Siblings, Easter and Nut Allergy

MINMOUSE

Have a problem and need some opinions on this. My youngest has a severe nut allergy - through consumption and touch. We are ultra sensitive to this and do not allow any nuts or nut products into the house. For the past few xmas's, easters etc my brother and sil have given the kids and us products with nuts in them and I have phoned and thanked them for the gesture but reminded them re the nut allergy and asked in future if they could check the labels. This year they have not bothered with easter eggs for the kids. This is petty I know but I faithfully gave there kids easter eggs right up till they were over 18 (even though I was v young when they were born). My children are much younger ( youngest only 4) and I now feel like a Mug. What would you do???

Carmina_Piranha_3

have they given them nothing at all?

my 2 are lactose intolerant and most family buy them something else instead of chocolate (or nothing at all, some of us just get together and go out for the day together instead). my mum usually gives them books and t-shirts for easter, some relatives give money. MIL takes us out for the day to a zoo or something.

they don't need anything, but it's nice to be thought of, children like to feel special. perhaps you could suggest people send an easter card?

for the first few years i seemed to be talking to myself when asking people not to give chocolate, it's the same at christmas. mine are still given at least 5 eggs, we just say thanks and they get put aside for me to eat when the kids are in bed

Spendless

MINMOUSE wrote: »

For the past few xmas's, easters etc my brother and sil have given the kids and us products with nuts in them and I have phoned and thanked them for the gesture but reminded them re the nut allergy and asked in future if they could check the labels. What would you do???

This is a guess cos I don't know but I am used to relatives and their perceived injustices:rolleyes: .

Do they know how to check an Easter egg for labels (eg have you explained). Do they know how bad the allergy is? Is it possible that they think you have asked them to check labels in an abrupt manner and so appeared ungrateful for their efforts. Are they so worried about getting it wrong, that they daren't buy anymore?

Have you broached the subject with your parents, who might be able to shed light on the matter?

Carmina_Piranha_3

have you told them where to get nut-free choccy from?

thriftlady_2

My daughter also has a nut allergy (fortunately she's never had a severe reaction ). Luckily for me though my family has no trouble finding nut-free easter eggs for all my kids. They are widely available -Kinnerton are stocked at Waitrose and M&S' whole children's range of eggs is clearly marked as nut-free.

Sounds like your brother is either being deliberately mean or just doesn't understand the consequences of having nuts in the house. Have you explained that she might die if she comes into contact with nuts ? -of course you have.

I'm not sure what to suggest, but I think you are right to feel narked. You have my sympathies.

Dustykitten

It's always difficult to second guess somebody else's perception of a situation (even with people you know well) and none of us have any idea of what sort of people your relatives are so we are all second guessing. From your post you do sound upset/put out/angry about the situation and that to me is more important than why the eggs were not given. Please don't spoil your Easter or relationship with others dwelling on this. Most eggs this year were just £1 - were nut free more expensive? Think of all the packaging waste that you don't have the hassle of disposing of. Give your kids an extra tight hug tonight and let them see from you that somethings in life are not worth getting upset about.

(just re-read this and I sound like some religious nutcase who has been in councilling! Honestly I and others close have lost lots of close family in the last couple of years and now see things a bit differently xx)

thriftlady_2

Nut-free eggs aren't more expensive

Oldernotwiser

Did you explain that you can get nut free chocolate? I don't think that I knew this and if it were my relatives, I wouldn't have bought anything else because I don't think that Easter is a time for presents, apart from eggs. Is it worth causing a family row about?

lottee

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Did you explain that you can get nut free chocolate? I don't think that I knew this and if it were my relatives, I wouldn't have bought anything else because I don't think that Easter is a time for presents, apart from eggs. Is it worth causing a family row about?

I agree. Apart from the religious meaning of Easter, children generally get a chocolate egg to celebrate. On average they cost what £2 - £3 perhaps, dependant on what type & size. You can't get too much else for that nowadays. Maybe in future, you can tell everyone not to bother & you won't either, the money you save - you could perhaps have a day out/picnic etc.

However, saying all that I decided not to but my Oh's family Easter eggs this year, despite them all buying our 4 year old. The reason being, imo the 'children' are all too old now, ranging from 14 - 22. I await the backlash from this decision, so you may see me starting a thread of my own over the next few days.... :rotfl:

Carmina_Piranha_3

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I don't think that Easter is a time for presents, apart from eggs.

we're all different aren't we. i don't see chocolate eggs as having anything to do with Jesus so to me a picnic, a football, a t-shirt, a book, colouring book, bubble mixture etc. - they're all viable alternatives to an easter egg. if all the cousins etc. (except the other lactose intolerant ones, seems to be a family thing) are having easter eggs my children get something else.

i think there are plenty of gifts for the price of an easter egg or less that would be just as welcome. it's not worth causing a family row but perhaps your mother could intervene if you feel strongly about it and your children notice that their uncle and aunt have 'forgotten' them.

is it possible that they've just forgotten it's easter? if their children are gorwn up perhaps easter doesn't mean much for them if they're not church goers.

MINMOUSE

thanks for all your replys. My broth and SIL are more than aware where to get nut free (Kinnerton) etc but think they are trying to prove a point. From what my mum says they think we are OTT by not allowing nut products and things with warnings in the house so are trying to prove a point by making out what we are being awkward. I am just more peeved that I have always made the effort with their kids and still continue to buy birthday/xmas pressies for them and their kids (now 21 and 24) although never see them from year to year. Mine are still young and he did give eggs to my sisters kids (all adults) but ignored mine. Will be rethinking this in the future. Sorry if this sounds petty but hate people that have double standards and would do anything for my dd not to have this horrible allergy. Even a card wishing them a happy easter would have been nicer than being ingored.