Siblings, Easter and Nut Allergy

Spendless

pinkshoes wrote: »

i do see your brother's point, i.e. knifes are also dangerous, as are household chemicals, and you wouldn't leave them in the reach of children, so it's not hard to lock up the chocolate, so maybe that's why he thinks you're overreacting? Personally, I would send his kids (only if they live at home) an EXTRA big easter egg just to make him feel bad!

Isn't the point that the brother is giving an Easter egg to a child who cannot eat it.

msmicawber

This is a difficult one. On the one hand, your brother is treating you as though you have a daft food fad rather than being vigilant to ensure no harm comes to your family, which is both wrong and arrogant. On the other hand, this has the potential to cause a family rift if you let it.

I'm not suggesting that you've done anything wrong, but would you consider going to see your brother or phoning him and saying that you're sorry if you've given the impression that presents weren't appreciated, you meant no offence? You could then go on to explain what happens to someone with nut allergy when they come into contact with even a trace. Perhaps you could remind him that when his children were 4, he kept the iron tablets, bleach, paraquat etc. out of their reach, and that what you are doing is just the same thing.

If that doesn't work, then you can be comfortable that you tried to keep relations civil and pleasant. Also, I'm sure your nieces or nephews will have affection for Aunt Minmouse who always remembered them on their birthdays, Xmas, Easter, etc.

Good luck.

back2square1

Speaking from my own experience, my 10yr old niece has severe nut allergy too. As soon as my sister told me about my niece having this allergy I have always checked everything I buy and do not allow anything in my house which contains nuts just in case my niece comes round.
It is not that difficult to buy an Easter Egg, Kinnerton eggs are made in nut free environment. My parents are sometimes unsure what to buy her but they just check with my sister and ask what to get.
Everyone I know who comes into contact with my niece are very understanding of her allergy and if anything are very vigilant with any food they give her.
I cannot understand why your brother has not bought an easter egg or even rang to ask what would be acceptable to buy if he was unsure. Unfortunately some people can be ignorant about nut allergies, I know my sister struggles with her Mother In Law.
My only advice is to ask your brother why he hasn't bought anything, I'm sure vouchers don't contain nuts!!!

Carmina_Piranha_3

a fair few people think i'm being over-sensitive about a 'food fad' too. i have started hanging around if a certain relative gives my toddler choccy when i'm not looking - now that it's HER carpet he vomits on she's starting to understand :T

but that's just an intolerance. nut allergy is really serious, i'm surprised there are still people who din't understand.

msmicawber

It's incredible isn't it that there are people who still don't understand when allergies are on the increase, and there's plenty of coverage in the press? I caused a furore at a family party a few years ago because I overheard my now (now ex-) in-laws talking about their daughter's boyfriend and putting his nut allergy down as psychosomatic. They weren't going to tell him about some of the food because 'if he doesn't know, it won't hurt him'. I made sure I told him and then he wouldn't eat anything because the way the food was laid out on the plates he was worried about contamination. My in-laws never forgave me for sticking my nose in, but sod them. They have never accepted that he has a real condition, and I couldn't sit idly by and let him eat the food and become ill just to prove them wrong. I suspect Minmouse's brother may be the same, but hope not.

vickypink

I have a nut allergy and even though I'm 22 my parents still get me an easter egg. Tesco do good nut-free easter eggs (although not that many) M & S have a much larger range of easter eggs that are nut-free. My MIL bought me perfume for easter (some little minitures) but this was partly because I'm dieting/ detox thing at the mo! But I thought that was a lovely present. Also for xmas - I know its a long way off but Tesco do a fab xmas pudding thats nut and alcohol free, and they sell our very quickly but they are great!!

MINMOUSE

Thanks for all your notes. Still bit annoyed with brother and Sil. I don't have a big family only parents, one sister and one brother (other than nieces, nephews, dh and my 3 children). My mother has told me, on no uncertain terms, that I have not to make waves with my brother. That I should be grateful that he remembered by youngest dd for her 1st and 2nd easters. I am going to calmly forget sil's birthday (next one due to have one) and out of curiousity see what happens when the shoe is on the other foot.
I do agree that some people do see nut allergy people as not having a serious problem and it maddens me. I have had to raise severl things with dd's nursery as there have been occasions when they have offered her birthday cake when labels etc have not been checked. She luckily has asked them to check to see if there are nuts but this is not something a 3 year old should be responsible for (but nursery is another story).

msmicawber

I don't blame you for being annoyed, Minmouse. I'm particularly horrified by the nursery staff - you'd expect them to be on the ball as part of their care.

Well, I don't blame you for the decision you've made, and would probably do the same in your shoes.

Best of luck.

thriftlady_2

I'm really shocked to hear of your dd's nursery's attitude. This is appalling :eek:

I've been very fortunate with my dd's nursery and now her school. The first thing the teacher said to me before she was due to start was ' do you want us to ban nuts from school ? ', to which I answered 'oh, yes that would be such a relief'. The thought of a child with peanut butter on his hands touching my dd was worrying me to death.

Minmouse, make sure you discuss the issue thoroughly with school before she starts, and that the staff all know about your dd's allergy and can all use the epipens. My school has an epipen permanently in dd's classroom and it goes with them on trips and every dinner supervisor, teacher and TA can administer it. Fortunately this hasn't been necessary.

I can't believe some people think nut allergy is a food fad. It can be fatal
.

crutches

nuts/peanut butter etc are banned in my kids school.
if your brothers children were younger he might realise how seriously this is taken nowa dys.
My children had a small kinder egg each,a £2 dvd and a £1 book as holiday treats.We spent the hols doing family things and at quaker meeting.
if your brother doesn't appreciate his family thats his loss not yours