4-year-old very stressed about school

flashnazia

lil.smartie wrote: »

Just thought she could be 'being taught to suck eggs' can she read/write/know her numbers already? This is another reason I'm not keen on schools too early as I could read before I went & was bored! lol

Kate

I think her class does the play and learn type of teaching.

She knows her numbers and can write her name but cannot read yet but she says her classmates do the same so I don't think she's bored because of that.

flashnazia

daska wrote: »

Definitely try the chamomile; I used to make a small jug of it for DS2 and just mix it with a bit of boiling water when he wanted some, leave the bag in. It's naturally quite sweet, especially so with milk

Energy levels can make a huge difference to how well children cope. Try to make sure she has some protein rather than just carbs i.e. a sausage, egg or a lump of cheese rather than just cereal (mini frittatas are good as you can use up whatever meat/veg is leftover from supper and they keep for a few days in the fridge).

Chamomile sounds like a good idea; it was a godsend during teething and vaccination time. Having said that, it was easier to administer via a bottle! How to get it down her now without protest we shall have to see!

Another problem is that she has stopped eating her lunch. This started at the same time as the crying. I've tried to vary her lunches but she won't touch it.

mammyof7

flashnazia wrote: »

I hope some experienced parents or, teachers etc can help me with this because I feel really bad about this.

My 4-year-old has started reception class. The first two weeks were fine but since last week she has been crying in the playground and telling me the day is too long and 'time goes too slow'.

Her teacher tells me she 'doesn't engage with the activities'.

I've checked she isn't being bullied and she does have a few friends. She likes her teachers too.

She crying right now and I'm being quite harsh and telling her to stop it because everyone has to go to school and she needs to make an effort to enjoy it.

Help.

Hi, I can totally understand and it is awful :(. My 6 year old cried every single morning during reception class for the full year:eek:. Apparently once parents had left he settled down but it was awful for us as parents to watch. This carried on until yr1 when his new teacher gave him a chart where he gained smiley faces if he didn't cry, he was also given little jobs (helping the teacher etc) of a morning.

I personally think that 2 weeks is still a very short time and you really need to persevere. Perhaps your little one's just now realising what school entails after the initial excitement of the first fortnight.

I myself am a trainee teacher (final year) and I also feel that it is a very very long day for a 4 year old. If she isn't engaging with the activities then perhaps the teacher should be thinking of what actually WILL interest her. Children all have different interests so maybe a discussion with her teacher would help in promoting what your little girl DOES find engaging.

I would also ask what the school does when she is crying in the playground. Maybe the could "buddy" her with other children. My daughter was like this until the teacher buddied her up with two other girls who were the same.

Good luck with it all and I hope she settles in very soon .

balletshoes

flashnazia wrote: »

Chamomile sounds like a good idea; it was a godsend during teething and vaccination time. Having said that, it was easier to administer via a bottle! How to get it down her now without protest we shall have to see!

Another problem is that she has stopped eating her lunch. This started at the same time as the crying. I've tried to vary her lunches but she won't touch it.

Has she said why she's not eating her lunch? I think I'd have a word with the school, see what their process is regarding lunchtime supervision and if they've noticed anything.

I just think she's struggling with this massive change to her daily schedule, and it will take her time to adjust. Be there with lots of reassurance and cuddles for your little one .

daska

flashnazia wrote: »

Chamomile sounds like a good idea; it was a godsend during teething and vaccination time. Having said that, it was easier to administer via a bottle! How to get it down her now without protest we shall have to see!

Another problem is that she has stopped eating her lunch. This started at the same time as the crying. I've tried to vary her lunches but she won't touch it.

She may recognise the taste and be comforted by it.

Re lunches, she won't starve! Having said that, low blood sugars won't help the problem so even more reason to have a good-sized protein based breakfast rather than cereal. I cook a mix of high meat content sausages (black farmer, debbie and andrew etc) and frittatas when I'm making supper and then put them in the fridge so that breakfast is juts as easy as it was when reaching for the cereal box. Greek yogurt is another option if she likes that, unfortunately DS2 won't touch it. It will keep her going for longer without the dip in blood sugar that cereal (especially the ones covered in sugar) causes.

Do many of her classmates have packed lunches? Would she do better if you opted for the school meals?

Fire_Fox

If she is not eating lunch a low glycaemic index breakfast is more important. Has she only ever eaten with family present or with encouragement?

flashnazia

The trouble with breakfast is that she won't eat it, mostly because she is so stressed.

daska

flashnazia wrote: »

The trouble with breakfast is that she won't eat it, mostly because she is so stressed.

Oh bless her, poor little lamb, she's obviously getting herself in a right state. I'm not a 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day person but going all day without food is really not a good recipe for success.

You really do need to talk with the teacher about this. We found that they were happy if we sent in a snack for DS2 so he could have it later. He was allowed to make it known to them when he was ready and they would take him to a quiet place where he could eat without stress. (His case is a bit different because he has a 1:1 due to severe language delay and sensory problems, adhd, asd etc).

Is there anything she might regard as a treat to persuade her to eat? How about a smoothie - get some yogurt down her (but try to limit the sugar).

Sezzagirl

You poor thing! This must be so stressful for you. Take a deep breath, make the camomile tea...............and drink it yourself! You need taking care of as much as your LO;)

My "LO"'s are now nearly 16 and 13 (OMG How did that happen!!!:eek:) and each new stage they go through is scary and worrying and seems unending but eventually they pass and we're left wondering what all the fuss was about!

"I've just dropped her off and she started again. I gave her a hug and the teacher told her about the exciting things she had planned which perked my daughter up a bit.":)

It sounds like she had a bit better start to her morning at school today so hold onto that thought while you plan how to go forward

With regards to your LO, the thing that struck me was that she hasn't been to nursery or play-school before starting school so all this is such a huge change for her. She will need time to get used to her new routine

Is there a way you can make mornings a bit less stressful? If there's any way you can give yourselves a little more time so things are less rushed, maybe for her to take time over breakfast? You could do this by either getting up a little earlier or asking the teacher if you could arrive a little later until LO is more settled.

Routine in the mornings has always saved my sanity. I know what needs doing and so do my LO's. I would recommend this for anyone. Also the good, old "get things ready the night before" as I find rushing round loading bags and hunting shoes a nightmare!

Star charts have also been my saviours! How about a star for eating breakfast :starmod:and one for going into the class and doing what needs to be done - hang coat up, put book bag away:staradmin? then a special treat on Friday! Seems so simple but it has worked for me

Regards the Playing at lunch and to an extent the eating lunch. My LO's have never been able to tell me who they played with at school. "Oh, i don't know, Can't remember, Did nothing!!" :cool: I know that's not true but any memory of what they have done at school seems to vanish as they walk out of the door! Remember, if your LO has just started she may not know the name of the person or people she played with or she may have played with a few different people. Just check with teacher that she is doing something, even if at first it is playing beside someone at the sand box.

School lunch halls can be big, busy and noisy and children are expected to eat quickly sometimes, often more quickly than they would at home. :eek: Your LO might be finding this overwhelming at the moment. If she can have something fairly substantial for breakfast - fantastic! A milkshake would be good to help start the day - and then make sure you have good, substantial snacks at the end of the school day - fruit, ceral bars, flapjacks. She will be ok if she doesn't eat much at lunch-time for a little while. Make sure her lunch is manageable - small snadwichs, little cake, small fruit, squeezy yoghurt (the most useful thing ever invented - dinner ladies should have scissors if she can't open them. I'm told Frubes are easier to open than Tescos!). If it looks "too big" she might be thinking she can't/hasn't time eat all that so doesn't!

Can you grab another Mum in the playground and arrange a play-date? Is there someone who walks the same way as you to school that you could walk with so your LO has someone else to go in with? It can look like all the other Mum's know each other but just say Hi to whoever is nearby and you will soon be talking to someone - weather is always a good opener - why does it always rain at 3pm!! Keep at it - some of my best friends are playground mums! :beer:

Also, and I say this kindness, is it always you who takes your LO in and how does she act/react if somone else takes her in? If she is different, maybe you could look at what other people do and think if you could change what you do?:)

And now I have wittered on for long enough. :silenced: Do keep telling yourself this will pass, keep in touch with her teacher and I hope things will settle down for you

snowyz81

most reception classes, have a snack in the morning, usually milk and fruit. I put my daughter on packed lunches as she is very picky eater and would prefer to see what she is managing to eat. we discuss the night before what she wants on her sandwich and what fruit and if a yogurt or jelly. I would speak to the school, they will be use to children being like this. There is a little boy at DD school who cries every morning, the teacher always holds his hand and he walks in with her.