Hubby tarting

Long term poster.

Hi there folks

Married, and have a 2 year old LO, I am currently a stay at home mum (although currently applying for part time jobs). Hubby is self employed and works long hours normally at night.

This may sound silly but lately he has begun to tart with a young girl 25 (he is 43) who we have both know since she was 14. She knows he has a soft spot for her and uses this to get his help with choosing cars and basically being there if in a crisis, I did say i was unhappy when he was going to go help her with something when I was heavily pregnant and he thought better of it.

Since then i know they sometimes text just jokey teasing etc. We went to a friend's child's party the other week and she was there, and he kept looking over at her. Then this week he has answered her facebook status's calling her flower and honey.

Think I am p***ed of because even though I know she wouldn't be interested at all in him, she is flattered by the attention and knows he probably fancies her more than me. Makes me feel totally crap that he used to call me honey but now seems to only see me as a nag bag mum, even refers to me as mummy.

I'm sure he tarts with other girls and a few years ago before we married he tarted big time via e-mail with an ex friend of mine, I know it never went any further but knew he probably would have. He also used to meet one old friend from his work, also a lot younger than him who used to have lots of boyfriend trouble but he never used to tell me, which made me really paranoid when I did find out (he took her to the Fairground etc).

I suppose I am feeling really drab at the moment and having him look at someone 10 years younger than me is making me feel a bit worthless. Also I see other hubby's put lovely things about their wives on FB but I am referred to as her indoors etc.

I did say to him today could he probably not call her honey on FB as I feel unhappy about it, think it makes me look a bit stupid to our shared friends. He just sat there in silence.

Am I just being silly?
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Comments

  • no , your not being silly. If that was my husband he would be told to shape up or ship out. That sort of behaviour is not acceptble to me at all.
  • Rebecca01
    Rebecca01 Posts: 725
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    no , your not being silly. If that was my husband he would be told to shape up or ship out. That sort of behaviour is not acceptble to me at all.

    Totally agree.

    Maybe you could talk to him explain exactly how you feel.
  • thehappybutterfly
    thehappybutterfly Posts: 2,053
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    edited 30 October 2012 at 8:24PM
    Agree with madison. Even if they both think it's 'harmless flirting', you're his wife and it's disrespectful to you. You've told him you're not happy, you've asked him to stop so wait and see if he does. If he starts getting secretive about his conversations with her, then I think you need to have a serious discussion about where his loyalties lie.

    FWIW - I would brain my hubby if he behaved like that.

    ETA : he's maybe a wee bit infatuated with her and now that he knows that you know and you've made him aware of your unhappiness, he'll pull himself together and realise what's he's doing is wrong. And excrutiatingly embarrassing!
  • Barneysmom
    Barneysmom Posts: 10,123
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    Instead of getting upset, try fliping him off his spoon.
    You know that kind of snorty sound you make when you're trying not to laugh, just do that a couple of times, like you think he's a real sad idiot.
    Embarass him and bring him back down to earth with a nice bump, get your own back. :)

    Say 'cor' when you see a gorgeous bloke ;)
  • Fire_Fox
    Fire_Fox Posts: 26,026
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    What does tarting mean these days? Does it mean like flirting? :o Isn't he a bit old for Facebook at 43? There will always be someone younger and prettier than you in the world, isn't there anyone younger and more handsome than him? If not find someone maybe start going out with your friends more whilst he sits, join the gym and do some fitness classes to meet new people and get a confidence boost.
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
  • thanks folks even made me laugh too, god does noone say tarting anymore I am getting old xx
  • 0^0
    0^0 Posts: 146 Forumite
    I honestly thought the title said hubby farting.:o
  • Fire_Fox
    Fire_Fox Posts: 26,026
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    thanks folks even made me laugh too, god does noone say tarting anymore I am getting old xx

    I thought it was me getting old actually!! :p Probably a regional thing, I see a fair bit if that on here. To me a tart is a prostitute or any girl that was free with her favours or didn't wear much clothing, never applied to men when I was younger/ where I am from.
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
  • Another problem is that we have only been out as a couple once in two years in August for a couple of hours for a meal and watch a film. During the meal he had no conversation and spend all the time on his iphone.

    He seems to think we come as a 3 person package and even on a rare evening meal at a relatives house he took our son. I was then changing runny nappies in a dress and didn't get to eat much as son was tired and grumpy.

    I am dragging him to the cinema next week, and it does feel like dragging.

    I love my son but I do not get a break from him having him 24/7.
  • 0^0 wrote: »
    I honestly thought the title said hubby farting.:o

    Well he does that too
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