Hubby tarting

seashore22

I would be mortified (and a bit furious) if my husband dared to call me mummy. It would hardly make you feel like a desired and equal partner would it? Well, I suppose it might work for some people. My children call me mum. My husband never would.

Sorry for the outburst. For some strange reason the concept totally freaks me out.

luxor4t

seashore22 wrote: »

I would be mortified (and a bit furious) if my husband dared to call me mummy. ......

Although he is capable of many things, at least my husband has never mistaken me for his mother ..... :shocked:

seashore22

I know I'm concentrating on only one aspect of your post, but is there any way that you could, very nicely, ask your husband not to call you mummy? It obviously bothers you or you wouldn't have mentioned it. For me it would be the kiss of death to any romance in a relationship.

Did his parents do the same thing? I imagine that it is something you may learn from previous generations. We wouldn't do it because our parents and grandparents didn't.

Hope you can sort it out.

lika_86

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Really? Creepy? My mum and dad always did it. And I now refer to my mum and dad as Nanny and Grandad. Is that creepy too?

It isn't creepy if you say to your child for example, 'go and show your daddy' or 'let's go home and see daddy' but if you're sat at the dinner table and addressing your OH directly as daddy as in 'daddy, can you do the washing up?', that's really creepy.

Plus, I think it's good for kids to realise that although mummy and daddy are their mummy and daddy, they are also Jane and Fred to other people.

Then again, I recently met someone who still referred to him mum as 'mummy' as a grown man and I found that disturbing as well, so maybe it's just something about me.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

lika_86 wrote: »

It isn't creepy if you say to your child for example, 'go and show your daddy' or 'let's go home and see daddy' but if you're sat at the dinner table and addressing your OH directly as daddy as in 'daddy, can you do the washing up?', that's really creepy.

Plus, I think it's good for kids to realise that although mummy and daddy are their mummy and daddy, they are also Jane and Fred to other people.

Then again, I recently met someone who still referred to him mum as 'mummy' as a grown man and I found that disturbing as well, so maybe it's just something about me.

And if he wanted some sexytime........

........with somebody he calls 'Mummy'?


_pale_

NAR

The world is full of all sorts Jojo!!!! :rotfl: :rotfl:

seashore22

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

And if he wanted some sexytime........

........with somebody he calls 'Mummy'?


_pale_

I think that's the problem really. A bit of a no go area where sex is concerned. Maybe that's just me though.

lady1964

I think it's so easy as a mum of a LO to become so immersed in your child that you forget about yourself and that you're still an individual and a woman.

OP, there is some really good advice on here, I was also going to suggest trying the local college for student hair-do's and manicures etc, or training nights at a local salon. I do think your confidence is low and you need a boost to your self esteem and to stop thinking of yourself as 'drab;. If you give that impression of yourself, then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Does your LO go to a nursery which would free up a bit of time for you to have some 'me' time? If not, would your OH or your parents take care of your LO in order that you could have some time to yourself? You could wander around the shops and if money is tight, have a look in the charity shops, I browsed in one the other week and was suprised at the quality of some of the clothing on sale and how cheap things were.

When your hubby has a night off work, put on some make-up, get the LO to bed early, cook a nice dinner, get some wine & candles and have a romantic night & remind him that even though you're a mum, you're a woman and his wife. He needs to be reminded that you should be cherished and respected.

As for him calling you 'mummy' that is creepy. If my OH called me mum or mummy in the context of 'oh mum, do you want a cuppa?' instead of 'girls, ask mum if she wants a cuppa' I'd be letting him know that's wrong Get him to stop that!!!

VfM4meplse

To me, marriage means exclusivity, foresaking all others...now what part of that doesn't your husband understand? Or did he omit that section from your vows?

Your OH is missing his youth and making a complete t*t of himself in the process. There's no need to make one of you too, though. To me it's a matter of trust, he may be acting like a teenager, but do you think he would take the opportunity if it arose? If that's a question that would keep you awake at night, I think you're probably better off w/o the stress.

seaglass4

Hi,

A couple of things, how do his family communicate? Are they dismissive of their others half's or not? It may just be familiar family dynamics biting you on the bum.

Also, I can tell you from bitter experience trying to force someone to put you first doesn't work. If you have told him it makes you uncomfortable and he has really heard it then there isn't much point banging your head against a brick wall. He has made a decision that his need for attention comes above your need for reassurance. Make of that what you will & think of your own needs and how you can stop feeling bad about his behaviour.