Mean or a kick in the right direction

euronorris

embob74 wrote: »

I had a car accident and was pushed into getting back to driving quite quickly and I realise now that it was definitely a case of "getting straight back on the horse". If you are just nervous about driving again you will have to conquer that fear sooner or later.
However if you are struggling physically to drive then you do need to wait until you are better. Bear in mind it will look quite deliberate if you are citing this reason not to drive to the footy match but are quite happy to drive elsewhere (although I do think it is a long way to go so soon after the accident).
I agree with others that your bf not being able to drive is a separate issue from you driving him everywhere. I know many couples where only 1 partner drives and they are quite happy with the situation.
Both me and my OH drive but if we go somewhere where alcohol is being served then I usually don't drink so OH can and I drive home. I don't drink much anyway so it doesn't bother me but I know if I told OH I fancied a drink and he would have to drive then he would.

I think the issue is the relationship doesn't feel equal which is something that is best addressed calmly and without resentment.

Getting back on the horse is one thing. Doing a 3.5-4 hour drive straight after is another thing entirely and if he can't understand and respect that (and would assume it was deliberate), then that is his problem.

My first car accident wasn't that bad, but it really shook me up. However, as it was New Year's Eve and everyone else had been drinking, the only option I had was to drive myself home. I cannot tell you how relieved I was to get home and I stuck to shorter journeys for the first month. After that, I did longer ones again.

Bennifred

I actually think that being able to drive is a very useful life skill.

I have developed a severe mobilty problem in the last few years (have been driving for over thirty years), and would be severely restricted and much less independent if I couldn't drive. I also think that it would be easier to learn to drive when young rather than waiting until you HAVE to.

I don't think the OP should feel she has to drive to Liverpool after having an accident. I would be hacked off if my OH put his desire to see a football match above my well-being, no matter how great his disappointment! Let him get public transport if it is that important to go at all costs.

The OP, although willing to go prior to the accident, now has other priorities (new car to find, etc). So be it.

ktb

chewynut wrote: »

Not everybody wants to be in charge of a tin can of death that pollutes the atmosphere and guzzles your money.

Maybe not, but 99.9% of them are all too keen to accept a lift in one - especially when it's raining or the other option is a journey on public transport which involves 2 changes and is running to a Sunday timetable!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Most footie fans take themselves off to matches on the train.

I suggest he does the same.


But if he doesn't want to learn to drive, then that's his decision.

Fire_Fox

ktb wrote: »

Maybe not, but 99.9% of them are all too keen to accept a lift in one - especially when it's raining or the other option is a journey on public transport which involves 2 changes and is running to a Sunday timetable!

Accepting a lift is not the same as being in charge of a car, nor the same as expecting a lift whether the person is going your way or not. My entire life access to public transport was a key criteria in choosing where to live - currently a city centre - and the lack of car affects choosing certain parts of my wardrobe. My mother offers to drive me many places and I often refuse or just thank her but never actually take her up on it. My criteria are how easy/ difficult it is for me to make the journey under my own steam, and what is in it for her.

j.e.j.

I am sensing a lot of resentment from car-drivers whose OHs don't drive!

OP, don't drive if you don't feel up to it, but don't beat him over the head about not being a driver. (I'm speaking as a non-driver myself.) As others have said he could get the train or coach?

I guess it's true that we non-drivers don't know much about the costs etc of running a car, but I would also say drivers seem to think the world will stop turning if you don't have a car or don't drive!

ktb

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Accepting a lift is not the same as being in charge of a car, nor the same as expecting a lift whether the person is going your way or not..

I couldnt agree more and I have absolutely no issue giving my non-driver friend lifts.... but anyone who proclaims the following about cars; "....a tin can of death that pollutes the atmosphere and guzzles your money." ... and then expects or accepts a lift (which they do!), is a hypocrite . That is all I am saying

Mrs.W_2

The OP's OH might one day realise a need to get his d/l, but until that day comes it's useless to pressurise him.

Until my early twenties I worked local to home, in a town with good rail links, so didn't need to drive. One house move later, to a small village with limited public transport, I made the effort to gain my d/l.

If lifts were offered from co-workers or my OH I would sometimes accept*, but I never relied on them driving me around! That kind of behaviour makes me think of teenagers relying on Dad's Taxi Service.


*Only sometimes, because public transport gave excellent opportunities to catch up on my reading.

City_Girl_2

Tell him to try and sell both your tickets and save a wasted journey, City will pick up the 3 points anyway;):)

CITY

On a serious note has he had a look around to see if there are any Supporters Clubs in your area that put on a coach and you could maybe both have a more comfortable day out, to see Liverpool lose of course!!!

Gingernutty

Can he not take the train and try to tout the ticket once he's there?