I have a dream...to be a MFW

ajmoney

I don't do it through facebook but I suppose it might.

In other news...we are about to book our holiday for Christmas...£800 ish each. We were toying with not going away but it is a tradition for us and we would miss the food and atmosphere so I need to try and make some extra money now.

edinburgher

DH was looking at a shirt and said he would wait and buy online and his words "maybe I can get some cashback too", he is learning, I am so proud

At least he's willing to play the game - I was slightly peeved that my beloved wife neglected to get Nectar points, cashback *or* use the cashback credit card with some online shopping this week. It's as if she doesn't like free money!

ajmoney

edinburgher wrote: »

At least he's willing to play the game - I was slightly peeved that my beloved wife neglected to get Nectar points, cashback *or* use the cashback credit card with some online shopping this week. It's as if she doesn't like free money!

He also joined in with my mobile check ins today

edinburgher

That's the spirit! See - we men can learn to love MFW :T

ajmoney

A lot to think about from today's appointment with the financial advisor. We came out from there with DH planning to pay off both our loans from his savings and our monthly wages now saving the right amount into funds for holidays, MORE for groceries and entertainment and a monthly OP of between £450 and £500 for the mortgage. The only problem I have with this is it means DH is paying my loan and far more of a monthly share than me. I understand that he earns more a month than me and that financially we are a unit but I have been financially independant for so long that I am currently struggling with this. It is weird though, if I go along with this it will mean that we keep exactly the same lifestyle and would have the mortgage paid off in about 10 years (maybe 9). Imagine what we would be able to do if we pulled the reins in a bit! We have already talked through a couple of ideas while being in the appointment. We need to decide what we are doing by Monday at our next appointment but I have a feeling we will reach a decision before the night is out as I already feel uncomfortable and will not be able to sleep unless we sort it.

edinburgher

The only problem I have with this is it means DH is paying my loan and far more of a monthly share than me. I understand that he earns more a month than me and that financially we are a unit but I have been financially independant for so long that I am currently struggling with this.

Please don't feel bad or conflicted about it - as you know - when you're married you both do whatever is best for you as a family

Examples:

My wife's parents gave her a large sum which she put towards our mortgage deposit. I felt a bit inadequate (but grateful) and she never mentioned it (or thought of using it for anything else).

I earn £600/mth more than my wife, but we get the same amount to spend and I pay a greater proportion of all the bills than she does. I don't care, swings and roundabouts!

Talk it through, but be prepared to do whatever's best for the pair of you without guilt :T

ajmoney

I understand where you are coming from and I am trying to come round to it in my own head, if we do this then I can try and get extra money to OP a bit more and work on saving money in some of our extravagant areas to pay off earlier. The good thing is I think Mr ajmoney is on board with this now and agrees that he may be paying more but I just have some weird thing going on in my head.

ajmoney

My loan has now been paid off courtesy of Mr Ajmoney, all £5945.35 of it. This much I can cope with because eventually I will make sure he gets the money back.

ajmoney

I think we may have a proper SOA finally although some people would have a heart attack at some of our totals! I may even post it soon. The woman at the bank tried to persuade me on life cover/critical illness, I think she has convinced Mr Ajmoney however £42K does not sit well with me (that is more than our smaller mortgage). I just need to work my head around this and then I believe we may be ready to OP, I have worked out that I could pay a third and Mr Ajmoney 2 thirds. I am already thinking about the s months with no council tax as other OPs, not to mention the fact I don't think we will need all of the grocery/entertainment budget. Just need to discuss with DH about tidying accounts monthly. I definately feel better about joining in the MFiT challenge in December.

HelenDaveKids

I think there are always swings and roundabouts with money in relationships. Its a partnership. Have just gone full time after 13 yrs of part time, although always done extra shifts. My wages now exceed OH but what does it matter.