Drowning!!!

Rainbow_Bridge

Hi there,

I agree with meer53 and the other posters Tonibetha. You still have a chance to salvage your situation, if you cut everything to the bone and contact CCCS or CAB about a debt management plan. We would all love to see you do that, as they will re-iterate what you have already been told. Your current plan doesn't go nearly far enough.

You appear to already be working full-time, and you have been under a huge amount of stress, please consider whether you are physically and emotionally in a position to work more hours. You don't want to jeopardise your main job.

http://www.cccs.co.uk/?WT.srch=1&WT.mc_id=200001&gclid=CNCWneHT07ICFXIQtAodx1QA9w

All the best xx.

Heffi1

Tonibetha,

I doubt you understand what people are telling you, so I will make it very plain so there is no confusion.

YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY YOUR DEBTS!!!

So the plan you need to follow is very straight forward.

Call CCCS who are a debt management company
Call Payplan who are a debt management company
Call Citizens advice who can help you

Stop buying things to make YOU feel better, STOP being so bloody selfish and get your daughter home with you or go to live with her.

Pay your bills BEFORE you buy anything for yourself.

This includes

Hair
Nails
Make-up
Petrol
Car Insurance
Car tax


Are you getting the message yet.

You are being very irresponsible and not taking care of your responsibilities.

I shall be very blunt, if you need a man - go visit Ann Summers !!!

Lastly and most importantly

STOP MAKING BLOODY EXCUSES AND SORT OUT THE MESS

Jox

Hi, Tonibetha, just want to say good luck with paying your debts, can you get any agency work in evenings / weekends / during holidays to make extra money?

Keep paying as much as you can towards your debts, select the ones with the highest interest rate to pay the most towards.

Do you have a spreadsheet with all your incomings and outgoings? It can help to focus your mind and see in black and white where the money is going and where it needs to go.

Can you make your lunch the night before so that you're not in a rush in the morning?

Can you ask your hairdresser what she recommends for a cheaper and easy to maintain hairstyle? Or ask at different salons what their costs are, you might find a cheaper hairdresser in different area (for example I got my hair cut in a Turkish hairdressers in a less affluent area for 12 quid (can't do pound sign on my keyboard!) when normally I can spend around 30 - 50 for a cut in a more upmarket area).

Really focus your mind to paying your debts, make it your priority, it will take a huge weight of stress off your shoulders.

Get clothes in charity shops if you need something, sell what you have on ebay and put the proceeds towards your debts.

It can be done if you make it your mission.

It must be heartbreaking to be without your little daughter, I don't think I would be able to stand it.

Good luck

falldown7timesgetup8

Heffi1 wrote: »

Tonibetha,

I doubt you understand what people are telling you, so I will make it very plain so there is no confusion.

YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY YOUR DEBTS!!!

So the plan you need to follow is very straight forward.

Call CCCS who are a debt management company
Call Payplan who are a debt management company
Call Citizens advice who can help you

Stop buying things to make YOU feel better, STOP being so bloody selfish and get your daughter home with you or go to live with her.

Pay your bills BEFORE you buy anything for yourself.

This includes

Hair
Nails
Make-up
Petrol
Car Insurance
Car tax


Are you getting the message yet.

You are being very irresponsible and not taking care of your responsibilities.

I shall be very blunt, if you need a man - go visit Ann Summers !!!

Lastly and most importantly

STOP MAKING BLOODY EXCUSES AND SORT OUT THE MESS

THANK GOD for Heffi1 - i applaud you :T:T:T:T

tonibetha

meer53 wrote: »

Why do you have to have braids ?

I fear that even with all the suggestions you still haven't grasped how serious your situation is at the moment. To do this yourself, you should be cutting everything that is non essential. That includes, hair, make up, savings accounts, car, car insurance and going out.

Fair enough you're looking to reduce some of these things but they need to be cut completely, not reduced. You simply can't afford them.

Unless you can come to some sort of arrangement with your creditors regarding your debts, your chances of managing your finances are negligible.


I still say CCCS or CAB will be able to help you. You haven't said whether you're prepared to contact them, they really can help you to move forward. The only way you're going at the moment is backwards.

i can tell you're not black. Basically we have kinky hair that needs to be in something as it is unmanageable. So its either braids or a weave. Weaves are expensive, and braids are better.

Both are cheaper than having your own hair (due to the maintenance/salon visits needed). Some pple use wigs but they are expensive and short-term.

With regard to CCCS and CAB, they might be able to help but the long term implications are not worth it

tonibetha

I really appreciate all the advice, i am trying to cut costs as much as i can, but i cannot live without clothes, or doing my hair or making up as a woman.

Having debts does not make me less of a human being...

falldown7timesgetup8

Forgive me if im speaking out of turn here, but as i understand it, your outgoings are FAR more than your income. Every penny you spend is contributing to a higher and higher debt.

Without meaning to sound harsh, you can defend yourself all you like, and justify why you need make up, clothes and £60 on your hair every month BUT if you carry on the way you are, your ability to gain credit will disappear, all of those 0% repayments will disappear, and get higher and higher - and you'll be so in over your head, you will wish you had listened a little more, and regret buying that lipgloss.
I suspect with your spending attitudes, lipgloss will be the least of your worries in a few months, and namely, it will be keeping a roof over your head that will be the concern.
I am a similar age to you, and i too, would like to meet someone, and have children. Setting aside the fact you have sent your little one away (no comment), I am consciously sorting out my own debts in order to make me an attractive and financially stable partner. I suggest you do the same. Most people on here have made mistakes with money and have LEARNED from them. You however seem to be on here hoping we will all justify your spending, and make you feel better about what you are doing to yourself financially. As it is stands at the moment, can you honestly say that you could be an equal and good partner in a relationship bringing that much debt and overspending into someone elses life? Im not sure I could be - hence im single and sorting out my own mess first.

Youve lived FAR beyind your means for so long it seems that you genuinely believe that the world owes you a certain standard of living.

Having debts does not make you less of a human being no ...but refusing to accept reality DOES make you less of an adult.

You can either take advice from people on here who know their stuff and are desperately trying to help you...OR youll soon be the only homeless woman in the park clutching desperately onto her lipgloss and handcream wishing she had listened.

exarmydreamer

I don't need clothes, make up, hair treatments, car or fella to be a strong confident now 30K debt free woman. Being Debt free is liberating and I am a stronger woman for it.

Allypops

No light bulb moment here yet. I had a few flickers before my real lbm so know how it is sometimes.

When you're ready you'll be able to get help here and from one of the Debt Charities.

Good luck

Upsidedown_Bear

tonibetha wrote: »

With regard to CCCS and CAB, they might be able to help but the long term implications are not worth it

What do you think are the long term implications and why are they not worth it?

From everything you're said the long term implications of NOT getting help are likely to be bankruptcy.