Putting My Life Into Order

elly68

Hi catandy,sorry to hear about second mum, must have been nice to have money to sub ds.hope life takes a turn for the better but u are doing ever so well

dawnybabes

How you doing ? Xx

catandy

ticking over ok - and thanks for asking - the employed job has become a permanent fixture, ive passed my probationary period 2 months early so stability is the order of the day.


revised offers made to all creditors which have duly been accepted - money left over at the end of the month being 'swept' into a savings account to do some F/F.


my life is coming together and im actually starting to feel optimistic about the future (cos I can finally see one starting to emerge)... its a good feeling!

catandy

oh and will update balances some time this week - ive been very lax - naughty me!

sunnyskies2

Hi There

Not sure if you remember me, you were really kind and helpful last year when, i guess I saw what was coming, but still tried to troop on. (Debt laden with self employed OH looking for a budgeting system ).

I tried snowballing but still borrowed to survive - I start my DMP payments in Sept, making token payments at moment and have bought YNAB - and life is looking brighter.

Anyway enough of me ! I just wanted to say a big thank you again - your help gave me a taste of how wonderful people are on here and led me on to my debt free journey . Also, I'm so glad to see that your life has turned around and that things are looking good for you

Best wishes

Sarah x

catandy

sunnyskies2 wrote: »

Hi There

Not sure if you remember me, you were really kind and helpful last year when, i guess I saw what was coming, but still tried to troop on. (Debt laden with self employed OH looking for a budgeting system ).

I tried snowballing but still borrowed to survive - I start my DMP payments in Sept, making token payments at moment and have bought YNAB - and life is looking brighter.

Anyway enough of me ! I just wanted to say a big thank you again - your help gave me a taste of how wonderful people are on here and led me on to my debt free journey . Also, I'm so glad to see that your life has turned around and that things are looking good for you

Best wishes

Sarah x

glad I was of some help and glad its getting better for you

catandy

I've finally split with the past - as of today, just in fact, I closed all my dealings with business with the ex and his family. its closing the door on 12 years of my life and the last 5 years of my financial/ personal life and it feels like a huge step. and im the villain of the piece (of course) as it was me who finally called time on paying for everyone/ everything like I always had done.


what it does do is finally free me from ex and the business and his extended family - and the drain they made on me over the last 5 years non stop. it means that my life consists of me, my kids and home, working, paying bills and me learning to live again a little - maybe spend a few pounds on me for a change.


at the moment I think im in shock that I finally did it - after 12 years in total of being with ex (been broke up with him for about 6 or 7 months but still had financial ties). the straw that broke the camels back finally? ( a fine for 1100 received this morning courtesy of ex's daughter who has contracts taken in my name) and me being down to my last 85£ to last me and DS1/ DS2 the rest of the month...


at the moment I cant imagine life without all this stress and drama and hassle that comes with it all. I'm dealing with the emotional rubbish associated with it all - just heard my grand daughter (who actually isn't my grand daughter) told the reason she cant have Disney channel anymore is because Nanny doesn't love her... and ex still cannot see that its not my responsibility. He is also struggling to find work, cannot get full JSA due to lack of NI contributions and suggested that I should support him from afar until he can find a job as Im no longer paying any other bills..


I'm sure this is the right thing to do infact I know it is - I just feel horrible at the moment and want everything to settle down again. and for it feel like me and my sons have some sort of future and that we can live our life our way at last

DreamerHelen

Hi There, I'm a long-time lurker of your Diary....I hope you don't mind me Posting today but I just HAD to say something....


I think you are WELL-rid of him.....and his Family....they sound like horrible people.....and you don't deserve to be treated that way....


The only people you should be concerned about are your Children and yourself.....


I wanted to wish you all the best....I can see how it would make you feel miserable but I really think you did the right thing....

teddypinkskin

Hi

I too am a lurker on your thread and have to agree totally with what DreamerHelen said.

The only people you have any responsibility for our your sons and yourself. Tell him and his family to take a hike. They've leeched off you quite long enough.

Be strong and don't give in to any of his emotional blackmail. He's a big boy now time for him to take 100% responsibility for himself and HIS family. Just like you do for yours.

catandy

feeling a bit stronger tbh - now that the initial whammy of what has just happened has finally sunk in.


and I've been doing some thinking - the only bills I am still liable for ex and his extended family are 2 mobile fone contracts (on the same account as mine and my sons' fone). I'm letting it bounce/ default and get passed to a DCA - sons and I will move to Gifgaf and top up monthly and it severs everything finally (so no more nasty surprises further on). it will mean yet another default on my file but in the great scheme of things that really doesn't matter - I am never going to touch credit again as long as I live. and by doing it there is absolutely nothing that can jump up to bite me unannounced.


project for now is survive the month - good job the freezers are full to bursting - DS2 is in charge of keeping the leccie meter topped up and ive got a full tank of petrol which should be enough to get me back and forth to work (ive got a couple of weeks off at the end of the month so that will save some pennies). Im also doing a car boot this weekend - if its not been used in the last 12 months or has sentimental/ personal value then its not needed - time to try and earn some pennies from our junk again!