What to do about a partner who snoops in yourthings

[Deleted User]

I have to stress that I have nothing to hide but I do valuemy space and privacy. Here are some examples of what I have see my partner do, I don't know what he's done when I'm not around

Gone through my confidential work diary page by page
Gone in my bag to retrieve stuff without asking
Turns down the tv to listen to phone conversations when I or my daughter are on the phone in another room
Looked through my glove box reading scraps of paper

I suspect he's been through mail and drawers when I'm not in although no proof. We don't live together. Would this bother you ?

Fire_Fox

Dump him, that is seriously creepy.

Ivrytwr3

if he's this insecure what is he hiding?

Seanymph

Yes, it would bother me tremendously. Not because I had anything to hide, but because I had a tremendously controlling ex, and his lack of respect for any boundaries when it came to ME, and his denying me any rights at all is echoed by what your boyfriend is doing.

I wouldn't risk it again.

Saturnalia

You usually find that someone that jealous & suspicious is either playing away or hiding something else very dodgy themselves.

Plus everything Seanymph said.

aliasojo

Glassannie wrote: »

I suspect he's been through mail and drawers when I'm not in although no proof. We don't live together. Would this bother you ?

Of course it would.

No matter how nice this bloke may be, this is not normal behaviour. It's beyond the realms of being a bit nosy, so don't try to rationalise it that way.

If he's like this when you don't live together, what would he be like if things got serious enough for you to consider that.

Have you spoken to him about it? I would have raised the issue the first time I saw him doing *whatever* tbh.

browneyedbazzi

My ex did this sort of thing and it was a key factor in him becoming 'ex'. It's the behaviour of someone who is secretive, distrustful, insecure and controlling....not the sort of person I would want to maintain a relationship with!

Trazy

My ex used to snoop through my things and he was very controlling, he turned into a vicious bully :mad:

I would dump him now

andyd55

hehehe sounds creepy, I turn the TV up when my wife is on the phone so I dont have to listen!

Gra76

Sounds like he has serious trust issues!

HeatherintheHills

Have you asked him why he does it? What does he say?

I couldn't put up with that sort of behaviour.