Been called for medical - not happy

Dunroamin

Mupette wrote: »

oh don't get me wrong, i HAVE to work, we can't survive just on the husbands wage, it doesn't matter how ill i am, as far as people are concerned that is just tough, each day i am forcing myself to go to work, there is no choice for us, if i dont work, bills don't get paid, we are not entitled to hb/ctax discount,

.

Just like most of us, in fact.

mazza111

I don't think the loss of a child is something you ever get over in all honesty, especially one who's been in your life for a few years. I still have a wee cry about my wee nephew who died in 1982 age 3 yrs old from a brain tumour. I still get really down about it. But onwards and upwards.

Not all people claiming ESA are disabled.I wouldn't consider myself to be disabled because I'm managing my illness at the moment. Yes, I'm worsening, but here we are at 1pm, and I'm feeling really really proud of myself. Why? Because I cleaned the kitchen floor and cupboard doors. Now I'm absolutely shattered. Now I don't know if I was working these days if I would cope with it at all. Mainly due to the fatigue. DD is having a day in bed today because of her being a few hours at the hospital yesterday, so she's knackered, so had more time for my own place. But if cleaning the kitchen floor and some cupboard doors is leaving me like this, what would work do to me? So I have the option of being in pain all day every day, or taking the painkillers that make me sleepy. Until that gets sorted out, I'm afraid I need to stay where I am.

Then there's my dd who in all likelihood will never work again. Of course we're both still hopeful that we're wrong. Her words yesterday were, "If this came on so fast, it can go away as fast too!" (her illness) So she's still got that determination that she will get better and won't need a wheelchair.

I think people need to realise that disability doesn't mean off on the sick. Many disabled people manage to work. I think they also need to realise that people on ESA aren't always disabled.

earthbound_misfit

Tottyshouse wrote: »

Many of these people do not seek intervention from mental health providers because there really is no need -the over stretched GP signs their sick note and they are perfectly happy with this level of "support".

I just can't understand why someone wouldn't want help. Mental ill health is horrible. Not saying that it doesn't happen this way, but it must be people with fairly mild depression or similar, or quite possibly life circumstances getting them down so not working takes the edge off. But when you find every aspect of your life affected, unable to get on with things or enjoy things, haveing intrusive flashbacks, panic attacks... whatever it may be - then you chase treatment because being well and employed is a heck of a lot better than suffering in that way!

The fact that you continued working is commendable, as you were clearly pushing to get better and keep persevering. However different people have different things that help them cope, and different things that they are able to do. Work is the number one difficult thing for me. Mainly because it combines all the things that are difficult cos of my symptoms - leaving the house/being 'ok' at set times, being around others (cos expected to be ok by them, but NEED to work around others if the job is boring cos if my mind's not occupied, intrusive thoughts start), concentrating for long periods of time, concentrating at all when dissociation/flashbacks are prevalent, etc, etc. Depending on the type of work and even basic things like working alongside supportive colleagues can make a huge difference.
I cannot understand how someone can be that close to suicide, and still put on the 'face' and concentrate sufficiently/not break down in work etc. But that is just my opinion, based on my expereince. Clearly your experience is different.
In the same way some people, such as yourself, suffer but are still able to keep working, others actually need a break and the pressure turned down a bit. Just depends on the person/their particular issues.

But yes, not being able to work because of your problems should surely mean one is chasing every avenue for help?!

krisskross

[QUOTE=earthbound_misfit;56911609 But when you find every aspect of your life affected, unable to get on with things or enjoy things, haveing intrusive flashbacks, panic attacks... whatever it may be - then you chase treatment because being well and employed is a heck of a lot better than suffering in that way!

[/QUOTE]

Brilliant description. I would have paid every penny we had if I thought it would enable me to be free of these symptoms.

I couldn't have lived with the reliving of one particular incident everytime I closed my eyes. Strangely in a period of great stress it all came back, as vivid both in vision and sound as when it happened almost a decade previously. Off I went to seek treatment again. I can only assume that those who do not seek help and treatment are not suffering as I did.

PippaGirl_2

My therapist told me yesterday 70% of the population have thoughts of ending their lives and often that has nothing to do with mental illness, it just happens. There are levels of severity of depression and anxiety that will affect people's lives at different levels according to that severity and to their individual life cicumstances and level of support network. Someone assuming that their depression was severe merely because they felt suicidal would not be correct. They would wrongly assume that because they felt suicidal when depressed that they were as severely depressed as someone totally incapacitated by their depression who is unable to summon the motivation to help themselves.

PippaGirl_2

I just want to say though that I have fought like billy-o to get the help I have got. I too can't understand someone not wanting to be better and out there living independently, working etc. It took me 3 years though of asking for help and it not being available before an overdose got me the help I needed and now I am finally getting somewhere. Help is not easy to obtain even if you want it. But I too can't understand the not wanting it.
I'm on an intense programme of therapy now, currently 4 times a week and though I haven't talked about it with my social worker I am hoping to start applying for jobs in the new year all being well. I can't wait.

Muttleythefrog

krisskross wrote: »

Brilliant description. I would have paid every penny we had if I thought it would enable me to be free of these symptoms.

I couldn't have lived with the reliving of one particular incident everytime I closed my eyes. Strangely in a period of great stress it all came back, as vivid both in vision and sound as when it happened almost a decade previously. Off I went to seek treatment again. I can only assume that those who do not seek help and treatment are not suffering as I did.

Or is it rather... are not suffering as you did and thinking like you did. For example, there are clearly people who don't even think there is anything wrong with them and yet there's so much wrong with them we have to exclude them from society. Seeking treatment is something you'll do if you are motivated to do it ... motivated by whatever reasons... but some people will not be motivated. I've no idea where I lie on whatever scale of 'I'm iller than you are'... and I couldn't care... but what I can say is that someone like me wouldn't seek help because the medical profession has nothing to offer me medically... I understand me far better than they ever could.. so any treatment I get is going to come from me. I'm not the sort of person who would ask people for help.... I'm someone who provides help. I view seeking help as weakness... and I'm certainly not a weak person.

krisskross

Muttleythefrog wrote: »

Or is it rather... are not suffering as you did and thinking like you did. For example, there are clearly people who don't even think there is anything wrong with them and yet there's so much wrong with them we have to exclude them from society. Seeking treatment is something you'll do if you are motivated to do it ... motivated by whatever reasons... but some people will not be motivated. I've no idea where I lie on whatever scale of 'I'm iller than you are'... and I couldn't care... but what I can say is that someone like me wouldn't seek help because the medical profession has nothing to offer me medically... I understand me far better than they ever could.. so any treatment I get is going to come from me. I'm not the sort of person who would ask people for help.... I'm someone who provides help. I view seeking help as weakness... and I'm certainly not a weak person.

So are you saying that people are motivated to claim money and actually put a great deal of effort into getting what they see as their entitlement but not motivated to seeking treatment that could help them get better?

Seems strange that mentally ill people can choose their areas of motivation.

Muttleythefrog

earthbound_misfit wrote: »

I cannot understand how someone can be that close to suicide, and still put on the 'face' and concentrate sufficiently/not break down in work etc. But that is just my opinion, based on my expereince.

As above... suicide is often not a sign of great depression but resolution. It's often reported that people seem especially upbeat.. chatty... just prior to suicide. I think you have to view suicide as a final solution for many... not so much an act of desperation but of clarity.

As for the seeking help issues being raised (by multiple people)... I can only say it is highly conventional to think people would seek help if suffering MH problems... but not everyone is conventional. My own father came close to death from a very minor physical problem... why.. because he wouldn't do anything about it... in the end it was others who forced him to take himself to hospital. I spent 20 years thinking that I would overcome MH problems so I carried on regardless... this was a miscalculation... a pretty costly one... but entirely true... and now I am stuck with the result. I accept that result and I accept the situation is mine... it's a situation that contrary to what may appear to be the case via MSE is one I don't really spend my time focussed on. I might be focussed on the symptoms but the bigger picture doesn't really have me in it... and it certainly doesn't have doctors in it suffice for the inconvenience they are...lol. I don't have family to fight for.. or a career in mind.. been there done that... if it were a computer game I'd be quite happy to restart or press the escape button..lol.. but it's far too late for me to consider changing things via some shrink..lol... after a couple of years it was an achievement to have them get my name and address correct.

System

krisskross wrote: »

So are you saying that people are motivated to claim money and actually put a great deal of effort into getting what they see as their entitlement but not motivated to seeking treatment that could help them get better?

Seems strange that mentally ill people can choose their areas of motivation.

My only motivation for claiming benefits was to enable myself to afford continue living, hopefully long enough to get treatment to recover. Probably would have been cheaper for all involved if i'd managed to kill myself but hell i chose to live. I guess being able to afford to live took off one less stressor to deal with. Those 2 months inbetween losing my job and claiming were dangerous times health wise. It could have gone either way.