He made me cry

Spendless

Savvy_Sue wrote:

they might be doing that because they're running at full capacity and have a waiting list, so want to make sure that they're not keeping some people out while other people aren't really coming regularly any more.

possibly, though i am more aware of people who won't/have stopped attending over this policy and are going to the other ones instead (who are all popular) who don't charge.

lady_noluck

Squidgy confirmed to me which gym it was and I have to say i'm shocked. My daughter has been going to the same gym for the last 3 years without a problem. I know both the man in question and his wife and not once would I doubt their ability to look after children. There are certain things that need to be taken into account before everybody jumps up and down about social services etc.

1. The gym does state sessions that are missed can be made up however as it's a mothers and tots group there are only certain days on which this can be done. The leaflet clearly states which days mums and tots are on. If you miss a mums and tots session you can make it up in another mums and tots session. Not ANY session as there are over 750 children in all age ranges going to the club. It wouldn't be safe.

2.Squidgy was offered the chance to make up the session during the week to which she turned down due to the daughter attending nursery. She was then offered a place in another monday session, to which she also turned down, any 2 year old would be knackered doing 2 classes in one day. The only other days would be on the weekend which isn't an option. Older children are trained at the weekend and you can't put a 2 year old in with a 10 year old. I don't see what else the gym could suggest.

3. A refund was requested 3 times which was refused. I know it's horrible for a child to be ill but it would be too complicated if the club started giving refunds for every missed session.
4. This is the reply to me from squidgy.

***Note from Board Guide: I pm'ed early this morning to clarify whether permission had been granted to post squidgy's pm. At this point in time, I have had no reply and on reflection, it would probably be better to err on the side of caution. Given this, I have removed the remarks made in pm.***

I want to apologise to squidgy for misleading you in my pm but the replies you had to your post really got to me. I'm sorry you had a bad experience and i'm sorry if the above sounds harse but everybody has judged the gym from one side and I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about the club.

The manager replied to me and i'd like to add a few things from his e-mail.

I said to hubby that I was sorry for her getting upset but she did seem to go into tears rather quickly, he was really nice and said enough said and done and was very happy.

Its never my intention to upset people but she did ask for a refund 3 times and we dont do refunds,

I said I am more than happy to take any advise on the wording as she finds it misleading

As I said, I don't want to upset squidgy with this post (and i'm sorry if I have) but there are 2 sides to a story and I feel the posts that followed the original were getting out of hand.

Edinburghlass_2

Do you have permission from squidgy to quote from her private message to you?

Fran

Ditto as Ed Lass says.

How devious.

IvanOpinion

Fran wrote:

Ditto as Ed Lass says.

How devious.

I don't think it was a deliberate act of deviousness but agree that to make a PM public without the authors consent is not good board etiquette.

It does however bring the much missing perspective to the discussion and might stop the witch hunt based on one side only of the story. Some people are much more easily upset than others and, in my opinion, this was being blown out of all proportion (but again I had only heard/read one side of the story.

The other point is that the man did apologise and continued to apologise ... I was always taught that it is the ultimate in bad manners NOT to accept a sincere apology. You either accept it, and move on, or you let what is basically something very trivial fester and grow.

Ivan

Edinburghlass_2

Not wanting to put words into Fran's mouth (I wouldn't dare ) but I think she meant the poster was devious in that she states, she mislead squidgy in her pm to squidgy regarding this matter and then goes on to obviously email the guy from the gym personally?? Well I find that quite devious myself.

And just to point out that to quote from someone;s pm is not only bad board practise but not allowed as mentioned elsewhere on This Site.

edited to add I just checked the thread in question regarding publishing pm's and MSE Andrea says it is okay, provided permission has been granted by the person writing the pm.

Rex_Mundi

I don't think it was a deliberate act of deviousness but agree that to make a PM public without the authors consent is not good board etiquette.

To quote from a PM is not only bad etiquette. It's against the rules without permission from the author of the PM.

Technically it's also a breach of copyright. When we write a PM, we own the copyright on the words we have written. This is why permission MUST be given before someone quotes that message.

Fran

IvanOpinion wrote:

It does however bring the much missing perspective to the discussion and might stop the witch hunt based on one side only of the story. Some people are much more easily upset than others and, in my opinion, this was being blown out of all proportion (but again I had only heard/read one side of the story.

The other point is that the man did apologise and continued to apologise ... I was always taught that it is the ultimate in bad manners NOT to accept a sincere apology. You either accept it, and move on, or you let what is basically something very trivial fester and grow.

This thread was started by Squidgy, it was never meant to look at both sides. I wouldn't like to think that an abusive person can get away with having a go at someone "for a few minutes" and get away with it just because they apologise.

Yes Ed Lass that is what I meant!

IvanOpinion

Fran wrote:

This thread was started by Squidgy, it was never meant to look at both sides. I wouldn't like to think that an abusive person can get away with having a go at someone "for a few minutes" and get away with it just because they apologise.

I appreciate what you are saying but the thread turned into a witch hunt without anybody thinking about the other side of the story. Off the top of my head I can remember one occasion where I was called 'abusive' because I told a user to 'shutup and listen' - she had phoned me for help but she was getting hysterical and would not shut up so that I could tell her to plug the power cord back into her monitor.

Also I did say 'sincere apology'. However if that is still not enough then the logical conclusion is that there is no sense in ever apologising - it is simply a waste of breath!

Ivan

Rex_Mundi

It is perfectly reasonable for people to reply with their opinions in a thread on these boards while the comments are contained inside the thread. It is down to the individual whether they take the advice offered.

Apology or not. I still feel the guys behaviour was out of order, and it is our right to complain when confronted with this sort of thing. From the way he reacted to a complaint I think brings up issues considering that he works with children. How do you know how he's going to react to a child that's giving him a hard time? You need to have trust in a person who is watching over your child.

I'm amazed that someone has decided to take this thread and contact the man in question. This is a breach of trust against all the other members of the forum. We shouldn't have to worry that what we talk about in these boards could possibly be used against us in the real world. This is the friendliest forum I've ever used. I like the sense of community that you find in the boards. It is disappointing to see that someone else doesn't value this sense of community.