Rent at parents house

itch_for_a_glitch

£120 pcm each for my two , nothing towards :-
CT
TV
internet
Lighting
heating
water
If they leave those bills wont go down.

maginot

This is an interesting question posed by the OP.

I can see both sides of the argument, £400 seems a bit high, but if lodging is too low you will get children staying forever, like the posters who are 26, pay nothing but their own food and are never likely to leave.

This should be an enjoyable time for parents e.g. In their 50s have lots of disposable income, good salary after climbing the ladder, low mortgage or no mortgage costs and dependants should have flown the nest. May only have a few years before retirement, when this income reduces significantly. (not to say looking after children is not enjoyable )

However I do agree there should only be a reasonable amount for food and bills. I don't think rent should be included as this doesn't change with them living there. If the parents are charging more, they may be keeping this for when you come back and need some living costs.

chrissie57

harrup wrote: »

rara....before asking strangers here - have you discussed this matter with your parents?

Since their opinion is the only meaningful one.

I can't quite work out why you feel that £100 x week is an inordinate contribution in order to have a roof over your head and to eat. Especially in view that your impetus for moving back wasn't that you lost your job, experienced an illness or any other curveball that life can throw at you.

If you truly feel that the requested amount is unfair, have a think why you have come to this conclusion and then approach your parents with a counter suggestion and then explain the rationale why you feel that ought to pay less.

That's what adults do - they discuss and negotiate.

Just as aside - if I envisage moving back to my parents house and then debate and feel hard done by if they ask me, an adult, for an adult contribution to my living expenses ....because I want to go travelling and I am their "child"!....they would likely have me certified. There comes a time in everybody's life when they are done with the role of "child" and "parent". When we are just all adults.

This is the best post I have seen on this thread, very level headed and sensible

We don't know why the brother is not yet paying rent - he only left college a few weeks ago so may not have found a job yet. If the OP stayed at home for a while after he left HE and if he was charged rent immediately then I agree it is unfair, otherwise they are being treated the same.

In order to fully judge you would also need to know how much the OP was paying to live independently. If it was markedly more than his mother wants, then he will still be able to save for his desire to travel. His parents are under no obligation to help him any more than that.

By the way - why was this not discussed before you moved back in? Did you just assume your parents would subsidise (sp?:o) you?

spendaholic66

Ha, my mum would love to read this post. She only occasionally manages to get £15 a week from my 29 year old sister. That includes all bills, the endless amounts of food she eats, and her laundry washed, dried, ironed and put on her bed.

rara879

Just to answer a few points...

My mum did of course tell me what she wanted in rent before I moved back in but the debate started when she told me the £400 included food and then when I specified food I would like I was told to jog on!!

I am not necessarily saying that I object to paying £400 per month but when asking around my friends the most that any of them pay is £200 per month so I wanted to find out if I am paying way more than most people pay as I didnt want to base anything just on my friends!

Ive rented a place on my own for the last 4 years so I sure do have a very good idea of the cost of living, I just wasnt expecting to pay anything near that to live at my parents house.

Also, I dont think my mum is trying to get rid of me - she was telling me she wanted me to move back ever since i moved out - although maybe not wanting me to go travelling is more likely!!

My brother starts a job next week so I assume he will start paying rent then (he better)!!

Thank you for all opinions though.

ash28

itch_for_a_glitch wrote: »

£120 pcm each for my two , nothing towards :-
CT
TV
internet
Lighting
heating
water
If they leave those bills wont go down.

In our house CT, TV and internet wouldn't change but the rest certainly would.

lighting (electricity) - no lights left on, sometimes all night, no computers left on all night, no tvs left on standby... no tumble dryer for 1 pair of trousers, no washing machine for 1 or 2 articles, I could go on ......this evening I found the freezer door had been left slightly open ......probably for most of the day.

Heating - 2 rooms on frost setting during the winter would make a difference to our oil bill.

Water - we're on a meter so 2 people leaving would probably halve the water bills.

geoffky

We never charged our eldest daughter but last year she told us she wished we had because when she got a place with her boyfriend she felt overwhelmed with all the bills and costs..Sometimes you are not doing them a favour by being a soft touch...As she found out..

Graham_Devon

Theres no right or wrong here. Ultimately the OP either pays up, or doesn't.

I've witnessed cases whereby parents think they are doing their kids a favour and making them pay their way with high amounts of "rent money". Trouble was, for most, it didn't work, as they wanted to get out as quick as possible. For the young adult, why pay so much to live under your parents rules, when you can get a hovel or a flatshare for a tiny bit more?

In each case, the idea has backfired on the adults, as they have pushed their kids to live elsewhere, many times with less security and less money to save towards their future.

My personal thoughts is that £400 is a lot. That's well into profit teritory as I doubt any 24 year old will be relying soley on mum and dad for their food.

My personal view is that some see it from a landlord perspective and some see it from a child perspective.

Theres a fine line between teaching your children the hard way and actually putting them through more hardship through your attitude towards trying to teach them, as it's easy to push them away.

There shold of course be a fee, but getting it right is a personal thing.....I just personally find £400 at profit making level, which I personally take issue with when it's your own children.

Colin297

Notmyrealname wrote: »

The OP is 24. They should be standing on their own two feet, not still poncing off their parents.

True, but not everything is life is a "lesson".

It's not as if the economy is vibrant!

The "boomerang generation" is very clearly based on the premise that is it significantly cheaper to move back home with the oldies. It is what it is.


As for - "Should be on their own two feet, not still puncing off their parents".....what i say to that is, it's not about "ideals", is it? It's about pragmatism. By right, perhaps she shouldnt be living with her parents, nor should i, but im not going to move out simply to conform to a perception of "standing on your own two feet" etc etc. Like most who choose to live at home when mid twenties, they are using it as a plateau on which to build. Alot of people who move out when they're 18 (not all) end up living pay cheque to pay cheque and never getting ahead. Obviously the OP is talking about traveling, but most cases are people saving up for mortgages and trying to "get ahead" and be practical. I fully endorse this provided the parents are supportive of same. In the event of non-supportive parents, clearly you look to plan B.

JonnyBravo

rara879 wrote: »

Thank you for all opinions though.

As several others have said, it's really only your parents opinion that counts.

Granted you may be able to sway that opinion within a reasoned discussion but I'd suggest "it's more than my friends pay" doesn't really carry any weight whatsoever and is only marginally less silly than "60% of the people on the internet said it should be £200".

Let us know what you decide.