In the words of Yazz...

*Robin*

Hi Fudgie - am so relieved and pleased to see you posting again; thank you!

I'd like to have a very private conversation with your Mum (which she probably wouldn't enjoy!).
But your position has been clarified; you've definitely left the nest behind you now - so no more buying expensive gifts for Mum until you're debt-free!

Good luck with the BF; hope he accepts that your attitude - and therefore the balance within the relationship - has changed.

Are you still walking to work?

Fudgefund

Thanks MT, I always appreciate your posts, they always seem supportive and understanding! I do know exactly what you mean about my ex - the first time we dated things were terrible and I drifted along with them, celebrating tiny victories which shouldn't have needed to be won, so I'm approaching this reunion with a lot of caution. It's difficult to not let things that happened the first time round bubble up again when he's not doing anything wrong though. It's a fine line between standing my ground and coming across like a bit of a cow. I think we're both feeling things out a bit. I'm busy over the next few weeks so we shall see what happens.

Thanks for the effusive welcome back Robin, it's good to be back! I'm avoiding my Mum a tiny bit at the moment, as much as I can without upsetting her. I'm going home this weekend though, so hopefully she'll be in a more understanding mode. Not holding my breath though. :rotfl:Definitely no more expensive gifts - I've spent nearly £2000 on her since I became ill, there's some psychological issue there which I haven't got much desire to explore.

The good news is that I walked to work twice last week, and I've shifted 2 pounds. I've also made it through another week completely sober so I'm pleased with that. Hoping to go for a 5k run tomorrow just to round out my wholesomeness nicely.

The good news about the boyfriend being back on the scene is that he's always been a very generous guy. He's been saving his 50ps because he knows I like them, so I'm up £4 in 50ps. He also paid £6.50 to my £2 last night for dinner and snacks, so my finances are lasting out. I won't let him do it long term or anything big, but he knows I'm trying to get debt free and is very supportive, and he knows I need to make it through frugal February. It'll be my turn to pay for the cinema this week so that'll be £6.80 I'll insist on paying. I also need to buy a little bit of food but all my travel costs are paid so I'm hoping to last the week on £40. If I can do this I'm out of the woods where the hotel and bank charges are concerned and I can relax a bit.

This week will mean the end of the 4 Mars Bars for a pound offer in Tesco. This could be both the best thing and worst thing that has ever happened to me. :rotfl:

please-let-me-be-lucky

Yay to 2lbs off and OH donating his 50ps .

Hope all goes ok with your Mum this weekend Xx

*Robin*

As Be Lucky says, yay to lbs lost and £s gained (50p collection definitely counts - what a sweet gesture from BF. Love is built from a million such tiny considerations so maybe there is hope for him yet).

As for Mum - live 'n learn, eh? I can't think of a good excuse for her taking so much off you in money and gifts when she knows you have struggled to control your BP (and your debts).

My reaction may be coloured by a run-in I had with another Mum of a BP person - she was in total denial her son had a problem.. He tried to kill himself but just succeeded in smashing up my car with the one he was driving - which gave me the excuse to intervene and get him to a doctor (he had no insurance so I could have called the Police). Mum responded by screaming at me - in public, at length - for interfering.
I've never spoken to her since, but her son survived his crisis and now that his meds are right he's doing very well - he keeps in touch.

Fudgefund

Thanks PLMBL and Robin.

I worry about giving a distorted picture of my mum; the start of the gift giving was before anyone was really aware of the extent of my problems. As my last major episode of depression had occurred a good four years before my last one, everyone had almost forgotten about it until it all came round again with my sister's illness (which in itself distracted a lot of attention from the satellite child in the north). When I started spending a lot of money, people initially thought I could afford it and was just being generous (I had always been in roughly £5k of debt no one was aware of). As things escalated I still don't think anyone was really over analysing my finances. I spent over £1000 on my Mum's bithday present and fell out with a much beloved sibling over it last July (I think this is when the red flags started coming out for a few people, it also coincided with me dumping my ex). As for Christmas, £22 for a gig ticket seemed okay until it dawned on me that I would be paying for the hotel too, really nudging the costs up. My Mum doesn't have her own income though (retired, not yet eligible for Retirement Pension and living off her second husband) so it was inevitable it would fall to me. I wouldn't want to give the impression she's habitually sponging off me, it was me that was out of my tree and handing out money like confetti last year and it did take a while for people to realise what was going on. My difficulty is how judgemental she is, but that's just a personality trait I have to live with.

She is very similar to my sister, and they live very near each other. When I made the mistake of telling my mum that me and (dear ex? :rotfl:) were making another go of it my sister knew within hours and I had the inevitable phone call. She rang me to say that she was surprised as they had BOTH assumed he'd moved on (nice). She also said I had put her in a very awkward position as she had asked him to be godfather to my niece before we split up and now she was worried about asking someone else. This niece's Christening hadn't been mentioned at all during the break up, and she's now brought it up so my bit of news can be about her. Honestly, the pair of them drive me crazy (for want of a better term. ).

But enough about the ugly sisters (I jest), back to me. I have a lot to do today and I'm still here, in my pajamas, on MSE. I like a good list to keep me focussed, so here goes:

1) Go to Tesco to buy some lunch for the week which will also cover today as I am on a short week at work due to going home.
2) Go for a run.
3) Do some weights, to work on my ever more pendulous bingo wings.
4) Clean the bathroom.
5) Have a shower.
6) Have a healthy, cheap, well rounded tea.
7) Tidy my bedroom.

All good targets, now to getting dressed and getting on with it!

Fudgefund

Annd, we've all made it through Tuesday. :j Worst day of the week as far as I'm concerned, Monday does at least have some novelty value about it where as Tuesday is still a mile away from the weekend with no redeeming features.

I'm updating because I'm as pleased as punch with myself, THREE NSD's under my belt for the first time in ages. In fact, I'm looking good to still have £25 left from my £60 for the week which can go straight into my temporary Blackpool fund. I have no idea how this weekend is going to play out money wise - i'll be fed and will have no forseeable transport costs but I may be going for a meal so will have to be careful. We shall see.

I've also managed to go for another run tonight and do my weights routine along with keeping within my 1200 calories for MyFitnessPal so I'm ever so pleased. Since catching up with PLMBL's diary, it's really refocussed my mind on wanting to be in a nice summer dress in July rather than covering up on the odd hot day that comes along. It's good thing I don't actually live in a hot country, I'd have to only come out at night.

All in all I'm in a very good mood which I credit to now being 17 days sober and making sure I eat a banana and a marmite sandwich every day.

I've also nicked PLMBL's payment a week goal and paid an extra £8.88 off my Barclaycard. A big hand for PLMBL. :T

please-let-me-be-lucky

Aw sweetie, glad to be of multiple service

Good for you on the 17 days sober, going for a run, extra payments and 3NSDs :T

Lots of positivity from you :j

MuffinTops

I love updates like these!

PLMBL sounds like you've got some great plans going on! Will be finding and subscribing to you too shortly!

FF you sound so upbeat and happy and you're doing so well. Well done on the NSD's, sober days and knowing what foods work for you. Brilliant! x

Fudgefund

Thanks MT! It's certainly nice to have tipped the balance of negative to positive days. Back from my weekend at home which was a bit stressful to be honest. Glad to be back safely in the north, eating my usual glut of b-vitamins and not being spoken to like my 14 year old self.

Moneywise my weekend wasn't great, ended up splitting the bill from my Dad's meal so that his was paid for, came out at £40 each. I've rejigged my monies and I'm still on course to have the £60 for the hotel next weekend, my £60 for the week on Friday and the extra £42 bank charges but my budget is about as flexible as my yoga moves (not very). Going to have to be very careful. It's time to chuck all of my change at one of those coinstar machines that Barclays have installed to pay directly to your bank account and hope for the best. I'm just pleased I gave myself £40 breathing room in case something like this happened. If I can make it through frugal February (try saying that after a few wines ) without going overdrawn, I'm going to be really proud of myself. Just need to knuckle down for the last 10 days.

Luckily, it's vegetable Tuesday tomorrow so I don't need tea for then, and I'll be at the cinema with DE on Wednesday so I only need food for Thursday evening. I have pesto in the fridge so I'm thinking some very cheap pasta will be the order of the day, hang the diet. While I was at home I was talked into buying some iphone games for my three year old nephew, so I'm down £5.97 but up Fireman Sam, Peppa Pig and Wreck It Ralph games. I've no doubt they'll come in handy if I'm ever, er, shipwrecked with a group of toddlers. Seriously need to stop letting the under 5s get one over on me.

I should also add I had four pints of cider on Saturday night. Back on the wagon now.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Next time make sure you only let them browse the free apps!!

Pasta and pesto sounds yummy!

You are budgetting really well, it's just such a shame that it's not for lovely things for yourself and not for others. You will get your reward in Heaven :A Xx