delicate subject - abortion

Saturnalia

lazer wrote: »

The anti-abortion side believe the child is equally as important as the mother though, and that abortion is ending the life of a child, so therefore should no be allow. The pro-choice side force their choices on the unborn child.

In a ideal world, there would be no unwanted pregnanies and no need for abortion, but we do not live in an ideal world.

I will leave the debate now though

Pro-choice is about every mother deciding what she wants to do - it's not about forcing anyone into anything.

There seem to be plenty of pregnant women who either planned their pregnancy or it was a happy accident and they decided to go ahead and give birth, so if the pro-choice side really is going around trying to force all pregnant women into abortions against their will, it really doesn't seem to be all that successful at it!

Mrs_Arcanum

lazer wrote: »

The anti-abortion side believe the child is equally as important as the mother though, and that abortion is ending the life of a child, so therefore should no be allow. The pro-choice side force their choices on the unborn child.

In a ideal world, there would be no unwanted pregnanies and no need for abortion, but we do not live in an ideal world.

I will leave the debate now though

Until an embyo can survive outside the mother this is a somewhat impossible wish.

hawk30

heartbreak_star wrote: »

That is actually a really good point and thank you for making it, I think it was more the knee-jerk reaction flared in me, same as it did when a girl I worked with who was having trouble conceiving threatened to slap me if I mentioned adoption to her, apparently it wouldn't be her baby.

Tbh, I can understand her reaction. Adoption is often trotted out as a solution to infertility, but the people who suggest it generally don't realise that it's not a easy solution - you have to deal with social workers prying into every aspect of your lives and imposing seemingly near impossible conditions; the child is likely to have been in care for quite a while, with all the problems that entails; even if the child has not been abused or neglected there are likely to be attachment issues; and so on. It's understandable that most people want to exhaust all options of having their own biological child before considering adoption.

Mrs_Arcanum

hawk30 wrote: »

Tbh, I can understand her reaction. Adoption is often trotted out as a solution to infertility, but the people who suggest it generally don't realise that it's not a easy solution - you have to deal with social workers prying into every aspect of your lives and imposing seemingly near impossible conditions; the child is likely to have been in care for quite a while, with all the problems that entails; even if the child has not been abused or neglected there are likely to be attachment issues; and so on. It's understandable that most people want to exhaust all options of having their own biological child before considering adoption.

You can be an obese, alcoholic drug addict with anger management problems who smokes 40 a day to be a biological parent. Definitely none of these if you wish to adopt.

sleepy-head_3

This is just my experience and isn't meant to represent other women who have had a termination. I had a surgical procedure at 17 weeks; the procedure itself went just fine and was over very quickly. What I wasn't told was that my body would think that I had given birth and my breasts started to produce milk - this was upsetting and very unexpected but I would have dealt with it far better if I had been made aware that it might happen. I was told I wouldn't need counselling afterwards and I really believed this at the time. It took me almost two years to realise I really needed it! Even though I made the decision for all the right reasons, morally it went against my beliefs and I carried an immense amount of guilt.

Please, please make sure your friends daughter gets some counselling afterwards, no matter how well she deals with whatever procedure she has. Its really important that you have the chance to work through any emotions in a safe environment.

I'm happy to say that I'm in a great place right now, I often think of the baby that might have been particularly around the time that he/she may have been born but I know that it was the right thing to do for me and the baby. The father and I split up a year after the termination and being from a divorced family I would have hated the same thing for my child.

There is great help and support out there; I can't thank my amazing counsellor enough for the help and support she gave me and I don't think I'd be where I am today without it.

Ask every question you can possibly think of, there are no stupid questions in this situation and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Every woman has a different experience so take the constructive elements from this feed that will really help your friends daughter to make the right decision. Good luck.

Torry_Quine

She is now keeping the baby. ^^

faerie~spangles

Mrs_Arcanum wrote: »

You can be an obese, alcoholic drug addict with anger management problems who smokes 40 a day to be a biological parent. Definitely none of these if you wish to adopt.

Not all women / men are destined to become biological mothers or fathers.

Some women leave it too late for their biological clock. Then expect the medical profession to help them conceive and carry to full term.

Adopting a child is a / should be a life long commitment.

zaxdog

End of story really should be:

My womb = my decision

That's it, no ifs, no buts, no maybes!

And certainly NO guilt foisted on women by folk who in general are lucky enough never to have had to make that sort of choice!

poet123

zaxdog wrote: »

End of story really should be:

My womb = my decision

That's it, no ifs, no buts, no maybes!

And certainly NO guilt foisted on women by folk who in general are lucky enough never to have had to make that sort of choice!

How do you know who has had to make that kind of choice?

And as for luck, is it luck? Always?

faerie~spangles

One of the miscarriages I endured resulted in the medical expert (Doctor) leaving finger print bruises on my abdomen. He had absolutely no respect for women.



I absolutely believe that no woman should be denied the right to abort a pregnancy.



I also believe that young males ought to be taught that 'riding bareback' will cost them 50% of their income if they father a child.