He made me cry

IvanOpinion

Murtle wrote:

Please don't discourage people from posting there own REAL problems.

Most definitely not, that is what this board is all about. I have no problem with the original posting (a perfectly valid and feasible posting that reflected the position as seen by the poster), it is the tone of some of the responses that I am concerned about - some people seem to have jumped on a hang-him-first ask questions later bandwagon. I thought that in this country someone was innocent until they were PROVED to be guilty.

I have said (at least twice) the chap appears to have been out of line over this trivial matter but he has apologised 'profusely' and the husband seems to be happy. I honestly do not know what else you are expecting him to do?

To put another slant on it and thinking of 2 friends of my wife. If one of them had have told me that she had ended up in tears over something I would possibly have gone down to find out what the person was playing at, if the other had have told me I would have told her to dry her eyes (because she is a total and utter drama queen). I have no idea of the personality of the OP.

I have never, nor do I intend to criticise the OP in any way, I just think there are much more important things in life to worry about than a minor disagreement over a few 'gym lessons'. Keep things in perspective.

Ivan

IvanOpinion

Murtle wrote:

If you felt the posts where getting out of hand - I truely believe you could have stated that as your own personal opinion, without taking the above actions you have taken.

What and take the bashing that I am taking I have broad and shaved shoulders (as per photo kindly put up by Fran), I can take it ... I will just sob quietly into my handkerchief when I get home.

Ivan

Murtle

I don't think it's the broad or shaved shoulders in the piccie that are protecting you

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Fran

IvanOpinion wrote:

To put another slant on it and thinking of 2 friends of my wife. If one of them had have told me that she had ended up in tears over something I would possibly have gone down to find out what the person was playing at, if the other had have told me I would have told her to dry her eyes (because she is a total and utter drama queen). I have no idea of the personality of the OP.

But sometimes "drama queens" get upset as we all do. The fact that you don't know the personality of the OP means that she will get reaction from posters given what she is telling us, without any preconceived idea that "everything upsets her" or "nothing normally upsets her", unlike your wife's friend who would not be listened to by you because you label her as a "drama queen".

malolo

Rex_Mundi wrote:

We shouldn't have to worry that what we talk about in these boards could possibly be used against us in the real world.

Unfortunately this isn't really the case these days, for example people have been fired from their jobs as a result of things they have written in blogs etc. I'm not really sure if the same could be said for forum usage but I'd imagine it wouldn't be too different if it was stumbled upon.

Life could possibly be made difficult for the original poster as it's now been brought to the attention of the man at the gym... before none of us knew his name or the name of the gym so this thread was relatively innocent (damage to a reputation can't really occur if no details are known) but now he is aware that the original poster has aired these views and he knows who she is etc.

I think it was irresponsible for lady_noluck to inform the gym manager of this thread as she has now made it impossible for the child to go back to the gym (if they had wanted to) and, depending on what the gym manager does with this information, possibly stirred up a hornet's nest for the original poster.

Obviously different people have different thresholds for these sort of things (some people will give as good as they get, some will get upset after the event, some won't be bothered by it at all and others will get upset at the time)... it's just human nature.

Fair enough lady_noluck thinks the service at that particular gym is good and she's happy with it but the original poster obviously isn't... different people have different expectations after all, so the original poster is well within her rights to make some sort of complaint... unfortunately it's just been made into a much bigger deal than it ever needed to be.

Turning_into_scrooge

IvanOpinion wrote:

To put another slant on it and thinking of 2 friends of my wife. If one of them had have told me that she had ended up in tears over something I would possibly have gone down to find out what the person was playing at, if the other had have told me I would have told her to dry her eyes (because she is a total and utter drama queen). I have no idea of the personality of the OP.



Ivan

We all need a little support occasionaly whether we are classed as being a drama queen or not. Don't forget here also that this sort of thing can also upset a man just the same. The pre concieved idea is that men are to be big and brave but some men can be just as sensitive as women at least most women will let the stress out in tears

lady_noluck

Right let's set things straight here.

Everyone could see the ops location and anyone from that surrounding area will know which gym she is talking about due to mentioning "charity". There are 2 gyms in the area, one's a charity, one's not. That is why I asked her to confirm. Just to make sure 100%.

Yes, I made a mistake in posting her pm. HOWEVER, what she said in her private pm contradicts what she said in her first post. This is why I felt it was necessary to put it on. Everyone's screaming about reporting him, anger management etc because of the ops first post yet her pm states it's a fantastic gym!!! People have a right to know this before they make a decision on whether he's bad or not. And I mislead her by saying I wanted to put my daughter in the gym I thought she was talking about. Maybe I should have said my daughters already in that gym but I done a bit of "investigative journalism". Being a journalist herself I'm sure she's sone it a few times herself.

As for finding out which gym it is then contacting the manager. Yes I did. As I said I have known most of the staff there for 3 years and I'm not letting 1 persons bad opinion (which wasn't that bad in the pm) ruin the hard work this man has done building a gymnastics club from 39 children to 750 in a short space of time. Had I have not known them then I wouldn't of contacted them. In my opinion she made it clear which gym she was talking about to anyone near her location, thus damaging the reputation of the club. You'd be the same if it was about somewhere you cared about.

I don't think I have made it bad for her to go back there. I think she done that herself by posting on here. He would have been advised about the post by somebody. Don't forget there are 750 children in the gym with 1 or 2 parents each!

So lets just stop having a go at me about highlighting the fact the original post was not even half the story. It's all got way out of hand and un necessary. At the end of the day, a couple had a disagreement. End of. It doesn't have anything to do with how he looks after the children or how the club is run. People need to find out the facts before they make their opinions. Hence my previous post.

Fran

You seem very concerned about the reputation of the gym and the staff. Do you work with them? Are you related to one of them?

It's never been a question of the standard or not of the gym.

It's not "end of" if people are abusive.

mickey_vino

I,m new to this board and have been reading the posts on this subject.Am i missing something,everyone is going on about the post by Lady Noluck.What about the original subject!!! Why are you sending your Daughter to a Gym have you not got the time to spend with your daughter so you are parming her off at some gym club!!What is her age!! I dont think children should be going to a gym anyway,Talk about giving them a complex about the way they look at a young age or are you just imposing your own concerns about your appearance onto your child.Stop worrying about getting a freebie at some gym buy a ball and take your child down the park.Maybe think about going to a gym yourself.Maybe i,m old fashioned but we never needed to go to a gym when i was a kid the park was always good enough and its free!!!!!!! :j :j :j :j :j :j

lady_noluck

I don't work with them, however I have seen the club grow and know how hard the staff work in making in great place for kids. As I said earlier, anyone in the same area as squidgy will know which gym she's talking about and will therefore form a bad opinion of the manager which ultimately would stop potential parents from enrolling their children.

It is about the standard of the gym when people are suggesting the manager needs anger management and could be a problem around children.

I would also report him to Social Services if this man is working with young children. He has obviously got an anger problem.

Definately report the place to the local council

it seems this guy has an anger management problem which makes him completely unsuitable to work with children. Maybe a letter to your local paper as well.

the guy has got to be reported - if he made you cry then what is he doing - or what will he do to someone else in a temper?

report him to the Charities Commission

try citizen's advice

And that's just a few. A total witch hunt based on 1 opinion.
You don't know if he was abusive, you just know he made her cry. For all you know saying carrots could make her cry. We all have different thresholds and maybe she crys easily. I know I do at certain times of the calendar.