4-year-old very stressed about school

snowyz81

I agree with the routine in the morning, we get up at 7 and have breakfast together. We then go upstairs to get ready, she will go and wash her face and brush her teeth and then get dressed. I then do her hair for her. She can then watch cbeebies while i finish getting ready. She knows that when Mike the knight finishes its time to go, so she switches the telly off, gets her lunch box out the fridge and starts getting her shoes and coat on.

I really think this has helped as well

flashnazia

Thanks for all the kind advice. I might just go and have a chamomile myself - it's a good job I don't drink!

Her morning routine is fine. We wake quite early and she watches her programmes while I get ready. it's just the eating part she can't do but she does have some milk.

She also has fruit and milk at school, mid-morning.

Sezzagirl

LOL We manage our mornings by the CBBC schedule too! Used to be CBeebies!

Are you sure you're not me?

Threw me right out when they put something on that finished at 8.35am!!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Please don't take this the wrong way, Nazia, but does she have English as her first language, or is she bilingual?

I'm wondering if it's quite hard work for her to be speaking just one language and having to think about what words she can and can't say, rather than being able to swap and still be understood? So she's finding it mentally demanding without realising it?


Please, don't be offended. I don't mean to be horrid. Some of my friends' children have found it harder because of this, but within a couple more weeks, they've adjusted.




Oh, and never have the TV on in the morning. It's a huge wrench for them to leave their shows, and not worth the extra hassle.

Smi1er

Whatever you do don't tell her this is only the beginning and that she has another 14 years of this:rotfl:

It is difficult for them, and they do find it tiring. Reassure them, kots of hugs and kisses and the odd after school treat.

flashnazia

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Please don't take this the wrong way, Nazia, but does she have English as her first language, or is she bilingual?

I'm wondering if it's quite hard work for her to be speaking just one language and having to think about what words she can and can't say, rather than being able to swap and still be understood? So she's finding it mentally demanding without realising it?


Please, don't be offended. I don't mean to be horrid. Some of my friends' children have found it harder because of this, but within a couple more weeks, they've adjusted.




Oh, and never have the TV on in the morning. It's a huge wrench for them to leave their shows, and not worth the extra hassle.

*chuckle*

Believe it or not, her first language is English and people say her speech is very good for someone her age. She knows only a few words of 'mother tongue'. I also picked her school carefully. It's not my nearest but its got more of an ethnic mix. I've heard of schools where the kids speak in mother tongue and the Asian teachers too. I think that's wrong and did not want that for my child.

Sezzagirl

Also, when you see your LO after school, try not to "grill" her about what has happened that day!

I find it sooooooo frustrating that I don't know everything that happens at school but my boys got so cross when I kept on at them to find out what they had done. Also, if there is anything worrying a child, it gives them a chance to dwell on it maybe?

Just have a quick chat, then move on to other topics unless and until she brings it up. Then you can discuss what she brings up in a practical and positive way

ps I'm not really trying to intefere in your life - your situation has just touched me this morning and I hope I might help a little. Maybe it's because tomorrow I've got to start looking at 6th form options for my baby!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

flashnazia wrote: »

*chuckle*

Believe it or not, her first language is English and people say her speech is very good for someone her age. She knows only a few words of 'mother tongue'. I also picked her school carefully. It's not my nearest but its got more of an ethnic mix. I've heard of schools where the kids speak in mother tongue and the Asian teachers too. I think that's wrong and did not want that for my child.

Well, I only wondered. I wasn't trying to be offensive or stupid (even if that's how it came across ).


Mine loved reception - they only disliked it when they got older and had to actually do 'proper' schoolwork instead.

Maybe she's just tired and fed up of having to wait upon other kids to finish before something else happens?

flashnazia

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Well, I only wondered. I wasn't trying to be offensive or stupid (even if that's how it came across ).


Mine loved reception - they only disliked it when they got older and had to actually do 'proper' schoolwork instead.

Maybe she's just tired and fed up of having to wait upon other kids to finish before something else happens?

don't worry. No offence taken. It's a perfectly valid question.

Mojisola

Sezzagirl wrote: »

Also, when you see your LO after school, try not to "grill" her about what has happened that day!

I find it sooooooo frustrating that I don't know everything that happens at school but my boys got so cross when I kept on at them to find out what they had done. Also, if there is anything worrying a child, it gives them a chance to dwell on it maybe?

Just have a quick chat, then move on to other topics unless and until she brings it up. Then you can discuss what she brings up in a practical and positive way

Could you ask the teacher to let you know, at least a couple of times a week, something that your daughter has really enjoyed or done well in? That way, you can talk about something positive without having to get her to relive the whole day.

Also, as others have said, don't ignore or dismiss her feelings. She is probably finding the day with all the stimulation among so many other children absolutely exhausting. Work with the teacher - each child's needs should be accommodated as much as possible - and if your daughter needs a couple of quiet spells during the day, they should be able to arrange that.

When I started school at 5, we were all made to have an after-lunch lie-down on camp beds! I think we ask a lot of our little ones these days and are probably over-stimulating them without giving them enough quiet spells when they can process all the new stuff they're doing.