Mean or a kick in the right direction

Dunroamin

Why can't he just catch the train?

Tropez

Cyril wrote: »

An I the only one who thinks its weird in this day and age for a bloke not to drive. Its almost a right of passage isn't it.

If you don't want to drive don't there are plenty of coaches to get him there.

I know a few people who don't drive. I didn't learn to drive until I was 24 because I had no need to do so and truth be told I still don't really drive that much now. I don't care much for it, to be honest.

And yes, I was thinking, why not just take the coach or the train?

euronorris

If he doesn't want to drive, that's his choice, but it comes with consequences that he needs to accept. In this instance, a recent accident you had, means that he will have to find alternative transport (which isn't difficult - surely a train or coach will do). That's it. He's a grown man, so it's up to him (no point you pressuring him or trying to teach him a lesson).

I don't think you're mean. I wouldn't want to do that drive so soon after an accident either.

peachyprice

Cyril wrote: »

An I the only one who thinks its weird in this day and age for a bloke not to drive. Its almost a right of passage isn't it.

My Oh didn't learn to drive until he was 35ish, and then it was only for a job that was inaccessible by public transport. He changed job, sold the car and hasn't driven since.

He can't drive my car either because he only took an automatic test and I always buy manual cars

Infact, thinking about it, I only ever had one boyfriend who had a car.

TeamLowe

i'd answer the poll but none of the answers are about what you want to do.
if you don't want to go, don't go. make sure you reimburse whoever bought the ticket so they're not out of pocket.
you could drive him to the train station/coach picking up point but to sacrifice a large chunk of your weekend when you have something important to do and your mental wellbeing (if it will stress you out so soon after your accident) just because he's spat the dummy out seem ludicrous.

i would agree that it would be mean to book tickets, say you'll drive knowing full well you don't want to go then say you won't to teach him a lesson, but i get the impression this trip was planned in advance of your current situation so you wasn't to know this would stop you from wanting to go.

euronorris

FWIW, I was a late driver too - 24. I'd been umming and ahhing about it for a while but the cost put me off. Then my Dad had an accident in the garden, and had to be rushed to hospital, but my brother had been drinking already that night, and my Mum was so freaked out she was in no state to drive. And me? Never felt more useless in my life!

b_girl

Cyril wrote: »

An I the only one who thinks its weird in this day and age for a bloke not to drive. Its almost a right of passage isn't it.

I wouldn't say it's 'weird', more like presumed maybe. There are lots of reasons why people don't drive.

My DH didn't start learning to drive until his late 20's due to his epilepsy and then when he did he had to give it up shortly after due to a sudden pay drop which left us struggling financially. As soon as our funds pick up he wants to start learning again.

To the OP, I think if you are are shaken up about your accident then your OH should support your decision not to go as this would understandably be hard for you.
If you mainly just want to get him to rethink his decision about driving though I think it'd be better to discuss it with him and explain your reasons for wanting him to learn.
Has he said why he hasn't decided to learn?

Gavin83

Cyril wrote: »

An I the only one who thinks its weird in this day and age for a bloke not to drive. Its almost a right of passage isn't it.

If you don't want to drive don't there are plenty of coaches to get him there.

Honestly not really. I've been driving since I was allowed to but even so I don't think it's weird not to. I wouldn't expect a man to be more likely to drive than a woman either, I probably know more women who drive than men.

Never been asked if I drive for a job before either.

In response to the OP I think you should just tell him to get a train, it's no more difficult. Maybe offer to drop him at the train station if your feeling nice.

Hermia

DKLS wrote: »

Not mean in the slightest, I find it odd he hasn't learnt to drive unless you live in central London. Might just give his career a boost.

I recently interviewed for a role, two candidates with very similar experience and skills, one could drive the other couldn't, and whilst the role doesn't require a driver it can be useful so the driver got the job.

Same here. An applicant who drives is a bonus because we know they can go to meetings or to cover at other branches easily. We have taken on a couple of people who didn't have cars and it has been a pain to be honest as they are not as flexible. As soon as I learnt to drive I put that on my CV and I definitely felt I got more interviews because of it.

I can totally understand why people don't want to drive. I have to admit that I don't particularly enjoy it. But, I do think if you opt not to drive you shouldn't treat all the drivers in your life like taxi drivers. I used to know a guy who wouldn't drive for ethical reasons, but constantly asked for lifts - grrrr!

VestanPance

If he's going to a football match surely there will be some sort of supporters bus going to the game, or he could take the train. Also if he went on a supporters bus he could let them know he has an extra ticket and quite likely find a buyer for it.