What to do about a partner who snoops in yourthings

pogofish

Seanymph wrote: »

Yes, it would bother me tremendously. Not because I had anything to hide, but because I had a tremendously controlling ex, and his lack of respect for any boundaries when it came to ME, and his denying me any rights at all is echoed by what your boyfriend is doing.

I wouldn't risk it again.

This

Trazy wrote: »

My ex used to snoop through my things and he was very controlling, he turned into a vicious bully :mad:

I would dump him now

And this.

Behaviour like this is a very serious warning sign for the future - It will undoubtedly escalate.

And my experience is the same. An ex who became more and more controlling as the relationship built and eventually her contriolling/massive insecurity problems drove the relationship into very bad places. Never again!

busiscoming2

Sounds to me like he is suspicious and inevitably controlling. I wouldn't put up with it, but I'd have to ask him what he thinks he is doing and then dump him, no matter how nice he is now.

juliebunny

As a naturally nosey person, I have been through bits of my ex-partners phone and diary - but I always did it in front of him, to see whether he would let me. This is because I was cheated on by the last one and only found out by snooping through the computer at his messages - but I only did that because he had aroused my suspicions in other way - would not have occured to me otherwise to be remoted interested. I am definitely the jealous type, but there is a line to be drawn. Turning down the phone to ear wig to your calls is nosey - but your daughters - that is creepy and I would not like that.
Does he have a key to your house....?
I think a lot would depend on his reaction when you asked him about it - does he do it in front of you?

HeadAboveWater

Totally unacceptable! As you say, you've nothing to hide, but everyone is entitled to their privacy! He has no right to be snooping through your things. Maybe he has some (serious!) trust issues?
Why's he in your house when you're not there if you don't live together? How long have you been seeing him?

sassyblue

Leave some messages in your diary and on scraps of paper in the places he looks saying....

'Snooping again? YOU'RE DUMPED'

roxannafy48

Darling, I've been there and unfortunately it usually does not get any better..... Try talking to him about it. The only problem is that he may get the wrong idea (that you're trying to hide something) and miss the whole problem.

Anyway, try talking before doing anything you may regret later on but you know what to do if the conversation won't work. It will be the best for you.

Good luck!

Hermia

Eeek! This would be a deal breaker for me. Everyone needs some privacy. I don't think I could trust someone who would do this. What the hell does he think he's going to find in your work diary? 1pm - meeting with IT, 2pm - have wild sex in stationery cupboard.

Lovelyjoolz

Hermia wrote: »

What the hell does he think he's going to find in your work diary? 1pm - meeting with IT, 2pm - have wild sex in stationery cupboard.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Oh that brightened up a crappy morning! Wish MY work diary was like that!!

OP, he's a creep. Dump him. Or at the very least, ask him what he thinks he's playing at and take back your key so he can't get in while you're not there.

And I agree with what sassyblue said, leave him something him to find that you think he'll confront you with. At least then you'd have proof that he's snooping so he can't deny it.

But only do that if you think you're safe with him.

prowla

I choose to be with my other half; I don't own her nor control her, and I respect her right to keep things private if she wants to.

Tropez

He clearly doesn't trust you and you have no reason to trust him. I'd just end things and move on.