He made me cry

Karl_Karlsson

I have to agree with Ivan, this has turned into something of a witch hunt, with a man that the vast majority of us have never met being labelled "ill" and unfit to do his job, based on one side of the story.


Fran, even though this thread was started by squidgy, she did ask our opinion, and it is a public forum, so I dont understand why e shouldnt want to know both sides.

Different people react differently to things; its unfair to judge so quickly and damningly.

Karl

IvanOpinion

Rex_Mundi wrote:

Apology or not. I still feel the guys behaviour was out of order, and it is our right to complain when confronted with this sort of thing.

Not arguing with you on this point, but try to keep things in perspective. Lets not burn him at the stake ... or at least lets hear the other side of the story first. Since the man has apologised what more do you want him to do - or was he just wasting his breath?

From the way he reacted to a complaint I think brings up issues considering that he works with children. How do you know how he's going to react to a child that's giving him a hard time? You need to have trust in a person who is watching over your child.

You do not know how he reacted, all you have read is one side of a minor incident involving adults. I have seen parents shouting at children and smacking them (not abusing) ... should I call social services and demand that the childen be removed from their home? There is an awful lot of hysteria about at the minute related to the safety of children. If you want them to be 100% safe then you are going to have to look after them yourselves.

I'm amazed that someone has decided to take this thread and contact the man in question. This is a breach of trust against all the other members of the forum. We shouldn't have to worry that what we talk about in these boards could possibly be used against us in the real world.

Again, can we try to keep things in perspective. There is no 'breach of trust' .. this is a public forum therefore by posting on it you have agreed that all information is available in the public domain ... in fact I think that legally you might actually be handing the copyright of all comments you make over to the board owner (not sure about this). Also this site has promoted on many occasions taking stuff that has been posted with you.

If someone was saying things about you behind your back on a public forum where all your friends and neighbours could read it I am sure you would like to know that the comments were there and what was being said. I am also sure that you would at least like the opportunity to put your side of the story (to be honest I would love to see the man involved post a rebuttal to this posting).

This is the friendliest forum I've ever used. I like the sense of community that you find in the boards. It is disappointing to see that someone else doesn't value this sense of community.

You obviously don't visit DT much I am not trying to pick an argument (for once) or say that the OP is wrong or does not have a point but NOBODY has a right to start a witch hunt against someone that could well be a dedicated, reliable decent person over one very very minor little incident. There is a phrase involving the words 'mountains' and 'molehills' that comes to mind.

Ivan

Poppy9

I have to say I too am appalled that a PM has been reproduced without someones permission. Bringing it to the man at the centre of the rows attention - has inflamed the situation more now. The name of the gym had not been mentioned or the persons name. This action I feel is now going to have serious reprecussions for this forum on what can and cannot be discussed.To Lady noluck - yes it is a shock when you discover that a place and person you trusted may not be what they seem. Its awful to think we may have inadvertantly put our children at risk. We all when letting our kids take part in activities trust they are properly monitored and persons properly vetted. I remember the distress of my sister when she found out that the Curate who was also a Scout leader had been arrested for molesting children. It only came to light when one child attempted suicide. This man was adored by his parishoners and respected by Cubs, Scouts and school children parents for all his work with the youths. It later came to light he had been moved from another parish previously because of similar allegations.

There was no witch hunt against the Man in this thread. Based on the OP I would say the same.

Rex_Mundi

Ivan

You keep calling this a witch hunt. I don't know how you can say this. In the OP there was never any mention of the gym or the mans name. Most of the replies that were given said the same thing. Report him. Even in your own post you said you didn't argue with the right to do this.

There was no witch hunt going on, just people stating what they thought should be done about this situation.

lady_noluck was given privileged information in a PM and abused this. This was wrong. She was also wrong to publish a PM in the forum without permission.

Even the man in his email states that he upset Squidgy. If she is not satisfied with his apology, she has every right to report this man. In her OP, all she asks is 'do we think she was in the wrong'. To which the overwhelming response has been no she wasn't and also she should report him.

Fran

IvanOpinion wrote:

Again, can we try to keep things in perspective. There is no 'breach of trust' .. this is a public forum therefore by posting on it you have agreed that all information is available in the public domain ... in fact I think that legally you might actually be handing the copyright of all comments you make over to the board owner (not sure about this).

Yes there is breach of trust! The contents of Squidgy's PM was put onto the public forum! A few weeks ago you said in a post that anyone who PM'd you could see a photo of you if they want. I took you up on this.... you would not be happy if I had put that on the public forum surely?

Anyway seeing as you don't think it's a problem, here's that photo.....

What does Ivan really look like?

Poppy9

OMG - I saw him first he's mine :j

IvanOpinion

Fran wrote:

Yes there is breach of trust! The contents of Squidgy's PM was put onto the public forum!

I agree with you about the PM but I was responding to Rex's comment '...decided to take this thread...'.

A few weeks ago you said in a post that anyone who PM'd you could see a photo of you if they want. I took you up on this.... you would not be happy if I had put that on the public forum surely?

As above .. the problem I have is that I am just that damned good looking we would run the risk of causing this country to tilt with the mass surge of females all trying to find my home at the same time. :cool:

Anyway seeing as you don't think it's a problem, here's that photo.....

What does Ivan really look like?

Well guess I now know I can't trust you ... I am off into the corner to huff and shave my shoulders

Ivan

Spendless

When i post i am only ever giving my version of events -i thought that would be obvious. So we are all only able to post a view based on what we are told.

What i am appalled at is that someone has by their own admission mis-led someone in a PM and then posted their reply on an open forum- and also took it upon themselves to get involved in someone elses row.

Just my view as i am sure that the Abuse Controller will now get involved and this thread will end up (with yet another) lock on it.

Murtle

IvanOpinion wrote:

There is no doubt that given the OP the man was out of line but is there not a bit of a witch hunt going on here based on one side of a story? Anybody can have a bad day. The man apologised, albeit qualified and, for the OP the original problem has been resolved - barring hurt feelings. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh but, without going into detail, I have spent a lot of time over the last few days consoling a friend who has REAL problems in their life ... they would be over the moon if this was their biggest problem.

Maybe a little bit of perspective is necessary.

Ivan

Unfortunately you can't afford to have "a bad day" when working with any vulnerable people. As hard as it is, you have to find another way of releasing pent up anger/frustration. I don't believe this is a witch hunt against a person or establishment, merely people's opinions, that wouldn't be any diffrent if it was a shop assistant that shouted at you. You would still report him to his head office, in this case it could be the council or social services.

As for REAL problems, you surely don't know that this isn't the last in a list of problems for the OP or indeed the only one. If we only posted what we believed are the REAL problems, very few people would post as a lot of people always believe that someone else is worse off. Please don't discourage people from posting there own REAL problems.

Murtle

lady_noluck wrote:

As I said, I don't want to upset squidgy with this post (and i'm sorry if I have) but there are 2 sides to a story and I feel the posts that followed the original were getting out of hand.

If you felt the posts where getting out of hand - I truely believe you could have stated that as your own personal opinion, without taking the above actions you have taken.