as a young kitten and the fun you had.

shegar

RPP....So sorry to hear of your loss, hugs to you..xxxsheila

fuddle

So sorry to read of such sad news x

Popperwell

Always sad to lose a companion whether animal or human...

Popperwell

That is the careful path I am following Byatt(funnily enough what you said about contacting the shelter crossed my mind)but saw it as private/confidential bit like dealing with medical or social services. He goes all over the place...

Goes great distances by bus and sees many shows across the North East and seems not held back...thinking about it I think there is heightened intenseness there.

But already he told me he only has a year to live*, that he needs an operation that could see him bedridden and eventually in a wheelchair**, that he was going to sing a song in last nights show, he didn't.

He asked if I could feel the microphone under his t shirt(I know there wasn't one)he claims he has an agent and soon an exhibition of his will be at the Baltic and there will be a preview night. Two weeks time he claims to be conducting an act of an orchestra...and much more...

And yet he is mixing or making contact with people in the industry and they do know him.

Yesterday he tried to blag his way into the expensive resturant at the Baltic and the staff thought he had a reservation and they'd made an error(They hadn't)and I managed to say something privately and got him to go. If we'd had a meal it could have cost £50+ each.

But if I managed to iron the problem out and if I am seen talking out of earshot he asks what I was saying and I have to make a quick excuse different to what was actually said.

Its difficult...or will be should any of this be true but I am highly sceptical.

*If either of these are true or not we'll find out if he's still here in a years time...

Popperwell

Held off on the camera, I can get a 14mp camera by Cannon for not much more in Argos and it also does short videos clips with sound, also had a wide angle lens and tele photo function and though £20 more they have reduced it by £30, it is out of stock at present...

fuddle

For what it's worth pops I would be inclined to make sure you feel comfortable in your surroundings with your friend. If you're comfortable (in your club/locality) then you could chat as much as you like without feeling all the feelings you're feeling today.

I'm only used to being a friends to children with special needs but I would say the rules of friendship will most probably be the same... be truthful, be yourself and if you don't like something, say with reasoning why. Just because there's a special need doesn't mean people cannot cope with life or negative responses, they just need people around them to treat them with honesty. There's no need for kid gloves or different treatment, just explanation in a way that the person can relate to, said with compassion and kindness.

Pops if you don't want to go somewhere with your friend then say. He may well be upset, heck we all feel upset when things don't go our way, just make sure you give a reason. (No money, not keen on the journey, have other plans, too tired, a bit sore, not too keen on that music). It'll help him come to terms because he'll focus on the reason and not the rejection - generalising massively there as I haven't a clue about his needs. Look after yourself, live your life the way you want to, don't feel sorry for him that makes you put yourself in last nights situation and don't worry about him... but he does like you so you're going to have to be tough at the same time as mindful of his feelings.

Don't know if I've helped at all but being of empathetic nature I too would struggle with trying to put distance between a friendship that felt too much so I understand your feelings and I understand that the last thing you want to do is hurt him. He may well be tougher than you give him credit for

Popperwell

Very well put Fuddle...I was thinking a long similar lines...I can put it out of my mind for approx a month until the next show at the town hall...all the reasons you have come up with are true and genuine reasons for holding off a little and I also have to watch my own health.

Thanks...

stiltwalker

Rosie - Big hugs, so sorry for your loss, our furry friends are something special aren't they? I hope it is not too long before you can remember kittenish antics and smile again. X

Byatt - well put X

Well today I have just finished my first fun dressmaking project in I cannot remember how many years. I know I made my wedding dress and I loved doing it and I loved the result but it was done to a deadline and under pressure - I got the Sew Home magazine and have made the vintage style tea dress from the free gift (minus the bow as it really isn't me!) and remembered quite how much I actually enjoy dress making when I haven't got a deadline and it isn't for anyone else. Back to my patchwork and quilting for a while now though as I still have a load of blocks to catch up on.

Dh has his last tutorial tomorrow morning before his exam next month (arrrghhhh!) and then we are going to our farm park in the afternoon. Sunday is Cakefest - DS was 2 on Tuesday so we have invited friends for cake on Sunday afternoon, I have baked 5 cakes this afternoon/evening so about another 5 to go tomorrow and we should be right! As long as I get them done we'll be off to Church on Sunday morning to show off the new transportmobile (big buggy) as so many of our Church friends helped with the fundraising effort they've been waiting to see it.

Take care all - hugs where needed or just appreciated! - SW X