Frugal frump to Fab - Astonishing Autum Exquinox to Wondrous Winter Solstice

podperson

LL - it's just heart-breaking sometimes isn't it. My grandma apparently keeps saying she wants to go home, she swears she can manage - but obviously she can't and my dad and aunt have to be the 'bad guys' and keep sorry, no you can't. How did you get on with looking into the nursing home that was nearer to you? Sending you *hug* hun - wish there was something more then that I could do. Do try and take some time for you - even if it's just a wee hour here and there some days. It's not selfish - if you burn yourself out then you're no good to anyone x

Everhopeful09

LL have a hug sound like you need it, your post bought a lump to my throat.

Makes me think next time I'm back at my mum's will go visit my nan she's in warden controlled flat within a home. Got dementia but happy in her own world just hard work on everyone else. My mum works full time and will do a 40-50 mile round trip on her days off to visit when her sister lives nearby doesn't work and hardly visits!

You need to take time out for yourself, don't feel selfish or guilty because you are not, have a nice bath, glass of wine, read a book or chat to a mate. There's no point pushing yourself to the max or you will get poorly, we are only human and only so much we can take on/or do before breaking.

You are a fantastic wife, mother, daughter but please remember to think of yourself too!

Sorry if I sound bossy (I would say the same to my mum)

Hugs EH xx

Bitsy_Beans

My mum makes me swear I won't put her into a home much for the very reasons you both describe the way our elderly and vulnerable citizens are treated is appalling. Given many care homes consist of sitting in a chair mindlessly watching TV its no wonder people go to seed, there isn't enough to keep them stimulated. I confess it's not so much death that scares me about old age but ageing and ending up existing somewhere :o

Anyway Pod and LL both have a hug xxxx I agree if its likely to be your grans last Xmas I would forgo OH and go down to see her.

LL I can understand the guilt factor but you're gonna end up burnt out and in a home yourself if you don't take some me time xxxx I don't have any answers for you but I reckon your OH wouldn't want you to be stretching yourself like this xxxx

maman

podperson wrote: »

Bisty and ww = love the dresses - am sure you will look fab at your parties That website is great Bitsy, I love the rockabilly style dresses, just not sure if I would be brave enought to wear one - and of course, have no where to wear to it to :rotfl:

You could always wear it to the auntie's on Christmas Day!:D;)

Seriously pod, if you'd prefer to visit your family then go. Your OH is good with it and because of your gran (and I remember your mum's been ill too) it'll be easy for him to explain if he feels the need. If you do decide to stay, then try to limit your visit to just a few hours on Christmas Day and use the rest of the time to relax.

Loving the party dresses. The champage colour would suit me best but both look stunning. Let us know when it comes bitsy.

I was up and out to a meeting this morning. I wore my purple dress with opaques and a black jumper underneath. I had a jacket on too so sleeves didn't show but it was a good warm layer. Bright but cold here today.

maman

I know it's not been a good day but I'm congatulating you on the milestone anyway!:p

You really must work on looking after yoursellf LL. I hate the expression 'quality time' but you'd be better off going to visit DH 2/3 times a week than going as you do and wearing yourself ragged. Or perhaps you could go really early in the day so that you have time left for yourself. As DS is working fewer hours maybe he'd visit on his own in the daytime occasionally?

Now the finances are a little bit easier why not have a few treats for yourself? Massage? Few days staying with your friend? Duvet day?

Take care and be sure to have a glass to celebrate tonight!

maman

Here's a start LL!!!!

lizzie157

WW & Bitsy the dresses are georgeous I'm sure you'll both look beautiful. Sadly I'm like you PP and would have no where to wear one:(. About xmas I'm with those who say if it's likely to be your grandma's last one then it should be spent with her. Like LL I have spent some years trying to fit everyone in, keep everyone happy, especially when the kids were small. Then I decided enough was enough and said I wasn't doing it anymore, they were welcome to come to us but we were no longer prepared to drag kids about. These days we all go to my mums though I do worry about her doing it these days but she insists so I go and help her prepare veggies etc the night before. Tbh I think xmas is for kids and for everyone else when alls said and done it's just another day. Bah humbug :rotfl: LL and PP hugs for you both. It's really hard to find good care homes and I don't think you can ever be 100% sure what's going on when you aren't there, I fear having to go into one in old age. Hopefully I'l be like mum and dad and be v. fit for my age.Look after yourself LL you have an awful lot to cope with. xx

Well I've lost another pound so am still going in the right direction. Have been to book panto for me and the kids. Have a certificates night for DS3 next week so a couple of things to look forward to amongst the dark nights.

lessonlearned

Hi Everyone

Just a quick update - first the good news - looks like we have an offer coming in for the house - will know more Friday.

Now the bad news (maybe). I've just found out that a developer is going to put in an application to build in the field at the back of my house. Now of course this planning permission may not be granted.

This particular developer tries it on every few years or so and has been doing so for the last 25 years. Every time the City Council throw out his application. However, I understand that Cameron's lot have changed planning regulations and although the City Council do not want any further building and have designated "my" field as Green Wedge, they can in fact, be overruled by Central overnment.

So - it's just a waiting game. The problem is of course that the uncertainty may well put off any prospective purchaser. After all no-one would chose to live next to a building site.

My only hope is that the first field (my field) which contains a balancing pond to help with rainwater run off and avoid flooding will be deemed unsuitable for development. The field behind that is a designated SSSI - Special Site of Scientific Interest and is sacrosanct. It's just my field that is at risk.

Oh well - Ke Sara, Sara and all that. There's nothing I can do except lie down in front of the bulldozers.:rotfl: Bye bye newts, frogspawn, poppies, May blossom and the cuckoo on a spring morning.

Thanks for you all your kind thoughts. I'm feeling a bit better now, had a nice afternoon with Mum & Dad. Took Mum a bunch of pretty pink roses and some maple syrup and pecan danish pastries which we scoffed and drank tea whilst we put the world to rights.

As I left Dad forced an envelope on me, it contained £500. He explained that my poor sister has to find a rather large dentist bill and he wanted to help her out.

He always insists that what he gives to one sister he gives to the other. Daft sausage. Still I'm very touched. It was as a lovely gesture. I've no idea what to spend it on. I joked to my mum Paris here I come. Perhaps that's not such a bad idea, I could put it to one side for now and start a holiday fund with it. I haven't had a proper holiday in years.

Off to cook dinner now, sausage & mash and definitely a celebratory glass of something tonight.:D

Thanks again for all your kind wishes.

mineallmine

I love this thread
Beautiful dresses, lots of exercise. Love it. I still feel achey, think I have the lurgy trying to win me over so I'll drink lots of fluids.
Thanks for the good wishes Bitzy. Let us know how you get on with that dress.

How lovely to hear those compliments Eh

Reading about your leek and potato soup WW reminds me I need get back to reading Why French women don't get fat. The author likes to use leek soup to help balance out a heavy week of eating.

My heart goes out to you LL. It can become a hamster wheel of doing and not realise that varying things can be helpful for others too. Much easier said than done. Maybe we should all make sure we have something that brings us joy each day. Glass of wine. A day in pjs. A long bath. In fact I'm going to google Peter Kay now on youtube to have a couple of laughs while I'm on here

Edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWfORYhJgxY

Hewie29

Hi all

I've just had the worst day ever - so far - its gonna get worse.

We saw mums specialist today and it was not good news, the cancer has spread to her kidney's and spine, she has a 7cm tumor on her lung and 3 on her brain. We have been told (she doesn't know this bit) that she has months but maybe only weeks to live!!!! Heartbroken is an understatement, I'm totally gutted.

She is to have radiotherapy asap and then if shes up to it chemo, but we are not sure whether she will have this, if shes only got months to live anyway, why should she spend it being so ill by chemo, but at the end of the day that will be her and dads decision.

If you were to pass my mum in the street you would not think she was ill at all. Apparently the tumor in her lung has been growing for a few years, but because it was growing down she did'nt know it was there, it was only as it grew to her ribcage that she started to get pain. That was only in July.

Thanks for all your support and concern so far and if anyone is anyway religious please can you include her in your prays.

Thanks Hewie xxx