Really want someone to talk to right now. :-(

urbanlegend11

Im sorry but from the opinions and dtails you have given you sound as if your about 13 years old on your first date. Its clear to see that you have driven this girl away if she was keen or she wasnt really that keen and she was just being polite until the point of leaving for her new job. You say you gave her a DVD and a book well whoopedoda she owes you the earth:rotfl:
You get some sound advice from here to give her some space and let things pan out but you ignored everyone. Sorry to be so harsh but i really think that is what you need. Be strong, dont be needy and have some pride. That is all....

JustinCredibleGillespie

What part of Northern Ireland has she gone too? I'll find her & send her back 1st class recorded.;)

Please dont be offended, I'm just trying to make you smile

JCG

xx

tea_lover

Stalking just isn't an attractive trait.

heartbreak_star

I'm surprised nobody else has mentioned this - but I'm REALLY glad your mum's okay!

HBS x

EDIT: Thousandth post. Wheeee!!!

VestanPance

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Actually, before I met her for the first time and she told me that she'd been offered a job in Northern Ireland, I texted her back and said that there probably wasn't much point in meeting. I said that it would get to the time when she'd move and I felt that would be a waste of time.

She actually argued it with me and said that there would be holidays and things. She was still really keen to meet - and I was reluctant. To be honest, she almost pressured me into it - she was that persistent and didn't really want to take no for answer. So I agreed - I thought I'd get a nice day out and I'd probably never see her again.

Yadda yadda yadda...

Reread what you posted and think it out big fella. What you've uncovered is what many guys would call classic female dating behaviour and in doing so you screwed up badly.

Now I know many ladies of the forum will disagree with what I'm about to say and it's obviously very generic and does not apply to 100% of all you ladies.

In your post you start off as described as showing interest, but a little bit aloof. Not bothered about meeting up etc. Classic dating female behaviour exhibit one, now she's interested. Why doesn't he want to meet up? We seem to get along. Rather than viewed as being needy, you are coming across as calm and confident. She wants to meet this guy.

After first date you had fun, but were happy to call it a day. Exhibit one is still in full affect. The fact you are making her think another date isn't a given makes her want it more. What you've done unintentionally is come across as masculine and in control of the situation.

The decent to your failure from this point appears to be a complete car crash. You lost your cool, your masculine cool confident guy appearance. Where did that guy go? Exhibit two, turned off by guy who's obsessed with me.

Have you ever noticed in every workplace or group of friends there's some bloke that's been in love with some girl like forever and holds her up as some sort of perfect creature of womanhood? Have you also noticed these guys never ever get to date those girls? They are too full on from the off. It's not an attractive trait. Constant attention, calls, texts, messages etc. Suddenly their life will be perfect if only they could get that girl! They have gone over the line from nice guy to nutter. Nothing turns a woman off quicker than that. They may want to find some guy that loves them like they are the most important person on the planet, but that is built up over months and years. It also needs to go both ways.

If you are going to date have fun, enjoy it, but keep your cool and never ever come across as the clingy bloke. The clingy bloke never wins.

Welshwoofs

krlyr wrote: »

I briefly dated a guy with similar behaviour. Note the briefly! Although not quite the same thing, I was going through a tough time when it all started too and believe me, your kind of behaviour is suffocating, not supportive.

Same here. I went on ONE date with a guy - it was an 'ok' date, but he wasn't really my type and I'd decided half-way through that I wasn't bothered about seeing him again. Anyway, it transpired that his impression of the date was way, waaaay different to mine - he started bombarding me with texts and emails enthusing about me, the date and asking when the next one was. I texted to say that I didn't think there would be another one as I couldn't ever see myself feeling 'that way' towards him. I then got flowers and lots of texts begging me to give it a try. He texted me one Friday night to ask what I was doing, when I said that I was looking forward to just relaxing at home with a takeaway he turned up on the doorstep with a Chinese. He probably found that thoughtful/romantic....I found it creepy and awkward.

It came to a head one day when he texted me to say he was ill with a cold; I replied wishing him well and got on with my day's work. I had lots of conference calls so turned my personal mobile silent and left it in another room. When I got to the end of the day I checked my phone and there were literally dozens of missed calls and texts asking where I was, what I was up to and why I was ignoring him when he was ill. I was annoyed and decided to reply once I'd walked my dog and calmed down....got back from that and as I walked into the house the phone was ringing - it was him. I was quite snappy and told him that if I hadn't replied to dozens of calls/texts during the day perhaps he should get the hint that I was BUSY at work. In response I got a load of abuse about not caring that he was ill and that it was no wonder I was single as I was obviously 'a cold fish'.

Needless to say I told him to trot on and that was it. I hate to say it, but that guy sounds quite like you Op! It's like you've invested way more into a casual relationship than she has, contacted her to the point of annoyance and now you're angry that she's not been as interested as you were.

My advice; never, ever do that again because take my word for it....it just comes across as the actions of a needy obsessive and women will run a ruddy mile!

tesuhoha

VestanPance wrote: »

Reread what you posted and think it out big fella. What you've uncovered is what many guys would call classic female dating behaviour and in doing so you screwed up badly.

Now I know many ladies of the forum will disagree with what I'm about to say and it's obviously very generic and does not apply to 100% of all you ladies.

In your post you start off as described as showing interest, but a little bit aloof. Not bothered about meeting up etc. Classic dating female behaviour exhibit one, now she's interested. Why doesn't he want to meet up? We seem to get along. Rather than viewed as being needy, you are coming across as calm and confident. She wants to meet this guy.

After first date you had fun, but were happy to call it a day. Exhibit one is still in full affect. The fact you are making her think another date isn't a given makes her want it more. What you've done unintentionally is come across as masculine and in control of the situation.

The decent to your failure from this point appears to be a complete car crash. You lost your cool, your masculine cool confident guy appearance. Where did that guy go? Exhibit two, turned off by guy who's obsessed with me.

Have you ever noticed in every workplace or group of friends there's some bloke that's been in love with some girl like forever and holds her up as some sort of perfect creature of womanhood? Have you also noticed these guys never ever get to date those girls? They are too full on from the off. It's not an attractive trait. Constant attention, calls, texts, messages etc. Suddenly their life will be perfect if only they could get that girl! They have gone over the line from nice guy to nutter. Nothing turns a woman off quicker than that. They may want to find some guy that loves them like they are the most important person on the planet, but that is built up over months and years. It also needs to go both ways.

If you are going to date have fun, enjoy it, but keep your cool and never ever come across as the clingy bloke. The clingy bloke never wins.

Excellent post. That's exactly it.

DeeDee74

:eek::eek:2bh you sound too needy desperate and clingy..
i dated a guy like you he took stalking and weirdness to a whole new level, stop the constant txting and messaging her she hasn't answered for a reason..

OptimusNemesis

I'm just not interested any more. She posted a pretty dull message in response to an old Facebook post of mine from a couple of days ago, this morning. No idea what that was all about.

I've been too busy with sorting some stuff in my bathroom today. I only texted her the once this afternoon, just to ask her how she was getting on. No response. Frankly I no longer care.

I'm planning a day out tomorrow at the moment so will enjoy the weekend before I go back to work on Monday and no longer care what she does.

- G

ikkle87

you obviously do care or you wouldn't have text her again today.