The Road to Rio......... :)

Buffythedebtslayer

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

The list

1. [STRIKE]pull up the lino/underlay thing in the bathroom. [/STRIKE]
2. Clean out Piggies and gerbils.
3.[STRIKE] hoover. [/STRIKE]
4. [STRIKE]let in shower man [/STRIKE]
5. [STRIKE]Sort out dog groomer [/STRIKE]
6. ring Ikea people
7. [STRIKE]eat lunch[/STRIKE];)
8. [STRIKE]do some washing.[/STRIKE]
9. maybe go on a date. depends. I am feeling a bit desperate and vunlerable and am worried about my friend's little girl so it doesn't feel right at all.

and if anyone has any dog advice I would be most grateful.

xxx

not bad, the poor guinea pigs and gerbils tho! have also arranged dates for Tuesday lunch time, Wed lunch time and Thursday evening. Plus a dog walking socialising thing on Friday.

Also have another date on the 10th. mustn't forget, plus dentist and facial and three year old's party on Saturday and a fun run on Sunday. must check that actually.

Will do animals tomorrow morning. got work tomorrow which is actually a pain in the !!!!.

ho hum.

no news on my friend's little girl. SO worried.

xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

List of things I must write about on here

1. dating

2. two types of crisis

3. food

4. puppies.

back tomorrow SO tired now! xx

youareallhelpingme

Hope you manage to rest a bit this week .

Hope the dates go well and how the little one?

x

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello,

We aren't getting information at the moment, she is stable and I think if you read between the lines there is a little improvement. It is going to be a long old road for her and her mum. Just keep praying.

I haven't been able to get up there this week. Essentially - OVER SHARE I have my period which meant at the start of the week I had a toothache and a sore throat - Wisdom teeth, now I have a headache and really upset tummy. don't want to eat anything.

I am going on a date tonight tho, if it kills me. He is very local and seems normal, maybe a little old but not sure.

At times like this I still wish it had worked out with the ex! not because I still like him just because it would be good to have someone there, this year has been hard with one thing and another.

Plus the last guy I dated who was SO serious one minute and then when he asked if I wanted children and I said too soon for that question(we'd been seeing each other a couple of months) he basically said he was sure he wanted them and if I didn't know then he should move on! That left me really confused to be honest - seriously how many men say that!

I do want children but I think at my age it is highly unlikely I will meet someone and have kids. I just feel like I should have done this already and basing a relationship on having children just seems stupid to me. What about love? He never said a single thing about love and I know that is what I want!

So I was meant to be writing about crises. I was thinking about my friend and her daughter - a true life changing down to your core frightening experience. The kind of thing no one wants to experience ever.

Then there are the things we think are a crisis, divorce maybe or losing your job and I suppose it depends on the circumstances to be fair but hopefully these events don't risk your life or the life of those you love.

I was thinking about slient crises (bear with me) Obviously as it is half term I was having a little review and a think about life as you do. I have to say I have been thinking along these lines since being diagnosed with skin cancer in the summer.

I wonder how many of us get up go to work go to the shops come home tidy up put some washing on feed everyone and repeat. How much do we think about WHAT WE ARE ACTUALLY DOING?

I don't know if it is the nature of my job - Working furiously collapse in the holidays and repeat having been too tired or ill in the holidays to do anything aside from if you are lucky catch up with your life (post, presents, washing, marking) or if it is true for everyone in the "rat race" as it were. I think it might actually be worse for some. It sometimes feels like I am constantly fire fighting small problems without even noticing the big problems or indeed some of the small ones! Life is lived (?) at such a pace that I barely seem to know what is going on half the time.

I don't eat well, I am over weight, Mum's health is not good my fiances are okish but I am in no way secure. When John Lennon said "life is what happens when you are making other plans" he was not kidding.

These problems can turn into full on life and death situations in the blink of an eye. Every time I am lazy and have a mircowave meal or a fry up cos I can't cook or the fact that I gave up the gym to spend more time marking, the time spent sorting through things I never needed and shouldn't have bought. The hours I waste here and watching tv as an escape, this is time I am taking away from my health and my relationships.

How many times have I said I am going to lose weight?
How many times have I said I am going to get organised?
How many times have I said I am going to the doctors?
How many times have I said I am going to eat better?
How many times have I said I am going to declutter?
How many times have I said I am going to change how I work?

Are these things really important to me? Do I have time for this !!!!!?

Buffythedebtslayer

I don't know what all this means, I will have to change somethings and consider exactly what it is that I want. Still that smacks of more time wasting which is essentially what I am doing. But I wonder how mant of us are sleepingwalking through life? in debt out of debt working not working?


any how dinner is almost ready. And I need to get ready for my date now. Time to switch the brain off for a bit!!

Buffythedebtslayer

My date cancelled.

To be honest given that in a fit of complete and total lack of confidence I have cancelled two dates this week I sort of feel it is instant karma so am not that bothered plus this means I can have a shower and put on some pjs get a hot water bottle take some bloody strong pain killers and chill the !!!! out for a bit.

Tomorrow I am walking the dogs over the forest with my friend (in new relationship so a bit loved up but she is a dear friend and I am so chuffed for her that I don't hate her for it )

I moved some money around today in an attempt to have some more savings. And tomorrow I shall make my yucky phone calls and look at a few things on my list.

xxx

youareallhelpingme

Lots of thinking going on there, and it raising thoughts in my own mind too.

I know your job has been like that for a number of years, it is for many people, and I guess that is why you feel you are on a constant treadmill.

Can you try and focus on one thing rather than all on your list? After all it takes a good few weeks to get into the habit of something, eg making proper meals or just changing the way you cook it to make it a bit healthier. Trying to change everything at once will be overload.

At the moment I am trying to get some work up to date and ebay - both will bring in extra money which is why I'm doing both together. I think thats plenty in one go .

Take care x

Buffythedebtslayer

You are right YAHM xx

I joined the NOvember challenge, more as a cheerleader at first but then I thought about it for a bit and I think it fits in well with what I need.

I need money! and have to stop wasting it! This is at the basis of all my problems.

So today I paid some money into my savings accounts

It may not stay in there but I can't spend it immediately.

So yeah my focus this month is

1. get ready for Christmas
2. save as much as I can
3. work on my 101 in a thousand and one days list.

Rome was not built in a day. I will do my best not to self sabotage

night all xx

Kepp

Some really interesting posts, Buffy.I think the thing is the things you want to do aren't things that you can put on a to-do list and tick off as they are more about changing habits if you see what I mean. And that's the thing - if you take one thing at a time and change it, then it will become a habit and no longer seem like effort to do.You will automatically choose the healthier meal, automatically build 30 minutes into your day for exercise as that is just what you do...I would suggest beginning with the de-cluttering though - I think it's so much easier to tackle anything when you have a clear and tidy space to think in/do things in.Even if it is just one thing a day that you eBay/put in a bag ready for the charity shop/bin etc by the end of the month you are still 30 things lighter

Shoe_Gal

Lots of food for thought there Buffy! :A