Nice people thread part 7 - a thread in its prime

vivatifosi

Please don't apologise Gen. I think what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and that's not a bad thing imo.

GDB2222

I was sorry to read your story, Gen. I hadn't realised how broke you were when you went to Oz. You hadn't said that before, or you hadn't spelt it out clearly enough to penetrate my addled brain. The general public view is that the hedge fund managers did okay for themselves, and it was just their clients who suffered, so it's good that you have set the matter straight. It's also impressive that your family stayed together through all that. It says a lot for your relationship and for you as people.

On the plus side, Gen, you are now in a job with a beer fridge. <== Posh alert!

Nikkster

GDB2222 wrote: »

I was sorry to read your story, Gen. I hadn't realised how broke you were when you went to Oz. You hadn't said that before, or you hadn't spelt it out clearly enough to penetrate my addled brain. The general public view is that the hedge fund managers did okay for themselves, and it was just their clients who suffered, so it's good that you have set the matter straight. It's also impressive that your family stayed together through all that. It says a lot for your relationship and for you as people.

On the plus side, Gen, you are now in a job with a beer fridge. <== Posh alert!

Likewise Gen, I hadn't appreciated quite how broke you were when you moved.

I think that going through tough times makes you appreciate when (of if) you make it out the other side, and only then do you realise quite the impact that dealing with what was going on was having on you.

Thanks for sharing (you too, Viva)

Edit: I also think you can learn a lot of new things about yourself - how you deal (or not) with bigger problems/ pressure. Sometimes the things you learn are more positive than others, but they all give insight.

lostinrates

Gen, if only you had told us rather than being so bloody brave. I am sure more than one of us would have helped feed the kids. Even if it was a faceless small supermarket delivery. I loff you and knew you were proud and terrifically strong.....but please, please, nice people, sometimes you have to be explicit in what needs help. The disadvantage of pixelated relationships is...the image can be , um, pixelated. We need to know what is wrong, how.

I am as always so awed by you Generali. I really wish np were family some times, I look up to so many of you.

Generali

I really don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I took a risk.

If someone said I'll bet all the money you have plus your job against £20,000,000 on a flip of a coin. You choose the coin then what would you do? I made my choice and I'm good with it.

I worked for the most brilliant man that I've ever met, he was amazing. One day a deal came in, not connected to the fund. He made perhaps a dozen calls and got a dozen or more back. He raised $100,000,000+ in financing which was amazing. Seeing stuff like that raises the bar; it makes you realise what's possible. It kinda made things harder after I lost my job but by crickey did I see what could be done.

SingleSue

Hi Sparrer and welcome to the thread.

Don't worry about not being from Herts or having a Herts connection...my only connection is that my son has applied to go to Uni there.

I am also a non home owner but for some reason, found this board more to my liking than other boards on this site, even more so when the NP thread was started.

We have all sorts on this thread, for example, I am a full time carer to disabled children, never went to Uni (well apart from Open University in recent times), am fully dependant on benefits (but was once a high rate tax payer and complete workaholic)....and I am a little strange. I do appear to fit in here though, no idea why but I feel comfortable.

I do like science though!

SingleSue

Generali wrote: »

I really don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I took a risk.

If someone said I'll bet all the money you have plus your job against £20,000,000 on a flip of a coin. You choose the coin then what would you do? I made my choice and I'm good with it.

I worked for the most brilliant man that I've ever met, he was amazing. One day a deal came in, not connected to the fund. He made perhaps a dozen calls and got a dozen or more back. He raised $100,000,000+ in financing which was amazing. Seeing stuff like that raises the bar; it makes you realise what's possible. It kinda made things harder after I lost my job but by crickey did I see what could be done.

Life is a gamble, sometimes it comes off, sometimes it doesn't.

I think we all have times when we have thought "If only I had gone the other way". Mine was falling pregnant with eldest son, he wasn't planned but because he was a 1 in a million chance to have a baby, there was no way I was going to terminate the pregnancy.

Ok, it was the wrong decision financially as I was the main earner and it was the wrong time in regards to maternity leave and payments (it is so much more generous now, the poo which hit the fan for us then, would not have happened if it was happening now) but emotionally, it was the right thing to do....I would never be without the miracle that is James, my million to one chance.

Maybe also, I should have made the decision not to come downstairs that night when I challenged now ex about things...who knows, it may have fizzled out and I would never have known he was straying. If I had not have known, I would still be in a two parent partnership with a combined income (by now) of probably close to 100k a year, possibly more.

But it was the right thing to do, yes, we could have had more money now if I hadn't but the boys would not be so free thinking, would not be so confident, would not have done as well as they have educationally and I would probably be in my grave through the stress or violence.

Ah well, we get one life to lead....things have a habit of sorting themselves out for the better eventually.

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

We have all sorts on this thread, for example, I am a full time carer to disabled children, never went to Uni (well apart from Open University in recent times), am fully dependant on benefits (but was once a high rate tax payer and complete workaholic)....and I am a little strange. I do appear to fit in here though, no idea why but I feel comfortable.

You fit in here, Sue, because you are a nice person. All the Herts/Jewish/scientist/mushroom/home-owning stuff is just optional garnish.

I was a renter when I joined this board, with no realistic prospect of owning a home while my parents were still alive (which I hope will be for a good long time yet in my dad's case, although sadly I've now lost my mum). A few unexpected twists of the road, and here I am, owning a house outright (with a comparatively small informal loan from my dad), for reasons that nobody could possibly have predicted in advance. I've fitted in here no matter how any of that other stuff has changed, and indeed these lovely people on here have been a major source of support to me through all the changes. (I have RL friends, of course, but it's limiting to be a single parent who can't leave the kids without arranging childcare, whereas pixel friends are always available even when you can't get out. Well, as long as you've got a decent BB signal, of course.)

SingleSue wrote: »

Life is a gamble, sometimes it comes off, sometimes it doesn't.

I think we all have times when we have thought "If only I had gone the other way". Mine was falling pregnant with eldest son, he wasn't planned but because he was a 1 in a million chance to have a baby, there was no way I was going to terminate the pregnancy.

Ok, it was the wrong decision financially as I was the main earner and it was the wrong time in regards to maternity leave and payments (it is so much more generous now, the poo which hit the fan for us then, would not have happened if it was happening now) but emotionally, it was the right thing to do....I would never be without the miracle that is James, my million to one chance.

Maybe also, I should have made the decision not to come downstairs that night when I challenged now ex about things...who knows, it may have fizzled out and I would never have known he was straying. If I had not have known, I would still be in a two parent partnership with a combined income (by now) of probably close to 100k a year, possibly more.

But it was the right thing to do, yes, we could have had more money now if I hadn't but the boys would not be so free thinking, would not be so confident, would not have done as well as they have educationally and I would probably be in my grave through the stress or violence.

Ah well, we get one life to lead....things have a habit of sorting themselves out for the better eventually.

Anybody who knows anything about your James could not possibly suppose that keeping him was a mistake. He is such a credit to you. (And so are the other two, although we understand that you don't tell us quite as much about them, because he's the one who's old enough to give consent).

And even if you hadn't caught ex that particular night, you would have found out eventually. Even if that affair had fizzled, odds on he would have had another. You're so wise not to waste time and energy regratting. At least the life you are living now is real, and based on truth, and who knows? You may find another job to apply for soon. Those boys are getting older and more capable every day.

Masomnia

PasturesNew wrote: »

That's what they want you to think.... that's what I've got (except single).....

Oh .....

Nikkster

LydiaJ wrote: »

At least the life you are living now is real, and based on truth

I agreed with all of your post lydia (as usual), but I don't think the importance of this particular bit can be underestimated. I've seen what happens when this isn't the case and in my opinion it was worse than any reality.