cant teenage girls be horrible

adelight

Teenage girls are sooo ridiculous. I remember in year 8 one friend tried to turn all my friends on me by spreading a rumor I was bullying everyone! I was not the shy retiring type so it turned into a year long feud of !!!!!ing, hair pulling, fags ends on tights and "you're fat" "no you're fat" type arguments. In the end we both got into masses of trouble, were reported for bullying, lost that whole group of friends and left school with eating disorders :rotfl: Bloody ridiculous really.
The girls who managed to stay out of that junk were always the one who went to clubs outside of school like drama, horse riding etc (it was a posh school, didn't help i was a bit of a chav!).

susieanne

Thankyou everybody for your advice i am already looking for clubs etc in our area that might interest her . She did go to a drama club once i paid for a term but it didnt last so i wasted my money so trying to find some sort of hobby for her thats fairly cheap . At the moment all shes interested in is trying to get back with these girls .

I had more upset yesterday they asked her go out which she did next thing shes phoning me crying to pick her up , when i get there shes stood with one girl all the rest had gone apprently they had all had a go at her it was one girl mainly who was doing all the talking for everyone else but it does appear that one of the girls is going telling everyone that my daughter has been calling then behind there back , so shes got loads of people turning against her now for things that shes has supposed to have said which she hasnt .

I was fuming and i dont know if i have done the right thing but the girl who was doing all the mouthing which my daughter barley knows i went to see her parents . The girl was very sorry and she admitted to just going along with the group . She said she didnt hate my daughter but the girl wouldnt admit to who said what within that group .

Just wondered in these situations is it best to go to parents or go into school ?

nomadical

susieanne wrote: »

Thankyou everybody for your advice i am already looking for clubs etc in our area that might interest her . She did go to a drama club once i paid for a term but it didnt last so i wasted my money so trying to find some sort of hobby for her thats fairly cheap . At the moment all shes interested in is trying to get back with these girls .

I had more upset yesterday they asked her go out which she did next thing shes phoning me crying to pick her up , when i get there shes stood with one girl all the rest had gone apprently they had all had a go at her it was one girl mainly who was doing all the talking for everyone else but it does appear that one of the girls is going telling everyone that my daughter has been calling then behind there back , so shes got loads of people turning against her now for things that shes has supposed to have said which she hasnt .

I was fuming and i dont know if i have done the right thing but the girl who was doing all the mouthing which my daughter barley knows i went to see her parents . The girl was very sorry and she admitted to just going along with the group . She said she didnt hate my daughter but the girl wouldnt admit to who said what within that group .

Just wondered in these situations is it best to go to parents or go into school ?

In terms of inexpensive clubs, what about Rangers (the next step up from Guides)? Its for 14-17 year olds if I remember rightly. Although I completely understand it might not be 'cool' for a 14 year old, she doesn't have to tell anyone at school if you can drive her to one in the next town. I managed to keep it secret all through school, I know I shouldn't have had to but sometimes at that age you have to do all you can to minimise the b!tchiness from other girls. It's nice to be able to separate school with the rest of your life at times! It's really good fun, we had regular camping trips and days out, I'm still good friends with a lot of the girls I met there. I think Guiding has a bit of a reputation for being all flowery and girly, but I found it wasn't like that at all. More of a social cub than anything else!

I would also always talk to the school rather than the parents. Parents will always, rightly or wrongly, only 'hear' their own kids side of the story.

OrkneyStar

I was never in the 'in-group' at school, tbh I couldn't really understand all the cliquey-ness, the wearing of similar clothes, shoes etc, the drooling over the same (cool) boys, the listening to the pop music of the time etc etc. I just got on with my own thing, found my own interests.....art, books, music (not the stuff most of the others listened to lol), travelling (used to go into Glasgow and just get on a bus somewhere- though I admit that is not such a good idea these days, perhaps I was about 16 when that started!). Girls can be so cruel, I even see it in the littler ones at school. Girls seem to be worse for it though am sure some of the boys do it too. Hope your DS gets some interests and new friends and this other horrible (and no doubt insecure) group can be acquaintances and nothing more x.

gibson123

Susieanne you can try dealing with parents and school but to be honest it is usually a waste of time and energy. Take a strong line, tell her to stop seeing these girls and making arrangements with them and that she can invite other kids back to hers. The girls that waited with her, obviously wasn't running with the crowd, why don't you treat her and your daughter to the cinema or a sleep-over.

londonsurrey

There must be other girls in the school, surely?
TBH, even if people like that wanted me in their group, I wouldn't want to join!

Really, get her to develop her own interests and be her own person. I pretty much did my own thing in school, and what I found was that by doing that, even the "A" list girls think you're interesting and want you to join them, and you can then flit between the groups because you want to, not because you're stuck in one group.

susieanne

Thankyou so much everyone for your advice its been such a horrible week .

LONDONSURRY- Ive been telling her for months move on theres other girls but its not as easy as that in the life of a teenager , its a pretty brave thing to do if you do move on because i can imagine my daughter would be afraid of her friends really turning against her for moveing on and it all start to serious bullying .

Anyway theres been a break through my daughter has moved on .

Its early days yet so im keeping my fingers crossed that she doesnt go back to the old group . She has been hanging out with a new group for the past 2 days at school and walking to school with another girl . My daughter is so stubborn so i dont think its anything ive been saying she just seems to have made her own mind up now that she wants new friends .

I am just hoping that this new group accept her and she can move on .

Person_one

susieanne wrote: »

Thankyou so much everyone for your advice its been such a horrible week .

LONDONSURRY- Ive been telling her for months move on theres other girls but its not as easy as that in the life of a teenager , its a pretty brave thing to do if you do move on because i can imagine my daughter would be afraid of her friends really turning against her for moveing on and it all start to serious bullying .

Anyway theres been a break through my daughter has moved on .

Its early days yet so im keeping my fingers crossed that she doesnt go back to the old group . She has been hanging out with a new group for the past 2 days at school and walking to school with another girl . My daughter is so stubborn so i dont think its anything ive been saying she just seems to have made her own mind up now that she wants new friends .

I am just hoping that this new group accept her and she can move on .

One of my closest friendships that lasted into adulthood started when a 13 year old was bullied and then rejected by her more 'popular' group of friends. She was a nerd at heart so she belonged with us anyway.

Best of luck to your daughter, secondary schools are among the strangest places on the planet, the bizarre social structure is like nothing else she'll ever have to deal with.

susieanne

Person_one wrote: »

One of my closest friendships that lasted into adulthood started when a 13 year old was bullied and then rejected by her more 'popular' group of friends. She was a nerd at heart so she belonged with us anyway.

Best of luck to your daughter, secondary schools are among the strangest places on the planet, the bizarre social structure is like nothing else she'll ever have to deal with.

Thats so true person_one. thankyou

Saturnalia

I can't remember who told me this but unfortunately it was after I'd left school, it's the truth though:

The popular girls are only popular with each other. And that changes day-to-day in the catty, backstabbing world they inhabit. And they're usually popular with the boys for one reason only. No-one else can stand them.