Really want someone to talk to right now. :-(

OptimusNemesis

Pretty much what the thread title says.

I've an absolutely terrible day. Not sure if you read my earlier post in another thread but I've made a terrible mess of things with someone I really like. I blamed her at the time but it's more likely my fault. I think I've been texting her too much and now she's !!!!ed off with it.

Just having a lot of problems right now and I thought I could talk to her the same way she has been able to talk to me about her issues over the last few weeks, but I think all I've done is annoy her. So now I've ruined that. We started speaking again a bit earlier but she's suddenly stopped speaking again so guess she's fed up with me.

My mum is unwell - she came and visited me at the start of the week but had to go home as she was very ill. I actually had an argument with her about it as she phoned the NHS Direct line and they told her to go straight to a doctor. She refused and kept saying she didn't want to go out as she'd been out enough that day. In the end I had to threaten to order a taxi and carry her out to it and then carry from it to the doctor when it arrived! lol

Anyway, she has gone home now and called up today. She's feeling really ill again. Now I'm going to have to go all the way to Devon and sort that out because she still won't go and see a doctor.

My ex-gf who lived with me for 4 years is now suddenly demanding money because she spoke to someone and they told her that she could have got some money out of moving out. I did offer money at the time but she was quite friendly then and signed everything off and said she didn't want it. I'm reading between the lines a bit but I suspect she needs the money for something (probably debt knowing her) I've offered several thousand pounds but that's not enough according to her, so now she's telling me she's going to get a solicitor. I could really do without all that right now.

On top of all of that I'm really feeling lonely being at home this week. It doesn't normally bother me but nearly all my friends are gone from my home town now and those that are still here have families and things so have no time to talk.

Feeling really down right now - I'm not usually like this but I had one good thing up until today and I've managed to trash that too. I just want to go to bed right now to be honest. :-(

- G

hieveryone

It's rubbish when everything seems to come at once eh.

I've not read your other post, I'll have a look for it. Is this the girl that moved away?

Your mum is your most important priority. Not someone you like or an ex girlfriend. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's true. Carry out your threat of taking your mum to the doctors yourself if needs be.

Revoke any offers of 'several thousand pounds' to your ex immediately! I'm not sure of the actual 'law' regarding it, but I doubt you're in any position to have to offer her money.

Anyway, do something that will at least cheer you up a little immediately. Watch your fave programme on TV? Turn music up really loudly?

System

You needed her too much.... thats the only thing your guilty of.

Her loss.

Tomorrow is a new day.

OptimusNemesis

hieveryone wrote: »

It's rubbish when everything seems to come at once eh.

I've not read your other post, I'll have a look for it. Is this the girl that moved away?

Your mum is your most important priority. Not someone you like or an ex girlfriend. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's true. Carry out your threat of taking your mum to the doctors yourself if needs be.

Revoke any offers of 'several thousand pounds' to your ex immediately! I'm not sure of the actual 'law' regarding it, but I doubt you're in any position to have to offer her money.

Anyway, do something that will at least cheer you up a little immediately. Watch your fave programme on TV? Turn music up really loudly?

Yeah, it is pretty rubbish. lol

Yes, she's moved to Northern Ireland. I think it may as well be Mars now though as I doubt she'll want to see me now. She probably thinks I'm a nutter! lol I sent her a message on Facebook and apologised for all the texts and told her the truth that I have been having a few problems. I suspect I'll either just never hear from her again or I'll get a text or email sometime tomorrow saying she doesn't want to know me any more.

My mum is definitely the priority - which is why I'm off to Devon first thing tomorrow morning.

I'll just have to wait and see what my ex comes up with. I'm hoping she is just trying it on to see what she can get out of me and there's nothing more to it than that.

Tried music and TV but I'm really not in the mood for anything right now. I thought the girl I'd been seeing for the last 6 weeks was a friend as well. I've talked through stuff with her when she was down but when it's round the other way, she just doesn't want to know. Maybe it is better that it doesn't go any further. Feel quite sick from it all at the moment.

- G

choccybuttons

Hi

I remember tour earlier posts about this lass moving away. She probably has lots on her plate too with moving and starting a new job. If she isn't replying to text straight away, she is probably busy don't take it personally. It could be has for her too as there isn't much she can do to help as she is so far away so she might be feeling a little lost too

VestanPance

This isn't intended to come across as being nasty, but I do think you need to toughen up a bit. You come across as a bit of a soft lad.

Particularly where the ex is concerned. You settled and "signed" things off and now she's back for money. Now even dealing with the split financially in a positive and friendly manner I would assume you both signed everything off legally, meaning she a no claim to anything. Personally on that one I'd call her bluff and tell her to !!!! off and call a solicitor if she thinks she has the slightest claim. Chances are she just thinks she'll extort some money out you because you're too nice and don't want conflict.

On the current squeeze. You seemed to be mad for that girl after one date, even though you knew she was off. It really does sound like you need to relax a bit when dating and let things evolve. A woman will like a man that is thoughtful and interested, but not one that is needy and clingy. There's a very distinct difference.

As others have said your priority is making sure your mum is taken care of. That's what you should focus on.

marisco_2

Looking from the outside in I dont think you did have that good a thing with this new person in your life. You stated that you thought you could talk to her the same way she has been able to talk through her recent issues with you. So you have been there for her and helped her when she needed it most. Reading between the lines a bit it sounds that now the shoe is on the other foot she isn't interested in returning the favour and being there for you. Charming hey, what a catch she is!!!!!

As for your mum. Well you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. You spoke sense to her and she ignored it, no doubt worrying you silly as you could see she was not well. Now her refusal to seek medical treatment means she is miles away and you still see it as being down to you to get her treatment. However that is your decision. Unless she is on deaths door and unable to call a cab and get to her doctor by herself I dont think you should trek down to Devon to sort it all out.

From your posts on here you come across as a nice guy. Maybe a little too nice. Start putting your foot down and standing your ground with people who mess you around and try to take you for granted. It is up to you how you proceed with the ex demanding cash. You stopped being together, split any assets in a manner you were both happy with at the time and went your own ways. If as you suspect, she has got into debt since, that is solely her problem and not for you to resolve. She cant come back and insist you clear up her mess, if you give in this time she will never leave you alone. Dont give her any cash till you have spoken to a solicitor and clarified exactly where you stand in the eyes of the law. I bet you a pound to a penny she has no comeback on you whatsoever and you owe her nothing. If that is what the solicitor advises get him to put it in writing to the jumped up little madam and give her a well deserved wake up call.

Go have a stiff drink, watch some rubbish on telly and chill out. There is alot to be said for having some time alone and only having to please yourself.

OptimusNemesis

VestanPance wrote: »

This isn't intended to come across as being nasty, but I do think you need to toughen up a bit. You come across as a bit of a soft lad.

Particularly where the ex is concerned. You settled and "signed" things off and now she's back for money. Now even dealing with the split financially in a positive and friendly manner I would assume you both signed everything off legally, meaning she a no claim to anything. Personally on that one I'd call her bluff and tell her to !!!! off and call a solicitor if she thinks she has the slightest claim. Chances are she just thinks she'll extort some money out you because you're too nice and don't want conflict.

On the current squeeze. You seemed to be mad for that girl after one date, even though you knew she was off. It really does sound like you need to relax a bit when dating and let things evolve. A woman will like a man that is thoughtful and interested, but not one that is needy and clingy. There's a very distinct difference.

As others have said your priority is making sure your mum is taken care of. That's what you should focus on.

Not nasty at all. You're absolutely right.

I have called her bluff on that - told her to get her solicitor to send me all the details and I'll look it over. She's now gone very quiet... lol

I think I got a bit hung up on the fact that the new girl in my life has moved away - that's a bit new to me and she is really lovely (despite me managing to rub her up the wrong way). I'm not going to contact her any more tonight - I'll give her a breather. Tomorrow I'll email her, be honest with her and tell her that I didn't mean to be clingy, it was just that I really enjoy talking to her and my mind hasn't been in the right place. If it was just the other stuff, I would have been ok. The fact it was my mum has put me in a bit of a funny mood really.

I hope she'll be able to understand that and doesn't now hate me.

- G

tesuhoha

Have you heard the phrase 'treat them mean and keep them keen'. Girls love a b@stard, love the bad guys. Now I'm not saying you should start being horrible to girls but there is no mystery to you, you hold nothing back.

I think you should give this girl the silent treatment from now on and see if she reacts. If she doesn't then you have gained some dignity and lost nothing. If she does come back to you then you will know she is interested but please keep your cool and don't let her know your every thought. Play a bit hard to get with her.

With future girls, show your interest but don't lay all your cards on the table at once. You can pursue a girl without p!!!ing her off. Ask a girl out but don't keep texting apart from meeting up details. Be nice but casual and let things progress slowly.

tesuhoha

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Not nasty at all. You're absolutely right.

I have called her bluff on that - told her to get her solicitor to send me all the details and I'll look it over. She's now gone very quiet... lol

I think I got a bit hung up on the fact that the new girl in my life has moved away - that's a bit new to me and she is really lovely (despite me managing to rub her up the wrong way). I'm not going to contact her any more tonight - I'll give her a breather. Tomorrow I'll email her, be honest with her and tell her that I didn't mean to be clingy, it was just that I really enjoy talking to her and my mind hasn't been in the right place. If it was just the other stuff, I would have been ok. The fact it was my mum has put me in a bit of a funny mood really.

I hope she'll be able to understand that and doesn't now hate me.

- G

No, no, no, no, no. Don't email her, don't offer constant explanations. Just let her have a rather mystifying silence to wonder whats going on. If you really can't bear it after a week send her a very brief text saying something like 'How are you doing?' If she is wondering about you she will be very grateful for this text, if not then its her loss.

Fire_Fox

Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Read back thought your past threads, you've had all the advice and suggestions to back off, calm down, don't be clingy or overthink it, set your needs aside and support her whilst she adjusts to this new life. Leave the poor girl alone, if you have bombarded her with texts, sending e-mails or Facebook messages is only going to make things worse.