Really want someone to talk to right now. :-(

meritaten

me third! do not email her tomorrow! give her some space!
leave it at least three days if not a week! perhaps she felt a bit 'smothered' - while us girls love to be considered pampered etc - we don't want a guy 'breathing down our necks'!

System

Have you heard the phrase 'treat them mean and keep them keen'. Girls love a b@stard, love the bad guys. Now I'm not saying you should start being horrible to girls but there is no mystery to you, you hold nothing back.

Please dont change, this is what sets you apart from the shallow hearted men out there.

Personally, if she had got any decency in her she would contact you to apologise.

Concentrate on looking after your Mum, she needs you.

meer53

Try not to be so needy. This is one sure fire way to put women off. We like our blokes to be strong and assertive, not waffling and attention seeking ! Obviously i don't know you, but this is how you come across in your posts.

Concentrate on your Mum, she will always love you, needy or not

Errata

OK - you've sorted out the ex for the time being. You're about to go to your mum's and sort her out. Both of those are positives.
Don't email, txt, fakebook, phone or anything else with your latest girl friend. Some things are meant to be, and your relationship wasn't. If you accept that, it's another positive.

podperson

Firstly, well done on calling the exs bluff. I think it's good that you're standing up for yourself a bit more - as others have said I think you can be too nice at times. I would also be saying to your mum that she's worrying and upsetting you by refusing to go to the doctors and does she really want you to have to travel down there to take her - if she won't go for herself then she might feel guilted into going for you.

With the current girl, I do agree to a point that you have perhaps being coming on a bit strong. She's been moved, what 3 days? and you've been ringing, texting, emailing, sending her flowers and then asking her 'where things are going?' - and I'm sorry but the words are just being picky if you're asking how she feels about things now she's moved then it's basically the same conversation. She'll be stressed, worried about moving, trying to settle into a new home, new job, new country - and it might have been a little overwhelming. But that said if you told her about your mum then I would expected her to try and be a little more sympathetic and not fly of the handle. I would give her some space - and that doesn't mean 'wait until tomorrow before emailing/texting her again' but some actual space, at least a few days. If she's still interested then she will contact you, probably with an apology for over-reacting at least - if not then it's better to know where you stand.

OptimusNemesis

Thanks for all the messages.

Right now I'm a bit conflicted. I have been there for her when she needed me on a few occasions and although she did ask about it, as soon as I said about it she just cut completely dead. I'm pretty annoyed as I've never done that to her. I've even offered to help when she's had some problems - when some guy was hitting on her at work that wouldn't leave her alone, I went over to hers for the weekend and sat with her at a party to make sure he didn't come near. She was so scared he was going to try something that she wasn't going to go to her own leaver's party. She did thank for me doing that and, admittedly, it was a bit of an opportunity for me to spend time with her and do my knight in shining armour bit but it isn't the only time I've helped her.

I've paid for stuff for her, I gave her 5 seasons of her favourite TV show on DVD - it was helping me out a bit as I wanted to get rid of them but I thought of her and gave them to her when I could have chucked them in a charity bag or taken them to a shop and got an exchange or money for them. I bought her a leaving gift and I've also put a book to one side for her that I asked if she'd like when I was sorting through some stuff for her.

Ok, these aren't huge things but I've still done those things for her nevertheless. When I think about it, she hasn't done anything for me except for taking a pic of me with a celeb when I went to a convention with her a couple of weeks back (and she wasn't really happy about doing that) and paying for an orange juice for me the other day. I've never really even had a compliment from her.

I'm not really keeping a tally but those things have just suddenly sprung to mind and it does now feel a little one sided. I was there for her when she was depressed, I put up with some pretty short responses from her and talked things over with her until she was happier. I've never had a 'thinking of you' type message or gift or indeed much of anything that makes me think she was thinking of me.

Now I've just wanted to talk some stuff over with her and she's acting like this. I'm actually pretty annoyed and really tempted to say thanks a lot for your support and enjoy the DVDs, flowers and God knows what else I've given you.

Really tempted to text it now but I expect I'll only regret it 10 mins later. it wouldn't have hurt her to have asked how I am though. Or even how my mum is.

Quite angry now. So angry in fact I've taken a look at this:

http://www.rsvp-uk.com/singles-events.htm?gclid=COfDipv6nLMCFYXLtAodjmoAfg

No idea if anybody has any experience of that but that sounds like a good way to meet people. Anybody know whether it's reputable? I may at least make some new friends there.

I do like her but I'm beginning to feel like I've been used now. I expect I'm going to get some kind of message tomorrow saying she's no longer interested anyway so I'd rather get cracking on something else so that I can just say "meh" when she does it.

- G

Lotus-eater

You're a bit more into her, than she is to you, I'm afraid. It's pretty obvious from what you write, that it's going no where.

So do what the rest of us do, write it off to experience and find the next one.

Errata

Now I've just wanted to talk some stuff over with her and she's acting like this

In that case, she's the very last person you need to talk to.
Move on, get a hobby.

OptimusNemesis

A couple of things - it sounds like my mum may be ok. I'm playing it by ear a bit so may still go off to Devon tomorrow but I'm a bit relieved.

I know people said not to text but I just wanted to text and let her know my mum is ok. She did reply and said she was glad to hear it. I replied and apologised for today and asked whether we could just go from tomorrow and forget this stupid day. No text back but I get the response anyway.

I've now deleted her pics and also all her contact details from my phone. Frankly, I don't want someone that can't forgive a mistake. Everybody makes them and she is behaving like I've done something absolutely unforgivable. I want someone that is reasonable - not someone who blows their stack when someone is having a bad day. I'm glad I've found this out about her now.

I've reinstated my dating profile - my match must be out there somewhere. Unfortunately it isn't her.

- G

*max*

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

A couple of things - it sounds like my mum may be ok. I'm playing it by ear a bit so may still go off to Devon tomorrow but I'm a bit relieved.

I know people said not to text but I just wanted to text and let her know my mum is ok. She did reply and said she was glad to hear it. And you should have left it at that, not gone on (as seems to be a pattern of yours) and...: I replied and apologised for today and asked whether we could just go from tomorrow and forget this stupid day. No text back but I get the response anyway.

I've now deleted her pics and also all her contact details from my phone. Frankly, I don't want someone that can't forgive a mistake. Everybody makes them and she is behaving like I've done something absolutely unforgivable. I want someone that is reasonable - not someone who blows their stack when someone is having a bad day....which is exactly what you've just done yourself. I'm glad I've found this out about her now.

I've reinstated my dating profile - my match must be out there somewhere. Unfortunately it isn't her.

- G

I'm not sure what more we can tell you that hasn't already been said numerous times, really. You don't seem to see what you've done wrong, it's all her fault in your mind. I think you're behaving like a bit of a drama queen to be honest, being needy and pushy, analysing every little thing, overreacting when you don't get the response you want, dissing her and being bitter about the things you've given her (nobody forced btw, you wanted to give her those things, it shouldn't have come with a catch or an expectation of being "owed" anything in return).

I think you should leave it alone now. Stop calling/texting/emailing her. Even if there was a chance you could have got back together, after the things you have said about her here, I'm not sure it would be for the best!

Do something else, go out, find a hobby, meet friends. Don't jump in immediately and try to meet other girls, because chances are it will be the same story all over again, with the added bonus of the bitterness you are feeling right now. Relax.