Nice people thread part 7 - a thread in its prime

zagubov

Never extended a house. First house we split a bedroom into a a smaller bedroom plus a nursery/office. Helped sell the house for a good price.

Second house had a very basic conservatory but a kitchden the size of a wardrobe. We extended it forward into our hall.

Final house has an extended kitchen and a conservatory behind the dining room.

We always tried to buy places that needed the minimum work. Our dream purchase would be a house where we just had to change the name on the doorbell.

i think we've been lucky to find places in London that meet our needs but we hate moving so we try to make it just what we want. It helps that we enjoy viewing houses because we had to do enough of it.

BBC2's World's Most Dangerous Roads has a journey through Georgia. It includes towns CK has mentioned. Including the house where Stalin was born.

GDB2222

I am sorry that you are in that terribly difficult position, but I am delighted that is a sibling who is dealing with it, as it always seemed to be you in the past.

Why did (that person) choose to move so far away?

If (that person) needs treatment and is unable to make an informed decision, the courts can intervene. I assume that it's the medics who bring a case like that. In practice, at an advanced age, it's not such a straightforward decision. One reason is that these diseases progress more slowly in old age quite often. Another is that the older person may be less able to withstand the procedure. Obviously, from the doctor's point of view, the simplest thing for them to do is to hand the whole problem back to the relatives. Probably, if you catch the elderly person on a good day, you can persuade them to sign up.

By the way, I am happy to delete this if you want me to.

silvercar

PN, it never rains but it pours. Do let sibling take the lead on this one. How old is the old?

Spirit_2

Another post that can be removed.

It is not only the consent to have lumps removed it it is also the capability to consent for any further treatments such as radiotherapy & chemotherapy. If it is hard to get consent how much harder it must be to convey the side effects and be assured that a patient/loved one knows full well what they may suffer.

To be led innocently into suffering when your mind is gone and will not recover ....

Totally bl**dy ghastly. If I am ever at that point my specific instructions are "shoot me now".

I distinguish this from the case of a small child where they equally lack the capacity for infomed consent, however on the balance of probabilities they have a future of sound mind and understanding as an outcome. This is not the situation for the confused elderly.

zagubov

GDB2222 wrote: »

I am sorry that you are in that terribly difficult position, but I am delighted that is a sibling who is dealing with it, as it always seemed to be you in the past.

Why did (that person) choose to move so far away?

If (that person) needs treatment and is unable to make an informed decision, the courts can intervene. I assume that it's the medics who bring a case like that. In practice, at an advanced age, it's not such a straightforward decision. One reason is that these diseases progress more slowly in old age quite often. Another is that the older person may be less able to withstand the procedure. Obviously, from the doctor's point of view, the simplest thing for them to do is to hand the whole problem back to the relatives. Probably, if you catch the elderly person on a good day, you can persuade them to sign up.

By the way, I am happy to delete this if you want me to.

PN, GDB has spoken my thoughts for me. The two main benefits of great age are
-tumours grow slow
-transplants reject slow (if ever).
There might be others but I've not heard of them.
I'm sorry it's happened but can I say I'm pleased for you it's somebody else's job to sort this out as it always seemed to be your job to do everything (and no I don't think you were misrepresenting your situation).

Happy to delete if requested.

Generali

Can Enduring Power of Attorney be given by The Old concerned? That what my Dad did when he had Alzheimer's. It meant my Mum could make decisions regarding money, medical treatment etc.

She still got some rubbish about It's Data Protection Innit but it meant with a little perserverance she could get stuff done. It was very helpful in the last year before he climbed up the curtain and joined the Choir Invisible (died for non Python watchers).

zagubov

On a totally trivial note, we all know my new car was a bargain because it would need a lot of work to keep it going. My garage in S London (who're at the far end of the world but never pad their bills) soon warned me it was overdue having a vital part expensively replaced (at £300+) that would cost a bomb (£1500+) if it went wrong. I put off them doing it as we were skint but now warning lights came on the dashboard about other potential problems (we were warned this had been happening before we bought it).

Put my brown trousers on, as I'd heard automatics never have cheap problems, and drove it to the garage a long long way away, fearing the worst. :eek:

At lunch I got a message to contact my garage urgently. I was honestly expecting them to say they'd discovered someting deadly wrong requiring over at least a £k' s worth of work.

Nope. They said, good news. My car doesn't even use the part they thought should be replaced. Also the diagnostics indicated that the fault light on the dashboard was probably the fault. Easily fixed and they didn't even charge me labour. Went there and got a bill for £0.00.

They're ruddy miles away but they know how to keep their customers loyal, and they've got me for life.:D

GDB2222

zagubov wrote: »

On a totally trivial note, we all know my new car was a bargain because it would need a lot of work to keep it going. My garage in S London (who're at the far end of the world but never pad their bills) soon warned me it was overdue having a vital part expensively replaced (at £300+) that would cost a bomb (£1500+) if it went wrong. I put off them doing it as we were skint but now warning lights came on the dashboard about other potential problems (we were warned this had been happening before we bought it).

Put my brown trousers on, as I'd heard automatics never have cheap problems, and drove it to the garage a long long way away, fearing the worst. :eek:

At lunch I got a message to contact my garage urgently. I was honestly expecting them to say they'd discovered someting deadly wrong requiring over at least a £k' s worth of work.

Nope. They said, good news. My car doesn't even use the part they thought should be replaced. Also the diagnostics indicated that the fault light on the dashboard was probably the fault. Easily fixed and they didn't even charge me labour. Went there and got a bill for £0.00.

They're ruddy miles away but they know how to keep their customers loyal, and they've got me for life.:D

I expect that your message box is full up with people asking for their details.

zagubov

GDB2222 wrote: »

I expect that your message box is full up with people asking for their details.

It's started already. They're the wrong side of London from you (Streatham/Norbury) or I'd recommend them to you.

Generali

I guess that's where I was 'lucky'. My dad was savvy enough to realise that he was FUBAR'd before things got bad. He also realized that he was mostly going to drift into blissful oblivion while the rest of us tried to cope.

It was scarring quite honestly, not nice at all although my dad was an extremely nice person (although not a Nice Person).

My suggestion would be to get EPA and then do what's right for them. The tears and hatred are hard, very hard, but that's going to come anyway regardless.

I guess the other way to go is palliative care only: chemo etc isn't fun and perhaps quality rather than quantity of life should have a premium.